Tuesday, September 30, 2008

More wine, please

"Would you like some cheese with that whine?" That's what hubby says when he thinks I'm being a little grumpy. This is a very rare thing of course.

What I'm really talking is wine; that smooth and silky alcoholic beverage that goes with just about anything and any occasion. One of the things I get to do since I'm not working a full-time job is go to the occasional wine-tasting class at a local university thru the Continuing Education department. Hubby and I have attended two of these classes and I find that I can now spell wine and may be able to tell you the names of some of the grapes and that Bordeaux is in France. I'm kidding. I really did know that. I can also find Qatar on the globe (but it takes me awhile).

Tonight's class was Bordeaux 2005. What I didn't know is that a Bordeaux wine is a mixture of mainly Cabernet Sauvignon and Merlot grapes and that the year 2005 was one of the best years ever. Apparently, the moon and stars aligned.....sorry about that. Actually it was a dry summer and fall without high temperatures and that defined the almost "perfect" conditions for grape-growing.

The Bordeaux wines we had tonight were incredible! Bordeaux wines are mostly red wines but we started off with a white wine. Unlike most white wines, it wasn't sweet and fruity. It had some depth to it and had more of a dry taste. I had a refill. The red wines were awesome. Hubby was really into the reds that had a larger percentage of Cabernet Sauvignon grapes. I favored the ones with more Merlot grapes. Hubby drank my refills.

OK, if you're not into wine, I humbly apologize. That's enough of Wine 101. I'm still buzzing from guzzling (I mean sipping) the wines that were presented in class tonight. About halfway thru class, I was wondering why the presentation seemed to be moving on the wall. I finally realized the presenter was using animation. DAMN HIM! That's evil when folks are drinking. At least he didn't grow two heads and I'm glad hubby was driving. Please realize that I'm an easy drunk. Thank goodness for the bread and cheese they provided.

I used to think all wines had to be sweet. I've come a long way. Now I like them to be red and dry but I'm opening up to rose and white wines. I'm not a wine snob yet and will probably never achieve that status but I've learned a great deal from these classes. Try one if you can. I've also noticed that many retail stores that sell wines (e.g. World Market) will occasionally have wine tastings and these are usually a little cheaper.

Yes I like wine but I also like beer and tequila and homemade rum cakes. I make a mean rum ball at Christmas. Maybe I should start selling them to support my wine-tasting classes ;-)

Monday, September 29, 2008

Yes, there is humor in yoga

As you may know, I've been in Colorado for a yoga conference. I realize I may have lost most of you by using the word yoga, but take a breath and hang with me a few more minutes. Hubby went with me and took a "Beginner's Conference" and surprised himself by enjoying it. More on that in a later post.

In the dining hall, we enjoyed the ever-so-active sport of people watching. That's right. We mentally rolled our eyes at the folks wearing turbans and the dude that looked like a Hari Krishna on the side of the road selling roses. Then there were the folks that appeared to take themselves and their yoga (whatever style or brand) way too seriously. But to align myself with yogic philosophy (taking a deep breath), I have to let folks express themselves in their own way. Sigh.

Back to the story. Believe it or not, there were some reasonably normal looking people. Of course I'm referring to me and hubby and all of our friends that attended the conference.

If we thought there were strange attendees, the presenters offered much more in the way of entertainment. I had a class Saturday that was in a dark tiny room. There was a small stage/podium for the presenter. It was decorated with a purple cloth on the back wall that draped down over a chair. This "throne" was surrounded by fresh flowers. It was pretty but weird. In walks the presenter. He looks like he is from India, even has a hard-to-pronounce last name. He's wearing an aloha shirt and loose shorts. He walks to the stage and stares at us. We stare back. He says nothing. He starts to unbutton his shirt. My eyes are getting bigger. I exhale as he has a shirt on underneath. He takes off his shorts. My eyes get bigger again. I exhale as he has another pair of shorts on. By this point, I'm getting really freaked out. I'm so hoping he doesn't take anything else off! I look at my watch and think to myself just 2 more hours.......

Then he starts his class opening. I won't go into that. It's just yoga stuff. After that he actually starts talking to us and making jokes. I relax. He is really a funny guy and knows his stuff. About halfway thru the session, he turns around and quietly stares at the "throne". After a very long minute, he says "If I were a guru, I'd sit there". We laugh. I breathe a huge sigh of relief and mentally thank him for not taking himself and yoga so seriously. I will say that there were some folks in the room that really think this dude is a guru. I just don't get that.

There was one presenter that had a band on the podium. They played "twangy" music while he directed the class. At the end the band performed a song while the presenter danced sitting down. The presenter seemed to forget about the 100 or so folks sitting on our butts waiting for class to end so we could go get a beer and some meat in town. Uh.....did I say beer? I meant waiting to go meditate ;-)

But basically, it was real people effectively using yoga in the real world. What a sigh of relief.

I'll leave you with this cartoon and no, it's not me. The boob (sorry guys, must be a wardrobe malfunction) is too big and I would never be able to get my leg THAT high!

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Monday, September 22, 2008

Purple Mountains

Update: Waterfall hike pictures, Pagosa Springs, CO

Greetings from Colorado! Hubby and I have spent the last couple of days in Pagosa Springs on our way to Estes Park for the yoga and beer party (uh...I mean serious yogi conference). We stopped in Santa Fe before we came here.

We lost all of our marbles in Santa Fe. We decided that a 7-mile trek to the top of a mountain was a good idea. It was beautiful but it just kept going up and then up again and again until finally, we were at the top. We were were passed by a girl in flip-flops but we noticed she didn't try the wicked switchbacks that made up the last 2 miles! Topping off that hike by guzzling a margarita at our favorite Mexican food place made it very clear that we really weren't playing with a full deck. High altitude, dehydration and alcohol.......duh.

Thanks to Wit's Bitch's LOL cat, we recovered, found our marbles, and enjoyed a nice drive to Pagosa Springs. We are still in search of a great Mexican food place here but the hike we did today has made up for it. It was only a 6-miler (felt longer) with great views and an unusual waterfall at the end. Hubby has the pictures and one of these days you might see them.....all 1000. You will soon receive an invite to the slide show. Just kidding, just a few pictures will be posted. I promise.

Back to the waterfall. It starts as a thin stream but about 1/2 way down, the wind blows the water away from the rock. Then it finds the rock again and spreads out like a windshield before it hits the stream. Simple things can be so special.

The weather has been great and we hope it continues. We don't ask for much. We just like to stay dry on long hikes. Wet boots and wet undies are not fun. If that happens, we'll just have to have more alcohol to drown our sorrows.

And yes, the mountains really are purple.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Does Sarah Palin have brain fog?

OK. Last post before vacation.

Sarah Palin Wonder Woman

Ah, to be Wonder Sarah. Super-mom, media-crusher, moose-wrestler (and probably bear), confident, unafraid, and can probably remember names and what was just said to her. Guess she's not suffering from the dreaded BRAIN FOG. Why does this happen? Or maybe it never happens to you. That could mean that you're too young. Beware. It may sneak up on you and attack when you least expect. Here are some examples:
  1. You're listening to someone and they stop talking waiting for you to respond and you have to say "I'm sorry.....what was the last, middle, and beginning parts of what you just said to me?"
  2. You meet someone new and say their name 3 times, just like the books tell you to do. You see them the next day, hour, or minute, and you can't remember their name. CRAP!
  3. You do things the hard way about a hundred times before you figure out there is an easier way (at least you eventually notice but why did it take so DAMN long!).
I know there's more but I have to start packing for vacation while I still have some functioning neural pathways. Maybe I'll call Wonder Sarah and ask for advice.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Yoga party

Is it possible to "party" at a yoga conference? I'm about to find out. Hubby and I are leaving Friday evening to head west (and north). We will eventually wind up in Estes Park, Colorado for a yoga conference. Yes, hubby is attending. He is signed up for what they call the "Beginner's Conference" but I don't think he's cares so much about that as he does for the Rock Climbing and Yoga event that will be next Thursday, prior to the conference. I opted out of that one after my experience with rock climbing in Alaska last year. I'm terrified of heights and it was only a 50-ft cliff. All I can say is that I got to the top. I rang that damn bell. Later, I rappelled down. That was even more scary but I secretly admit that it was thrilling!

So back to partying. Our lodging at the conference includes vegetarian meals. One small problem. Neither hubby or I are vegetarians. Our friends tell us that there is a great place in Estes Park to get beer and a burger. Yep. We'll be going there a few times, and to the Mexican food place, the Chinese place, etc. Seriously, I can do vegetarian for a limited period of time but I'm not ready to give up my meat. After all, this is the south and we like our comfort foods. I'm hoping it's not vegan. I'm definitely not ready for that.

Now, back to partying (no, really). We will find beer and we have friends that are also attending the conference. That sounds like a party to me. We hope we do not end up this way (a redneck's version of table-top pose or incline-plank):

Redneck Yoga

If you want to see the other photo that goes with this one, I found it on this site Redneck Yoga. A few years ago, I got these pictures in an email then I forgot about them. I recently revised them when I needed a good laugh. Other funny yoga stuff is Bush yoga. Yes, it's a joke.

I may not have much time to post while I'm gone though I will try to keep up with my favorite blogs. I don't want to miss rants, polls, captions, energy debates, political satire and campaign-bashing, and last but not least, discussions about the twig-and-berries and/or boobies. ;-)


Monday, September 15, 2008

Mrs. White with the Lead Pipe

What's in post title anyway?

Hubby and I were discussing the movie CLUE over dinner one night. In case you are CLUE-less, you can read all about it. In a nutshell, it's about people with less-than-stellar lifestyles coming together at a scary old house with a storm brewing. Someone meets an early death. The classic who-done-it unfolds. The movie came out in late 1985. Hubby and I had just had our first date. It was Christmas light viewing and we were crazy enough to go on December 23rd. We sat in traffic but at least it gave us time to talk. And, yes, the lights were cool.

"Can that be called a date?", hubby asked.
"Absolutely", I replied, remembering that I didn't have many dates back then.

We saw the movie together at the theater but I obviously can't remember a thing.....can't even remember what ending was shown. At dinner I kept talking about Mr. Peabody and hubby finally said "WHO IS THAT?" with that "your nuts" look on his face so I had to go to Wikipedia and remind myself of the characters of the movie. It's really Mrs. Peacock and her "lifestyle issue" was bribery.

Hubby confessed to a big crush on Miss Scarlet (Lesley Ann Warren in the movie). She's a gorgeous red-head and runs a brothel....enough said. I can say that my hair is sometimes reddish brown (thanks to a secret formula only known to my hairstylist) and I think I look OK but I can't say that gorgeous has even been used to describe me. (Now I'm sure folks were just being discreet and didn't want me to get all conceited). I did have a guy tell me today that I look as good as the 27-year girl I'm filling in for at the fitness center where I'm working this week. I don't believe it. I could be her mom. That guy has got the flattery thing down good or maybe he needs some glasses.

I remember playing the CLUE board game quite a bit as a kid. I loved the cute little weapons and the color-themed characters. I also liked CANDYLAND and was very jealous of my best friend who had that game. Please realize this was few years earlier than my CLUE days. Then there's OPERATION. I can't forget that awful "squawk" when you touched the sides. I wasn't very steady with my hands so I decided surgery wasn't in my future. Seems like there was some game that had a buzzer in the middle that you pushed. I think it was called TROUBLE. I liked it.

Then there was TWISTER in Junior High and the occasional Spin-the-Bottle at parties (don't tell my mom). Yes, I know it's not really a board game. I eventually matured into the video game circuit when DONKEY KONG came out or was it PACMAN? Maybe both. I think there may have been a game of PONG in there somewhere. My brother and I thought that was great stuff.

Board games are classy. My family enjoys a good game of Scrabble when we visit at Christmas. I see some interesting board games at the stores and there seems to be a Monopoly for everything now. I can't imagine that Trivial Pursuit will ever leave us. I remember when I first starting working, folks played Trivial Pursuit during lunch. Hubby was quite good at it. I suck at it.

What are some others you like?

Finally, Hollywood should stay away from making movies out of board games. CLUE was not that great of a movie.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Waiting for IKE

Wow! Poor Galveston. Having been there several times for conferences and to pick up cruises, seeing the flooding and other damage is sad. But I bet the cruise lines get that port up and running pretty fast! Seriously, hurricanes aren't something to take lightly. I'm sure it's difficult to know what to do if you are in the path of the storm. Stay or go? It seems that if you go, the storm misses you completely and you risk some slime-ball breaking into your home while you're gone. If you don't go, you don't want to be the family on the rooftop, waiting for rescue, like your predicament is the only one the news cameras were able to get so we see you over and over again on the TV coverage.

A friend whose daughter is in Houston told me about a conversation with her daughter. Her daughter said "Mom, you raised me right. I got a few essentials from my apartment, the cats, and a bottle of wine!" I'm glad she has her priorities in order. She was on her way to higher ground, north of Houston. I hope she is doing OK.

I'm much further north in Texas and it is raining pretty good right now and the actual storm is not yet upon us. So what's a girl to do waiting for a hurricane?
  1. Hope to finish all electricity-related chores (uh, basically everything) before any power outage.
  2. Let the cat in and out. Repeat.
  3. Mow the yard. Seriously, hubby got part of it done before the rains came!
  4. Watch boring hurricane coverage on TV, same shots over and over again. It's real exciting when they get someone on the phone from East Texas and they sound like Hollywood got the accent right on the TV show Dallas. Hope you caught that sarcasm. We natives are sensitive about our drawl. Most of us don't talk like that. We just have a nice, soothing, pleasant drawl when we speak ;-)
  5. Watch the cat take a nap. What the hell. Join the cap in this napping activity.
  6. Hum....maybe list cat on EBay.
  7. Blog. Well, duh.
  8. Go surfing (just the electronic kind for now).
  9. Role-pay: Uh, no, not THAT kind of role-play. I am not dressed as a school girl. I mean the Suzie-Homemaker cook and clean thing. Cook a yummy southern-comfort breakfast. Sausage and eggs. Hey, it was turkey sausage and it was actually edible. Amazing. Clean-up breakfast. Scrub toilets (yeah, well, couldn't get the cat to do it). Do laundry. Cook more comfort food for lunch. Chicken Enchiladas with Red Chile Sauce (no, not Tex-Mex but New Mexico style and it's totally different). More Yum. Clean up lunch. Eat homemade Better-Than-Anything Chocolate Chip Cookies for dessert. Enjoy the sugar high. Note to self: Avoid bathroom scale. Go back to #5.
  10. Polish your Sudoku skills.

Or, you could just live dangerously:

Runs With Scissors Jr. Jersey T-Shirt
  1. Go for a long run and get caught in the storm.
  2. Fly a small plane, practicing ability to control plane in high winds, avoiding puking, and hoping to land plane when airport closes due to weather.
  3. Attempt to use the cat as a vacuum cleaner or dust mop. I wish this would work. After all, he brings in most of the dirt in the house. I'm a close second.
  4. Operate electric lawn maintenance equipment.
  5. Trim the trees. Use long slippery ladders.
  6. Test for power by sticking your fingers in the wall outlets.
  7. Drive into the path of the storm.
  8. Drive to Dallas and see if anything flies off the balconies of the high-rise apartments.
I hope all of us make it through this one with as little impact as possible.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Frugal gardening will rock you

September 11th. A day of remembrance. How can we forget? You probably remember where you were and what you were doing. I was driving to work. I heard the reports on the radio and immediately got chills all over my body. I went to work and was overwhelmed with implementation issues (gotta love IT) as we had just that day implemented a new system. When I had a minute to think, it was hard to stop the tears. We must forgive but we'll never forget.

OK, let's lighten it up around here.

I owe some thanks to somebody for this post. There was a recent post on saving money and it was hilarious. If it was yours, THANKS! If it wasn't and you want to claim it was yours, I probably won't know the difference.

Go green, reduce our carbon footprint, save the earth. Hey, I try to do my part. I can hear you saying: She's just a spotted-owl-loving, save-the-rain-forest, don't-eat-the-animals hippie all ready to tie herself to the next big tree about to be sacrificed for the sake of progress. After all, she's a baby-boomer (remember the barely part), over 40 and into yoga so that must be right. Sorry to disappoint but I'm not quite that bad yet. Here's how I'm doing so far:

  1. Electric car? When they are as cheap and effective as the non-electrics and the wheels/engine/chassis have fallen off my current vehicle, we'll talk.
  2. Use public transportation? Even more funny. It's practically non-existent around here.
  3. Long-life fluorescent bulbs? Of course, where it makes sense.
  4. Flush the toilet only once a day? Just kidding, I wouldn't ask anyone to do that.
  5. Take my own bags to the grocery store? Sure. Most of the time
  6. Thermostat up in summer, down in the winter:? Yeah, but it ain't pretty. Like many couples, hubby is hot-natured. I'm cold-natured. We're screwed on this one.
  7. Reduce laptop usage? Oh very funny.
  8. Steal gas from other vehicles: What, is your tank lower today than you thought? IT WASN'T ME!
  9. Practice frugal gardening by raiding construction trash piles for free stone/rock/boulders? You betcha. Read on.
My neighbor gave me two huge books on frugal gardening (gee, thanks for that, guess I was spending too much) and although there are some helpful hints, I would recommend them only if you are having a particularly bad bout of insomnia. I like to be frugal but some of that stuff....enough said.

Anyway, back to the frugal rock-stealing thing: There are a large number of new homes being built close to where I live and they are using stone for the siding and retaining walls. I was appalled as to what happens to the leftovers. Trash piles. Seriously. I couldn't believe it. Do you know how much that stuff costs? After the house is done and the workers have left, I give the builder some time to come get the extra rock. They rarely do. Then I dress like I'm entering a toxic waste facility and haul all the rock I can into my small SUV energy-efficient rock-hauling vehicle. Multiple times. Yep, I've got lots of nice rock at my place, my mom's place, and at my friend's house (yes, I only have 1 friend). Just kidding. I have at least 4 friends.

Hubby just rolls his eyes and is happy he only has to help with the rocks weighing 100 lbs or more. That's right. My prize is a whopping 250-pound boulder. Sorry, no picture. I just couldn't bring myself to include a photo of a big rock on my blog ;-)

Maybe I'll start selling decorative garden stone on craigslist. If you're into gardening and you need some nice stone, let me know. It will help if you live in North Texas ;-) I think the shipping charges would strip the frugal right out of it.

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Wanted: 12-step program

Oh, no. I can't believe I've become addicted to blogging. Is there a 12-step program to help my latest obsession? I know. I've only posted a few times but what can I say? I never thought I had that addictive personality but maybe after you pass 40, along with short-arm disease, parent-child role reversal, and CRS disease, other weird stuff starts happening to you. Or maybe it's a secret cry for attention or some kind of delusion that I can actually write something other than a requirements document (oops, sorry about that, just a throwback to my former life as a IT Analyst).

Yes, I've noticed the signs of too much time online around our household:
  • Cat seems thinner lately: Maybe forgot to feed it so it has to fend for itself stalking kittens.

  • Hubby not thinner lately: Poor thing must be resorting to junk food, wife too busy surfing for funny blogs.
  • Hubby's wardrobe seems neglected; shirts wrinkled, clothes smell funny: Laundry and pressing.... SAY WHAT? GO AWAY. GEEK TYPING HERE!
  • What's that throbbing in my eyes and that hunched over forward movement in my upper body? Why am I squinting? I was starting to feel so much better before this setback!
  • Why are the squirrels chasing me again? Oh yeah. Your water bowls (birdbaths) are dry. Sorry guys.
  • Hubby has replaced endearing terms such as "Hon" or "Sweetheart" with "Miss Blogs-A-Lot": Hum....sounds jealous and who wears the geek pants around here anyway?

Whew! I feel better now. Thanks for listening.

I realize that I probably won't be able to post as often as I want. I have this strange aversion to lack of sleep. I really do occasionally have to work. I've got vacation coming up and I'm anxiously awaiting the fall season on television. Well, to be honest, I'm ready for Heroes to come back. I think I have to wait awhile for Lost and 24.

Friday, September 5, 2008

Run for it!

I'm training to run a half marathon. Yes, I know that's 13.1 miles and I know that I'm crazy. People ask me why I run. It's because of days like this. Here's the story:

My race is in November so I've had to run a lot during the hot summer months. Some days it's a chore. We've had days this summer when I thought seriously about frying an egg on the sidewalk. When I start to think of how hard is is to run some days, I tell myself the following three things to get my house in order:
  1. You woke up this morning. You get another chance!
  2. Yep. All limbs in working order and and you're breathing. Good news. Now get those running shorts on (and put a top on while you're at it).
  3. You are capable of thought and logic. That's right, you're smarter than your cat (sometimes) and on most days you have a clue. So get yourself organized and go for it.

Sidebar: I was told recently that humility is not one of my strengths.....hum.....thanks for that.

Back to the story: Exercise is a privilege so get out there and enjoy.

Today was my day to go to a local park and log a longer distance (about 8 miles today). The park is a linear park with fewer hills than my neighborhood routes. I couldn't have asked for a better day. I hopped in my car and drove the short distance to the park. I know I could have reduced my carbon footprint by walking but there are no sidewalks and I didn't want to be run over by soccer moms in SUVS headed home to blog. ;-) One of the great things about this park is the scenery. It's not just the different kinds of native plants (Texas, of course), the meadow primed for wildflowers, longhorn cattle chowing down and pooping, cute little squirrels and lizards, but it's all kinds of people in all walks of life. Today, the place was packed. I got the last parking spot. As a fitness professional, I'm proud. What a problem to have!

Anyway, the people: cute little kids with mom and/or dad, older folks walking fast, older folks walking slow, speedy middle-age bicyclists, moms running with strollers, moms running from their kids, kids chasing squirrels in a circle around a tree, and cute pets pooping on the sidewalk. BTW, that smell almost led to puking on mile #8.

So I had entertainment today. It makes the time go by much faster and I couldn't have asked for better weather. It was one of those few days where the air is clear and the humidity is low and the temperature was in the lower 70's. We don't get that much around here. My endorphins were truly at a high. That's the thrill of running. I will also admit that it lets me have a few little drinkies periodically and allows for my sweet tooth and the corresponding addiction to baking.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Get a Life!

As the description of my blog indicates, I am not currently employed in the corporate world. I work part-time and usually keep fairly busy working on home projects, gardening, digging thru construction trash piles (more on that in another post), managing the cat, cooking dinner for the family, baking, surfing the web, partying with the girlfriends, watching the grass grow, re-arranging my sock drawer (8 times now!) and managing all of my boyfriends (the scheduling can be quite demanding). Seriously, (I am kidding about the boyfriends) sometimes it's a little dull and I have to watch out for a few things. If you find yourself in my situation, beware of the following:

  1. Good-hearted friends and family will find stuff for you to do. This list just keeps growing. After all, you're not working, no problem, right? NOT!
  2. Attack of the evil shopping gene. Ladies (and some of you Gents), I know it's hard but stay out of the malls and strip shopping centers. You don't need clothes for the corporate world right now and your house is full of furniture! Beware the ice cream store with all the yummy flavors. NO! NO! NO! YOU MUST STAY AWAY FROM THIS KIND OF EVIL!
  3. Resist the urge to raise the cleaning standard of your home. Hubby started to notice that the baseboards are clean.....uh oh.
  4. Sign-up for continuing education classes that will give you homework. Oh, please. Why did I do this? There's a reason I didn't go back for that MBA.
  5. Going to Wall-mart starts to sound interesting and fun. Ok. If I ever get this far gone, I'm checking myself into the funny farm.
  6. The family budget starts to rear its ugly head. Hum..........................Simple math: Money-Out <= Money-In.
  7. You are assimilating (resistance is futile) into the nosy neighbor that you complain about.
  8. You talk to the animals while working in the yard. No, not your cat but the squirrels and other critters that keep you company while you work. Yes, even the lizards. And, no, they don't answer usually answer back.

Something I planted that hasn't died yet:

I hope the crazy things I listed above are not really happening to me and on a positive note, some of the great things about an extended hiatus:
  1. Long lunches with friends
  2. Happy Hours I can actually go to
  3. More time for fitness and training for races
  4. More family time
  5. Less stressful vacations (not thinking about the office while you're away)
  6. Getting enough sleep
  7. Eating less junk food
  8. Yard gets mowed more often
  9. Yard starts to look more like a garden instead of a pile of weeds
  10. Neighbors starting to speak to you again (see #8 and #9)
  11. You actually visit with your neighbors

Anybody have anything to add?

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Be my favorite student!

I teach group fitness classes and thru the years I've seen some really weird behavior in the classes. I currently teach yoga but I've taught my share of step/cycling/aerobics classes in the past. Unless you want to be a topic at the next Fitness Instructor Happy Hour, avoid the following:

  1. Competition for Position - This person sets up camp in the same place during each class. This is usually OK. Obviously this person likes the spot for some reason. But this can become a problem if they are challenged by a newcomer for the "spot". Girl fighting may commence.
  2. Puddles (not a dog's name, folks) I know. You guys can really sweat and some of you ladies can too. Bring a towel and wipe it up before somebody slips and falls. I don't want to practice my First-Aid or CPR skills. If you used equipment, please wipe it off. Last but not least, deodorant and clean clothes (at least to start) will make class a little more fun for all of us.
  3. Stare-Off - This is the participant that sets up directly in front of the instructor. Each time the instructor looks up, there they are. OK, I'm not scared up there anymore but this can be really nerve-racking and makes it harder for me to see anyone else......hum....maybe that's the point.
  4. Look at My Hot Bod! - For the ladies, real, fake, whatever. I don't need to see their outline in that tight-fitting top or popping out of whatever you thought was appropriate attire today. And, guys, loose-fitting shorts in yoga...commando..need I say more? And guys, contrary to popular belief, tight thin bike shorts outlining your anatomy do not turn me on.
  5. Independent Thinker - Hey, this is usually a good thing but in step class with the instructor giving direction, showing off your own moves can be very distracting, especially when you fall doing that reverse-turn-hop-straddle thing ;-).
  6. Leave it at the door - Your phones, pagers, and other technology that can make cute little noises during class. Even worse if you answer the damn thing.
I'm sure we've all been guilty of weird behavior at one time or another and if you see yourself as one these characters, roll your eyes and have a little laugh at yourself. If you don't, I will.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Waste Management 101

Today, you may want to call me the Trash Can Police. The city where I live has decided to join many other local cities in the D/FW area and go with the 95-gallon and 65-gallon trash and recycle bins that can be picked up by the trash trucks without a person having to get out/off the truck and do real work. I'm told that soon the trucks will be operated by remote-control. I'm kidding but it wouldn't surprise me. I guess the city thinks that this uniformity of trash bins will kick them up a notch in the suburban rankings. Actually, the only increase is probably the one in my waste management bill.

Anyway, we are obviously novices at the art of waste management with these new bins. As I'm happily jogging along in my neighborhood I noticed various definitions of "place bins 2 feet from the street with the lid facing the street". I think most people got the proper lid-facing direction (considering there are arrows on the lids) but 2 feet from the street was all over the place (primarily in the street). And one neighbor had 20 feet between the trash and recycle bins. What, are they allergic to each other, can't be trusted to not fight while waiting, or might have sex during the wait? OMG!

So back to the "2 feet" issue. Hubby and I actually had a pointed discussion about the definition of "street" last night when he placed our brand-spanking new bin at the street. Later, I secretly moved it back "2 feet from the white line" which is my definition of the street. You have to realize that we don't have curbs out here in the "country" so the street kind of starts well....
wherever. And we can only hope that we got the correct waste in the correct bin. NO. I DIDN'T CHECK THAT AS I RAN BY!

I was very pleased too see these cute bins all lined up and ready for the wrecking trucks.....oops, I mean waste management vehicles. I can only imagine what they will look like after the trucks finish with them. I think the requirement should be that the bins are replaced, undamaged, in the same footprint after emptying, lids closed. I know. That's anal and it's way too much to ask.

Later: You are not going to believe this but 2 weeks in a row, my bins have been replaced in the exact footprint. Bloody Amazing!

"1.00s, 1.50s, 1.75s for the short arms. If you know what I'm talking about, you're probably old, too."

"Boomer brain fog: What was the last, middle, and first part of what you just said to me?"