Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Cover Me Not

Yesterday, while scanning through a few pages of Facebook status updates and photos, I noticed my closest largest city had posted something about an upcoming event:
It’s bathing suit season, but the gym routine is wearing on us. We’re taking advantage of naturist-led hikes at the Fort Worth Nature Center Camp & Refuge to get in shape. Care to join? 
 Well, now......hum....
Yes, it's hot here folks but I don't want to have to apply sunscreen to sensitive areas so I can jiggle stuff that nobody really wants to see.
"Nekid" people hiking in the woods.  Just think of all the places you could get a mosquito bite.....or a tick?  Beware. The rattlesnakes might aim for the jiggly bits.  
OUCH!

Um, no.  I'm not going even though I'm fairly certain they meant NATURALIST!
Speaking of hail-damaged butts, jiggling pieces and parts, and swinging boobs that could choke their owner, I did a quick Google search for nekid-people resorts in Texas.  
My humblest apologies but I bet you can't resist taking a quick peek.
Oh, my, my.  
They have a photo gallery!  WARNING!  WARNING!  DANGER TO YOUR EYES WILL ROBINSON!  DANGER!  DANGER!  
It's one thing to go to a resort and be naked.  It's another to have your naked self as part of the photo gallery.
Weird.
But what really got my attention was the Christian Nudists meetings.  Hum.... I don't think Jesus preached in his birthday suit.
Whatever.

33 comments:

00dozo said...

Heh heh. Hiking in the nude? Not on my dance card, but I'd warn the men that some of those snakes may seek out potential mates.

Mrsblogalot said...

Oh no... I barely want to have sex naked let alone a public activity.

That just takes pooping in the forrest to a whole nutha level!

Quirkyloon said...

I didn't peek.

I'm too scared.

And you made me snort with your places a tick could find.

hee hee

*snort*

AmyLK said...

Oh my! I wanted to peak but since I'm at work, I don't think its such a good idea! But thanks for sharing.

Random Chick said...

Okay, answer me this: why are older and heavier people always the ones who want to go nekkid? Why can't people like Brad Pitt, Ryan Reynolds, or George Clooney ever go on nudist hikes???

I clicked. I saw. I'm sick.

Ziva said...

Naked people in the woods? This is better than Lost!

Zyada said...

So I guess you aren't going to do the "20th Annual Bare As You Dare Cross-Country 5K"?

ReformingGeek said...

@00dozo - YIKES! Snakes on the plain.

@MrsBlogalot - Oh ew. Where would folks stash the toilet paper until they needed to use it?

@Quirky - Happy Ticking!

@AmyLK - It's definitely NOT for the workplace.

@Chickie - I'm sorry you are ill. It nearly ruined my lunch. Yeah, Will Smith, they are not.

@Ziva - It's definitely more scary.

@Zyada - Ha! No thanks; and I don't want to see the photos!

Laura E. Sanchez-Gonzalez said...

it would be extremely embarrassing, painful and horrible to get a mosquito bite in one of those sensitive areas, i cannot even think about it, from now on, if I go hiking, it is fully dress.

Thoughts of a Career Woman

Deb said...

I checked out your link to the naturist site for research purposes only. SHUT UP!

Then I saw the photo gallery and boy did I feel good 'cause judging by all that flesh, I am freakin' Heidi Klum they are Jumbo the Elephant.

ReformingGeek said...

@Laura - Yes, clothing does amazing things for us!

@Deb - It was quite...er....natural, wasn't it? You're right, though, what a way to feel better about one's own body!

meleah rebeccah said...

""Nekid" people hiking in the woods. "

Um. Hello, I'd hate to be someone who gets Poison Ivy on certain 'special' areas!

Im too scared to click!

Bee said...

BWAHAHAHAHAAA!

A naked christian group just seems like an oxymoron.

The Empress said...

How can you be naked AND christian and hiking in the woods???

ReformingGeek said...

@meleah - That would be miserable!

@Bee - LOL

@Empress - Maybe they just sit around the fire. Afterall, it might be a bit chilly without clothes.

G.~ said...

Too funny! I didn't peek. I don't want to damage my eyeballs.

I'm not sure what would be scarier to see in the woods, nekkid people with swinging, jiggly parts or snakes and insects as big as my jiggly parts.

Hmmm.

Leeuna said...

Hiking nekkid? That's scary, not to mention impractical...I mean think of the squirrels foraging for nuts... And I didn't peek either. I was too scared. :)

Unfinished Rambler said...

I'm not clicking. I'm not clicking...

...well, at least, not right now. Later the temptation will overcome me and I won't be able to resist, but for now...

...I'm not clicking. I'm not clicking.

The Old Silly said...

Erm, but what about mosquitos? Itchy bite spots on the scrotum? Uh uh, no way. Not letting it hang out like that, can't roll like that.

LOL, and nudist Christians, hmm? Well, Jesus MIGHT approve, after all, we were all naked before the fall, but ... dunno, gotta look that one up in the Word.

ReformingGeek said...

@G~. - Saving your eyeballs was the right thing to do!

@Leeuna - Anything with claws and teeth would be disconcerting...

@Unfinished - Eyeballs be damned. You should click.

@Marvin - Protection from the elements is enough reason for me to wear clothes.

Jacki said...

I am glad to see that they use towels to cover whatever they are sitting on! Seeing some of those pictures makes me realize I don't look half-bad naked!

Jean Knee said...

YOWSA! none of those people should ever be naked. Not even alone in the dark

Katherine said...

Oh I would SO NOT WANT TO FOLLOW SOMEONE UP A HILL! Or have anyone follow ME for that matter... TOO FUNNY!

ReformingGeek said...

@Jacki - Yeah. I noticed that and the "cook" was covered. I can imagine what hot grease would feel like down there.

@Jean - Agreed.

@Katherine - That's right. I'm not a fan of uncovered jiggly butts. There was this girl running in front of me in a boot camp class one time and she had on some shorts but nothing underneath to provide any support. Her buns plopped out all over the place. Ew.

K A B L O O E Y said...

Chafing. I'm just saying...

honeypiehorse said...

Oh, my eyes! Texans and Christians are bad enough in clothes!!!

ReformingGeek said...

@Kablooey - Double EW.

@honeypie - LOL. Welcome to the Bible Belt.

Marissa said...

If those snakes hang on to the jiggly bits, just shimmy and pretend they're tassels.

Christian nudists - LOL!

Lindzena said...

HA HA HA. Hiking naked. Disturbingly ingenious idea. Especially at night. If you go with a bunch of Caucasian people on a night with a bright clear moon you wouldn't need flashlights at all. Reflection would take care of that.

ReformingGeek said...

@Marissa - Tassles. LOL!

@Lindzena - They would need sunglasses at night. ;-)

mama-face said...

Mrs Blogalot's comment--hahahahaha.

I love so much that you googled that. You should be getting some great ads on your g-mail now. :)

Vodka and Ground Beef said...

I peeked and now I feel dirty and ashamed. As a writer, I feel it's your duty to go to this thing next time it's advertised. Anything and everything for a story.

MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings said...

I once worked with a woman who loved to hike around Colorado's mountains naked with her boyfriend. I don't know whether they were Christians, but I hear he used to rise once in while.


"1.00s, 1.50s, 1.75s for the short arms. If you know what I'm talking about, you're probably old, too."

"Boomer brain fog: What was the last, middle, and first part of what you just said to me?"