Monday, June 28, 2010

We Be Lookin' Good!

My 30-year high school reunion started with a mixer on Friday evening.  Hubby and I decided not to attend but to save our livers energy for the Saturday evening event.  When we gathered for Saturday's event, we heard that the group had a great time visiting but the "after party" at a local alumni's mansion ("rich girl") was the highlight of the evening. 

Evil Twin's ears perked up when she heard about the mansion.  She was sure that they were playing with steak knives, mower blades, and chainsaws, but I explained that it was most likely an open liquor cabinet that contributed to the success of that event.

Saturday morning, a few brave souls played a round of golf....or something that slightly resembled golf.  Hubby and I slept late, had a leisurely breakfast, and before I knew it, Hubby had his car up on blocks ramps and was examining his oil plug.

That sounded crazy to me so I mowed the lawn and went for a bike ride in the 100 degree heat.

The main event was Saturday evening.   For many folks, the biggest challenge of the evening was how quickly they could part with their drink tickets or being able to con other alumni out of theirs.

We also had dinner and there was a slide show playing all evening.  Someone had taken pages from the annual and scanned them to make a presentation.  I'm thinking it's earth-friendly.  It can be resued at every reunion although they will have to update the "no longer with us" section as time passes.


Later, they had the proverbial "who has" awards:


...traveled the longest distance to attend the reunion:  Seattle to D/FW
....the most kids:  5
...the oldest child:  29
...the youngest child:  8 weeks !!!!!!
....had a sex change:  ____
...came out of the closet:  a friend of mine

Ha!  No, there wasn't a question about a sex change but a friend is definitely out of the closet.  She's happy and confident in her relationship with another woman.  I'm happy for her.

Several Black Jack tables were available to learn the game or hone your skills.  Hubby thinks they were there for the spouses to have something to do.  He's probably right.  I played a little.  I was doing well and then starting losing.  I was glad it wasn't for real.

Being a spouse at one of these things is just a step or two above incredibly dull.  Hubby did great.  He wasn't a wallflower and was cheerful hanging around with me while we talked to different folks.

I went to the 10-year reunion and it was completely different.  It was a much larger group. Everyone seemed to visit with only the people they knew well from school.  With over 500 graduates I guess that makes some sense.     They had a 20-year reunion but I didn't know about it at the time.  I heard it wasn't well attended.

We only had about 50 classmates at this 30-year reunion.  It was much more relaxing.  Everyone talked to everyone else and seemed to have a great time.

In my opinion, we looked awesome.  I don't think any of us have "been under the knife" for a few little fixes or enhancements.    There was this one lady, though, a spouse of a classmate.  Her boobs entered the room before she did.  They were obviously enhanced.  There was no doubt with her low-cut tank top.  She was also very tall and leggy.  She didn't seem to mind standing out in the crowd, proud of her husband's expenditures.

The guys all seemed taller.  Seriously, I think they grew a couple of inches after they turned 18. 

A photographer was hired to take candid photos and a group photo.  He staged the group photo outside and then he backed up and stepped up on a chair to take the picture.   The chair was wobbly and tilted back on three legs.  Evil Twin got excited again.  She kept trying to leave the group to "help" the photographer fall over the fence behind him.


Fortunately or not, the photos were taken without incident.

I cleverly managed to avoid being in candid photographs taken by classmates and my camera stayed in my purse while I worked the room moving my pie hole.  I will most likely be purchasing the photos from the photographer.  When I get those, I will post them.


Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Stick It!

O Stick,  troublesome Stick.  You stand tall in our soil-challenged ditch.  You are ugly.  There is no easy way to tell you that. 

You bestow your pink ribbon in pieces all over our yard and you are an obstruction for sun-baked homeowners trying to mow without mishap.

Maybe I am judging you too harshly. Perhaps you are just a marker; target practice for our gun-toting neighbors,  a place where digging may bring gold or other precious metals, or the actual burial place of Jimmy Hoffa.

You have had some shining moments. You broadcast the wind direction with great ease.  You are an ice-breaker for conversations with the neighbors.

You must be something special. Strange pickup trucks deposit round-bellied workers with low-riding jeans to honor your presence.

But Stick, I tire of you.  You are on your last days as a yard ornament.


Photo credit:  Reffie's ditch, surveyor stick that has been in place for about six weeks:  Reffie

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Water Giveth and Water Taketh

This week in Geekville:

Early one morning, I saw a skinny coyote strutting across our yard like he owned the place.  I've been given advice on how to shoot the creature since we know he tends to feast on small animals.

We aren't sure he got Cat but it's possible.  I don't have a rifle so I've been letting Evil Twin practice with a slingshot.


Maybe that wasn't such a good idea.  My butt's going to hurt for a week.

I made the decision to attend my class reunion next weekend.  Yes, blog fodder awaits.

Triple digits temps are upon us.  The good news is that the mowing frequency is decreasing.  The bad news is the mowing frequency is decreasing.  The best we can hope for is that our grass can remain somewhat green and our plants are tough enough to survive.   I have a conversation with them each day, telling them how pretty they are and encouraging them to stop slumping. 

Hubby and I are pouring ourselves cold beverages and turning down the A/C.  Some folks are hopping in their cars or trucks in search of the nearest pool or lake.

Taking a boat out on the lake is popular on the weekends and holidays. I don't know how many man-made lakes Texas has but I think I will run out of fingers, toes, ear holes and other holes before I count them all.  Wait.  Get Evil Twin over here.  She has 13 toes and a few extra holes in her body from encounters with zombies and aliens.  That should help me with my tallies.

I don't understand, though, the number of drownings that happen at the lakes each season.  Often, alcohol is involved but what I'm hearing is "the deceased jumped off the boat and didn't resurface and was not wearing a life jacket".'s usually a good idea to know how to swim if you are jumping off your boat in the middle of the lake.   

Did they hit their head?  Did they have a heart attack?  Snakes in the water? Maybe there really is a people-eating monster in the lake?   


Finally, I'd like to wish all of you dads and father-figures out there a Happy Father's Day.  Enjoy your day and be careful around the water.  You never know what might be waiting for you:

Photo credits:  Blurry coyote across the street yapping when he hears sirens:  Reffie, Alligator sign: A friend posted this on Facebook.  I stole it.  

Monday, June 14, 2010

Big Texans and Wild Horses Should Have Kept Me Away

I was reading an article in the paper about a Texas woman who was told by an airline that she had to buy two seats because she was too big to fit in a single seat.    She said she was surprised and embarrassed by this situation and said something similar to "People are bigger in Texas".


Just because she is from Texas and she is big, she thinks everyone from Texas is big?  This woman obviously needs to get out more.  Yes, I see BIG PEOPLE here in Texas but I sure see a lot of BARBIE STICKS, too.


Ah, for the smell of freshly watered brown grass...

According to the calendar, it's still spring.   It's supposed to rain in spring.   Mother Nature is obviously confused.  Yes, I truly believe she is going through the THE more ways than one.

I do have a rose bush that is still green and hasn't caught on that it's too hot to bloom:

She's a beauty and she knows it.

Also, since my real cat has not come back, I'm having to make do with this beast:

About all he's good for is pushing up mean Blue Daze!

Yes, he's cracked.  Although he has made it through winters before, I don't think he cared for this last one, with the 12-inch snow event in February.

I had my running legs handed back to me on a platter yesterday.  I ran a half marathon on concrete trails in heat/high humidity.  I can tell you that there is no flavor of humble pie that I like.  The only saving grace was the scenery.  We had some nice green stuff to look at, like trees and park grass that is over-watered daily.  There were a few small lakes and a polo field (!!) but then there there was this sculpture at the finish line:

Over-sized wild mustangs.  Cool.  I wished I had been riding one instead of running that race straight out of the Hades.

Photo credits: Ruby Red and Dazed Cat: Reffie, Las Colinas Mustang Sculpture: armstrks on, Creative Commons license (see sidebar).

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Too Quiet on the Western Front

The talking weather torsos are calling for some noise later.  I'll believe it when I see it.

I introduced you to Mrs Kravitz in my last post.   I fear I have become Mrs. Kravitz.  Well, not exactly, as she's in black and white and I'm in color but I when I'm home I find myself walking to the window and admiring the view.

To those on the outside, I may look like a nosy neighbor, craving excitement from behind the mullions.

Why am I gazing outside?

I like the little birdies and my fat squirrel that soak themselves in the birdbath.  The squirrel camped out there one hot afternoon, resting on the wet spot waiting for me to refill the bath.  The birds fight over their turn in the water.  Silly things.

I'm also hopeful that Cat, that crazy hair-throwing beastard, will come back.  He's been missing since Monday morning when he didn't appear to be let inside.  Clumps of fur were in the front yard but I can't locate the rest of him. 

Although we know there are coyotes around,  our cat has always managed to hide from them.  We also have owls.  YEE-OUCH!  It would take a rather large owl to haul off my 15-pound beast, though.

He has "left" before only to return a few days later, ready to eat and take a long nap.

Sigh.  Sometimes there isn't much "domestic" in this cat.

I certainly don't sit around all day staring outside.  I sometimes do it from an upright position.

Seriously, I'm in a bit of a holding pattern.  My mom has had some additional issues that need to be cleared up before she can have her shoulder surgery so I have not made any additional summer plans outside of my normal teaching schedule (my Yoga and Pilates classes).

I had to contain Evil Twin yesterday. 

Doesn't it annoy you when you need something and the person you asked responds with a forced smile and a mouthful of brush-off instructions when all they had to do was spend one minute getting you what you need?  Sometimes people make it obvious that you aren't worth their time.  I felt like the splashed dirt at the bottom of the totem pole. 

I smiled, said "thank you" and walked away.   I came back later, asked someone else, got what I needed and was gone in 30 seconds.

Unfortunately, I can look back and see myself behaving that way.  Sheesh.  Payback is a bee-otch!

Oh, who am I kidding?  I'm perfect, right?

Happy Hump Day!  Do a rain dance for me, please.

Sunday, June 6, 2010

It's a Bird, It's a Plane, It's.....

...just a car.

It doesn't even fly, unlike the drunk driver at D/FW airport earlier in the week.  This driver claims she was hit from behind causing her vehicle to become airborne near one of the toll booths.   Her "flying car" caused a bit of damage when she landed.  Car pieces and parts were scattered all around the toll booth area.  It was quite a story.  The video is probably on youtube and I'm sure it made for lively discussions at water coolers, coffee bars, and happy or unhappy hours throughout the day.  Fortunately or not, the intoxicated driver got out of it with only a broken wrist......and a trip to jail.

No, it wasn't a flying car that caused excitement in our neighborhood a few days ago...

My neighbors are primarily retired folks.  This is actually quite nice as when they aren't traveling, they are home keeping an eye on things,  anything from the state of your yard, to your beast disguised as a pet, to strange cars parked outside someone's home after dark.

My next door neighbor is out of town.  I received a call from another neighbor now known as "Mrs. Kravitz" asking me about a mysterious car parked in front of our mutual neighbor's house.  She asks if we were having company.  Nope.  Not us.  We were hunkered down inside with the A/C blasting watching our local baseball team attempt to run around the bases more times than their opponents.

"Mrs. Kravitz" called the police.

A police officer arrived to check things out.  The officer peeked in the backseat of this car and found......AMMUNITION.   


I was hoping for a body or a couple having a good time or something.  Sheesh.

Ammunition.  Yippee. This seems to fit with the characters up the street that decided it was OK to take target practice in their backyard a couple of months ago.  The neighbors and police thought otherwise and two of the occupants of this residence were taken to the slammer on outstanding warrants.

Anyway, back to the non-flying car story.  After the police officer left, the mysterious car disappeared.  Just like that. 

Maybe it was the aliens.  I will check with Evil Twin as I heard her attempting to contact them again the other night.

 Oops. I think I need to have a chat with my headmate. 

Photo credits: Mrs. Kravitz - swiped from Tipper Gore's Internet, Ammo Guy - Cszar on, Creative Commons license (see sidebar).

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Cover Me Not

Yesterday, while scanning through a few pages of Facebook status updates and photos, I noticed my closest largest city had posted something about an upcoming event:
It’s bathing suit season, but the gym routine is wearing on us. We’re taking advantage of naturist-led hikes at the Fort Worth Nature Center Camp & Refuge to get in shape. Care to join? 
 Well, now......hum....
Yes, it's hot here folks but I don't want to have to apply sunscreen to sensitive areas so I can jiggle stuff that nobody really wants to see.
"Nekid" people hiking in the woods.  Just think of all the places you could get a mosquito bite.....or a tick?  Beware. The rattlesnakes might aim for the jiggly bits.  

Um, no.  I'm not going even though I'm fairly certain they meant NATURALIST!
Speaking of hail-damaged butts, jiggling pieces and parts, and swinging boobs that could choke their owner, I did a quick Google search for nekid-people resorts in Texas.  
My humblest apologies but I bet you can't resist taking a quick peek.
Oh, my, my.  
It's one thing to go to a resort and be naked.  It's another to have your naked self as part of the photo gallery.
But what really got my attention was the Christian Nudists meetings.  Hum.... I don't think Jesus preached in his birthday suit.

"1.00s, 1.50s, 1.75s for the short arms. If you know what I'm talking about, you're probably old, too."

"Boomer brain fog: What was the last, middle, and first part of what you just said to me?"