Yesterday, while scanning through a few pages of Facebook status updates and photos, I noticed my closest largest city had posted something about an upcoming event:
It’s bathing suit season, but the gym routine is wearing on us. We’re taking advantage of naturist-led hikes at the Fort Worth Nature Center Camp & Refuge to get in shape. Care to join?
Well, now......hum....
Yes, it's hot here folks but I don't want to have to apply sunscreen to sensitive areas so I can jiggle stuff that nobody really wants to see.
"Nekid" people hiking in the woods. Just think of all the places you could get a mosquito bite.....or a tick? Beware. The rattlesnakes might aim for the jiggly bits.
OUCH!
Um, no. I'm not going even though I'm fairly certain they meant NATURALIST!
Speaking of hail-damaged butts, jiggling pieces and parts, and swinging boobs that could choke their owner, I did a quick Google search for nekid-people resorts in Texas.
My humblest apologies but I bet you can't resist taking a quick peek.
Oh, my, my.
They have a photo gallery! WARNING! WARNING! DANGER TO YOUR EYES WILL ROBINSON! DANGER! DANGER!
It's one thing to go to a resort and be naked. It's another to have your naked self as part of the photo gallery.
Weird.
But what really got my attention was the Christian Nudists meetings. Hum.... I don't think Jesus preached in his birthday suit.
Okay, answer me this: why are older and heavier people always the ones who want to go nekkid? Why can't people like Brad Pitt, Ryan Reynolds, or George Clooney ever go on nudist hikes???
it would be extremely embarrassing, painful and horrible to get a mosquito bite in one of those sensitive areas, i cannot even think about it, from now on, if I go hiking, it is fully dress.
Hiking nekkid? That's scary, not to mention impractical...I mean think of the squirrels foraging for nuts... And I didn't peek either. I was too scared. :)
Erm, but what about mosquitos? Itchy bite spots on the scrotum? Uh uh, no way. Not letting it hang out like that, can't roll like that.
LOL, and nudist Christians, hmm? Well, Jesus MIGHT approve, after all, we were all naked before the fall, but ... dunno, gotta look that one up in the Word.
I am glad to see that they use towels to cover whatever they are sitting on! Seeing some of those pictures makes me realize I don't look half-bad naked!
@Jacki - Yeah. I noticed that and the "cook" was covered. I can imagine what hot grease would feel like down there.
@Jean - Agreed.
@Katherine - That's right. I'm not a fan of uncovered jiggly butts. There was this girl running in front of me in a boot camp class one time and she had on some shorts but nothing underneath to provide any support. Her buns plopped out all over the place. Ew.
HA HA HA. Hiking naked. Disturbingly ingenious idea. Especially at night. If you go with a bunch of Caucasian people on a night with a bright clear moon you wouldn't need flashlights at all. Reflection would take care of that.
I peeked and now I feel dirty and ashamed. As a writer, I feel it's your duty to go to this thing next time it's advertised. Anything and everything for a story.
I once worked with a woman who loved to hike around Colorado's mountains naked with her boyfriend. I don't know whether they were Christians, but I hear he used to rise once in while.
I'm a southern girl barely a baby-boomer who likes to find humor in most situations. I've usually got a smile on my face (except when I'm running) and I like to have fun.
On a long hiatus from the corporate world, my perspective on life is changing.
I surprised myself and a few others by creating this blog. I write about whatever pops into my head or my life and inject my own twisted humor into the stories. I've enjoyed learning and I'm having fun. I hope you are too.
33 comments:
Heh heh. Hiking in the nude? Not on my dance card, but I'd warn the men that some of those snakes may seek out potential mates.
Oh no... I barely want to have sex naked let alone a public activity.
That just takes pooping in the forrest to a whole nutha level!
I didn't peek.
I'm too scared.
And you made me snort with your places a tick could find.
hee hee
*snort*
Oh my! I wanted to peak but since I'm at work, I don't think its such a good idea! But thanks for sharing.
Okay, answer me this: why are older and heavier people always the ones who want to go nekkid? Why can't people like Brad Pitt, Ryan Reynolds, or George Clooney ever go on nudist hikes???
I clicked. I saw. I'm sick.
Naked people in the woods? This is better than Lost!
So I guess you aren't going to do the "20th Annual Bare As You Dare Cross-Country 5K"?
@00dozo - YIKES! Snakes on the plain.
@MrsBlogalot - Oh ew. Where would folks stash the toilet paper until they needed to use it?
@Quirky - Happy Ticking!
@AmyLK - It's definitely NOT for the workplace.
@Chickie - I'm sorry you are ill. It nearly ruined my lunch. Yeah, Will Smith, they are not.
@Ziva - It's definitely more scary.
@Zyada - Ha! No thanks; and I don't want to see the photos!
it would be extremely embarrassing, painful and horrible to get a mosquito bite in one of those sensitive areas, i cannot even think about it, from now on, if I go hiking, it is fully dress.
Thoughts of a Career Woman
I checked out your link to the naturist site for research purposes only. SHUT UP!
Then I saw the photo gallery and boy did I feel good 'cause judging by all that flesh, I am freakin' Heidi Klum they are Jumbo the Elephant.
@Laura - Yes, clothing does amazing things for us!
@Deb - It was quite...er....natural, wasn't it? You're right, though, what a way to feel better about one's own body!
""Nekid" people hiking in the woods. "
Um. Hello, I'd hate to be someone who gets Poison Ivy on certain 'special' areas!
Im too scared to click!
BWAHAHAHAHAAA!
A naked christian group just seems like an oxymoron.
How can you be naked AND christian and hiking in the woods???
@meleah - That would be miserable!
@Bee - LOL
@Empress - Maybe they just sit around the fire. Afterall, it might be a bit chilly without clothes.
Too funny! I didn't peek. I don't want to damage my eyeballs.
I'm not sure what would be scarier to see in the woods, nekkid people with swinging, jiggly parts or snakes and insects as big as my jiggly parts.
Hmmm.
Hiking nekkid? That's scary, not to mention impractical...I mean think of the squirrels foraging for nuts... And I didn't peek either. I was too scared. :)
I'm not clicking. I'm not clicking...
...well, at least, not right now. Later the temptation will overcome me and I won't be able to resist, but for now...
...I'm not clicking. I'm not clicking.
Erm, but what about mosquitos? Itchy bite spots on the scrotum? Uh uh, no way. Not letting it hang out like that, can't roll like that.
LOL, and nudist Christians, hmm? Well, Jesus MIGHT approve, after all, we were all naked before the fall, but ... dunno, gotta look that one up in the Word.
@G~. - Saving your eyeballs was the right thing to do!
@Leeuna - Anything with claws and teeth would be disconcerting...
@Unfinished - Eyeballs be damned. You should click.
@Marvin - Protection from the elements is enough reason for me to wear clothes.
I am glad to see that they use towels to cover whatever they are sitting on! Seeing some of those pictures makes me realize I don't look half-bad naked!
YOWSA! none of those people should ever be naked. Not even alone in the dark
Oh I would SO NOT WANT TO FOLLOW SOMEONE UP A HILL! Or have anyone follow ME for that matter... TOO FUNNY!
@Jacki - Yeah. I noticed that and the "cook" was covered. I can imagine what hot grease would feel like down there.
@Jean - Agreed.
@Katherine - That's right. I'm not a fan of uncovered jiggly butts. There was this girl running in front of me in a boot camp class one time and she had on some shorts but nothing underneath to provide any support. Her buns plopped out all over the place. Ew.
Chafing. I'm just saying...
Oh, my eyes! Texans and Christians are bad enough in clothes!!!
@Kablooey - Double EW.
@honeypie - LOL. Welcome to the Bible Belt.
If those snakes hang on to the jiggly bits, just shimmy and pretend they're tassels.
Christian nudists - LOL!
HA HA HA. Hiking naked. Disturbingly ingenious idea. Especially at night. If you go with a bunch of Caucasian people on a night with a bright clear moon you wouldn't need flashlights at all. Reflection would take care of that.
@Marissa - Tassles. LOL!
@Lindzena - They would need sunglasses at night. ;-)
Mrs Blogalot's comment--hahahahaha.
I love so much that you googled that. You should be getting some great ads on your g-mail now. :)
I peeked and now I feel dirty and ashamed. As a writer, I feel it's your duty to go to this thing next time it's advertised. Anything and everything for a story.
I once worked with a woman who loved to hike around Colorado's mountains naked with her boyfriend. I don't know whether they were Christians, but I hear he used to rise once in while.
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