Monday, December 10, 2012

Furry Festivities

Purrs.  Hi!  I'm back with an update from this insane existence with the worse humans in the entire world. 

They put up this stick with green itchy stuff and threatened me with scalping if I go near it.  This thing is disturbing.  I've never seen anything like it before.

Ahem, Oreo, it's a Christmas tree and it was put up last year, too.

What?  Really?  I don't remember that.  Anyway, the other day I jumped on it's root and it's cover fell off making all sorts of racket and little toys crashed to the ground.  I went upstairs to think about my next step in its destruction.

You silly thing. You jumped on the table and the tree tickled you.  You were scared poopless and when you jumped down, you pulled the tree skirt with you and several ornaments fell on the floor.  The humans said you ran away like a scaredy cat.  They were sorry that they placed their tree on the table that once contained your sleeping tray.

My magic food bowl broke.  Now I have to rely on the female upright beast with opposable thumbs to dispense my food.  She's not very automatic.  I have to wake her with my paw in the mornings to tell her that I'm starving.

Oreo, your paw is about to get you ousted from the warm bed.

I'm too cute and furry.  I'll never be ousted.  Hee Hee.

At least my furry friends have a tree this year (and I can still get to my window spot):

And I can see this from one of my thrones.  It looks like my squirrel friends may have conspired and assembled this crazy menagerie:

The female says that it never snows around here so all the snow decorations are silly.  This morning she was trying to show me what snow is.   I ignored her.  I was busy staring out the window looking at something white dusting the ground, wondering if that white stuff is edible.

Ah, I'd better sign off.  My warm lap is on it's way to the couch.  I'm ready for my long snooze.

"1.00s, 1.50s, 1.75s for the short arms. If you know what I'm talking about, you're probably old, too."

"Boomer brain fog: What was the last, middle, and first part of what you just said to me?"