Hee Hee. Evil Twin and I pulled it off. That's right. We pulled one over on the humans. Somehow, Evil Twin rigged the smoke alarm outside their bedroom to howl its impending death at 3:00 am. YIKES! You should have heard what that male human said. I'll admit I was a bit startled myself as I wasn't sure if Evil Twin could pull off the trick. I accidentally clawed the female. She forgave me quickly, though, with a nice little head rub once I returned to the den.
A few times lately, I have tested my reign as king cat around here. The two-legged cats raised their voices at me. I relented, fooling them into thinking they are in charge. I am patient. I know that in just a short time, I will be taking the female human for walkies complete with a collar and leash.... ON HER!
The female human has found an evil device that I'm sure will bring about excruciating pain if it gets anywhere near me. She called it a "little slinky" and kept asking me what was scaring me so much. I noticed that it rhymes with "wittle stinky" which is what I've heard her call me after I've visited my box and deposited a huge pile of...
Oh, ok. I guess I should be more polite. I have to take dumps, periodically, 'K? My favorite time for stinky deposits is immediately after the female cleans my box. I think I'm getting the hang of this "evil" stuff.
Those idiots threw away my cardboard scratching post, replacing it with some ugly monstrosity they said would be much less messy. As usual, I have no idea what that means but I pouted for days. Finally, the female, showing a slight hint of intelligence, retrieved my favorite toy from the trash. Ahhhh, it feels so good to have sharp instruments of death again.
Ferocious beast activities will resume
after my nap and my noon sustenance.
I can do so much more damage now.