Sunday, February 28, 2010

Race Day, Slippers, and Slips

Thanks for the all the positive vibes and well wishes for my half marathon Saturday.  I had a great race....considering.  I felt good all the way although I was getting very tired on the last hill, a hill I never notice when I'm driving my car.   I finished one minute faster than my time last year.  I'm thrilled!

I almost didn't make it to the race.  Friday evening, as I was being a good little racing geek and preparing for bed around 10:00 PM,  I got a call from the Cajun state to the east where my mom was spending the week at a casino.  

Mom was in the Emergency Room (ER).    Evil Twin cheered. I slapped her silly and waited to hear what the ER nurse had to say.  

My poor mom collided with unforgiving concrete when a parking lot snake (in the form of a speed bump hump) reached up and grabbed her foot as she was hurrying to her car in the rain.  She couldn't catch herself and ended up with a goose egg on her forehead, a broken nose, and a very sore shoulder.  Her right eye was swollen shut for awhile and she has limited sight in that eye at this point.   She had no sight in the eye immediately after the accident.

Evil Twin was again rejoicing, this time at my poor mom's attempt to look like a raccoon.  Evil Twin was fed to the Lochness Monster in the Red River in Shreveport.  

Um.....wait.  Isn't Lochness in Scotland?

Oh well.

Mom is very sore all over.  Fortunately, she does not have a concussion. 

Needless to say, after getting the call Friday evening, I was not able to sleep.  I stayed up awhile and got additional information from the ER and encouraged them to admit Mom overnight for observation.  I finally fell asleep in the wee hours.  I really wasn't sure I would be racing the next morning or driving four hours to Shreveport, LA. 

Obviously, I raced.  I didn't stay for any post-race activities or even to wait for the guy running in house slippers and pajamas to finish.  I  headed home.  Hubby and I packed an overnight bag and hit the road.  To give ourselves me a little comfort, we made a quick stop for a yummy Tex-Mex post-race lunch on our way out of town.  I eased a little stress with some homemade flour tortillas!

Mom left the hospital this morning and we drove her back.  Hubby drove her car.  I folded my tall mother into my small/mid-size SUV buggy and off we went.  At least the weather was GOSH DERN gorgeous for our trip back.  

It was also nice that we were able to use her room last night at the casino so we had a place to stay.

I'm tired.  Hubby's tired.  Even Cat is tired and all he did was sleep, eat, pee and poop.  Evil Twin?  Who gives a flying flip?

Photo credit:  Ha ha!  Fooled you.  I DID NOT take a photo of my mom's face, unlike her sister who took a photo a couple of years ago when my mom passed out (at a cemetery) and hit head head and nose. Yeah, what a place to pass out.  At least it wasn't close to an open grave....

Speaking of Mom's sister, she had called my mom's house a day before the accident asking her if she was ok.  Hum......maybe she hired the parking lot snake.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

A Dusting of Snow with a Side of Flamboyant Ice

Dear Mother Nature,
   I am writing to you again because you obviously did not understand my expression of frustration in my last letter.  Thanks a bunch for bringing another dusting of snow here in Texas.  Now I have powdered-sugared weeds.

  Your last dump broke my pine tree's arm.  

  You should be ashamed of yourself.  People think of Texas as a warm place with all of our salsas and spicy foods.  You are misleading them.  I think you and Climate Change must be sleeping together.

Frozen Geek

Fortunately I think this latest dusting will be gone before I finish this post.

Hang on a sec.  Let me check.


Yep.  All gone.

Saturday is the Cowtown running event in Fort Worth.  I'm running the half-marathon again this year.  I will need all of your positive thoughts and remote cheers even if it sounds like a snore as I'm sure some of you will not even be thinking about opening an eyeball that early in the morning.

We have a chance for more wintry mix ick later this week and Saturday morning, the day of the race, is supposed to be 30 degrees.    BRRRR! They say we may have sunshine and I will be VERY HAPPY to see that.  Last year it was 28 degrees and cloudy, with gusty winds.    Yeah, three raspberries and a snot wad for you, Mother Nature!

Hubby and I have been watching the Olympics.  Hubby thought the Russian "Curlers" were hot.  I'm thinking Bode and Apollo are looking pretty good in their tight pants events.  We loved the new Ski Cross event and laughed ourselves silly at some of the skating costumes.  What are these people thinking?  Don't they know they are blog fodder?

 Dude, um,um.....
What-the-When-Hell-Freezes-Over are you wearing and your hair? 

 Oh, please.  They are from France.  Don't EVEN try.
Although.....can I try those boots on Sweetie?

Photo credits: Dandruff on yard: Reffie, 2010 Ice Dancing "borrowed" from the Vancouver Sun.

Friday, February 19, 2010

Anatomically Incorrect

Not only has the weather been incredibly weird around these parts but advertisers are developing bad posture from stooping to new lows to get my attention:

I received an email advertisement with the following words jumbled together in one sentence:
  • dysfunction
  • erectile
  • fallout
  • cough drop
I was very confused as to what was being communicated so I took a few guesses:
  • Tall buildings may cough during earthquakes causing stuff to "fall out".
  • Do not stand erect near a window while having a coughing fit. 
  • Throwing cough drops out of windows as projectiles is an example of dysfunctional behavior.
Yes, I'm sure that's what they meant.

Then I received the following catalog in the mail:

What the boobage?  

This is how you sell bras? 


Notice my own attempts at boobage with my slight alteration to the catalog (two on top and a uniboob on the bottom!).  Hee Hee.  I hope I'm not hurting your eyes or offending you with my "ex-rated" photo. 


Using the word "bounce" to get my attention.....actually worked. 


In other news, guess what we are expecting by mid-week?  You guessed it.  SNOW. 


I've given up on the pool guy. He's been replaced by the snow-shoveler guy.    I'm sure you know how it is.  When they get hot from shoveling, they have to take off their shirts revealing a six-pack (yes, abs and beer) and some serious shoulders.  


It's getting warm in here.  Pass me a beer, please.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Death of an Igloo and a Meme!

The big snow event is over and most of it has melted.  Unfortunately, it's melting into pockets of slick ick on the streets in the morning.    There is a reason I live in Texas and this isn't it.  You got that Mother Nature?

I must show you what I made playing in the snow:

Reffie made this.  She is so silly.  She forgot the housewarming gift.   I was expecting a mouse or at least a squirrel.  Sheesh!

It's all melted now so Igloo must rest in peace. After power outages, mud swamps, and tree limbs down, we don't want to see that much snow ever again.

On a much more exciting note,  I'm having a bit of fun today.  My BBFF Quirky said I was good at following her.  Hee Hee.  Of course I am.  Evil Twin even has a few restraining orders to stay away from certain celebrities.

Oh.  I get it.  I'm a "follower" of her blog.  I remember now.  I clicked the little button on her sidebar one day and now my mugshot appears on the sidebar when I visit her blog.    Also, I read her posts and I spout off witty comments.  Ok.  Ok.  I leave words in the form of sometimes complete sentences and call them comments.

All of this hard work has earned me some kind of "following" award and now I have to answer questions.

Hee Hee.  I love to trash memes.

I'm supposed to answer about 40 questions and add one of my own.  Since I'm terrible at following directions and I'm feeling incredibly lazy, I will give you ten questions that may or may not have come from the list Quirky gave me:

1.  What are you wearing?
Seriously? Sigh.  I'm wearing out my dishwasher by using it every day.   

2. What's for dinner?
Roadkill stew.

3.  What's the last thing you bought?
Oceanfront property in Arizona.  Wait. That's where Quirky lives.  Wow!  I'll be close to her.

4.  What do you consider to be a fashion faux pas?:  Men wearing white socks with black shoes and shorts.  Speedos on anybody except Michael Phelps.  Or maybe Matt Damon.   Paisley.    Certainly not furry hats.

5.  A word that you say a lot:  Blog

6.  A big word you say a lot:  BLOG

7.  A word longer than three syllables that you use and know the meaning without looking in the dictionary:  Duplicative

8.  If I came to your house right now, what would you do to me?
Yippee!  I like this one.  First, I would hug you.  Depending on the condition of my yard, you are welcome to swim, sled, or make mud angels.  I'll be in the kitchen preparing us a feast of Mexican food and Texas Sheet Cake for dessert.

9.  What do you when you are low or depressed?   
Smile and count my blessings while pushing Evil Twin out of the upstairs window.

10.  What are you listening to right now?  A pin drop.  Wait.  Cat is snoring.

Happy Fat Tuesday!

 We earned these beads the "normal" way.  We are so pathetic!

Photo credits:  Furry geek: Hubby, Beaded pets and Cat's igloo:  Reffie

Friday, February 12, 2010

This One Makes the Books!

I've never seen so much snow in Texas in my entire life.  Sure enough, the recent snow event in the D/FW area broke the record.  Officially at D/FW airport, 12.5 inches over 24 hours was placed in the record books.  Limbs are breaking off trees, awnings are collapsing, and power lines are playing "wiggle worm" and shooting fireworks.

I say "wiggle worm" because I'm thinking of the toy that we put on the end of the hose when we were kids and it squirted water as the hose jumped around.

Talented artists are attempting to make ice sculptures.   Since I'm not a talented artist, this is NOT a photo of my attempts at sculpture but it made me smile this morning so I couldn't resist posting it.  I will feel accomplished making an igloo for Cat. 

Hubby is working from home and Cat has morphed into a possessed spazoid demon beast driving us crazy since he can't go outside.  Hum.....he COULD go outside but he would be buried by the snow.   That would make Hubby smile this morning.  Wait.  Where IS cat? 

This geek is going nuts.  I have a half-marathon in two weeks and I'm struggling to get my runs done.  On a positive note, my legs feel very rested!

I'm about to change into ski clothes, find a shovel and start shoveling my driveway. 

Enjoy these photos now part of our north Texas history:

Our backyard yesterday morning

Eerie night moves in our backyard.  My poor rose bush.

First thing this morning

WOW! Is this really Texas?

Our neighborhood runway is that tiny opening thru the trees.

Have a great weekend and Happy Valentine's Day to all my bloggy sweethearts!

Photo credits:  Snowed-in geek yard taken by Reffie, Night Moves taken by Hubby.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Portable Laundry and Snake-Free Potties

We made it home from New Mexico Sunday with no big weather issues!  It was eight hours of fog, clouds, or rain, but we were relieved NOT to be playing hockey without skates, sticks, or even a puck.

On a long drive, you look for ANY way to entertain yourself.  We encountered a small pickup with a camper with what looked like a washer and dryer among other things on top of their vehicle.  The appliances were heavily weighting the back end and the car was barely doing sixty.  We saw this vehicle in New Mexico headed east, our direction of travel, as Hubby flew past them going 120.   OK. OK.  He was going 78.

First, I asked myself how in the heck they got the appliances on top of the car and then I asked myself how long it will be before the car loses this battle.

The partial answer was about three hours later, after we stopped for lunch and continued on the road.  We saw the vehicle on the side of the road begging for mercy.

Later, when the liquids from lunch were making our eyeballs float, we stopped at one of our favorite rest stops.  One slight problem was this sign:

That's right.  I went in to the Ladies' Room and checked all areas of the stall before taking care of business.  I'm so glad Cat wasn't with us.  He thinks snakes are toys.

For those of you that think that I was actually off on one of my paparazzi trips looking for dirt on fellow bloggers, I now present you with GEEK ON SKIS!

I know you were probably hoping for something a little more sexy.  My apologies.  Evil Twin insists I wear clothing that keeps her warm when the afternoon winds kick in and freeze chucks of our arse off right there in the snow.  I would prefer that the wind freeze chunks of my belly off but apparently, I don't get to choose.

As you can see, New Mexico has plenty of snow.  This is a nice scenic overlook but the informational sign is buried.  The view is the Santa Fe valley and the Jemez mountains behind me.  We are at 11,250 feet.  

We had a great time skiing.  The sun softened the snow and there was plenty of coverage.   There were no yard sales but we wandered off into a windblown, crusted over area of ick in the trees.  We got enough of that after a few botched turns and traversed for softer, wider pastures for old people with weary joints that are not interested in becoming one with Tree.

Photo credit: Rattlesnake warning, Anna Markwell from, Creative Commons license (see sidebar).  Reffie attempted to take a photo of the real sign but she must have had a brain fart or something as the photo did not take.  Hubby took the ski photo.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Beware Geeks with Hats and Horses

We've had a great time in Santa Fe the last few days.  Tomorrow we are driving home, leaving somewhere before dawn shows her butt crack.  Although more snow is expected here in NM, we are hoping we can get on the road early enough to beat most of it. 

Wish us luck!

Brain fog must be contagious.  Hubby now has it.  We just returned from dinner twice.  That's right.  Twice.  We had to go back to the restaurant 10 miles north of town to retrieve Hubby's hat.  Yes, it's cold here; or maybe it's the thinning hair thin skin on the head.  Anyway, Hubby tells me after we are back in town and finished at the local supermarket that he has left Hat back at the restaurant.  I glare at him.  Evil Twin has to pee.  Sheesh! 

I ask him to drop me at the hotel five minutes away so I can pee.  I then push Evil Twin aside and tell him if he'll wait for me to pay toll on the margarita and umpteen glasses of water that I will go with him back to the restaurant.

Off we go.  We get to the restaurant.  Hubby gets out and walks towards the door.  He is back quickly and is laughing.  Hat was inside his jacket against his back and he had just noticed the sensation inside his jacket as he got out to walk to the door.    Ha!

Earlier, when he took his jacket off at the restaurant, he placed it on top of Hat on the back of the chair.  When he put it back on, his jacket scooped his hat and he didn't realize it.  UBER-GEEK!

He had just laughed at my brain fog from yesterday.  I have short arm disease so my reading glasses must accompany me EVERYWHERE.  I had them with me when we were skiing, wrapped up in my hat inside my pack.  Can you guess what happened?

That's right.  I "lost" them.  I looked in all the pockets of my pack, jackets, and ski pants.  No glasses.  I put on my hat for the ride back to town because I was freezing my lily white arse off.  I finally warmed up five minutes from the hotel and took off my hat.

I'm sure I don't have to tell you where the glasses were.

Yes, I was hoping other people would be the blog fodder but no such luck.  This picture proves it.

Yes.  My head fits in the nostril.  I wasn't quite tall enough to get my head inside of it.

I have missed your posts.  I hope to get started on the catch-up once we get back to Texas.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Geek Sent to Siberia

Ok. Ok.  I didn't really get sent to Siberia but I am choosing to visit a colder climate later this week.  Yes, I know I'm crazy.   More on that later.

Roses magically appeared at the geek household this past weekend.  It's a good thing because they sure smell a lot better than Cat.

Sweet Hubby Geek surprised me with the roses for our anniversary.  We also went out to dinner. I ordered crab claws.  They were tasty but huge so I'm glad I didn't have to catch them myself.  I might have lost a nose.  I had to stop eating the claws with my tiny fork because I was tired. 

We had some very tart key lime pie for dessert.

"Um, yeah.  That was some bitter pie, Mate."

In other sweet news, Dana over at Life is Good, is obviously addled from lack of sleep due to a new pint-size member of their household (Woof!)  She thinks I'm sweet.  She also things I'm a blog award whore but we won't talk about that.

She gave me some cupcakes:

Silly Dana.  She has obviously not met Evil Twin. 

Since I don't want to be the only blog award whore out in Blogland, I'd like to spread the icing around. The following sweethearts are welcome to take the cake and eat it too:

To get back to the colder climate discussion, Hubby and I are taking a few days off. I may miss a few of your posts with their witty insights and coffee-spewing humor.

On second thought, I don't need laughter to spill things around here...

Oops. Excuse me.   

"Cleanup on aisle....."

We are headed to New Mexico for some skiing.  Maybe.  Weather permitting. 

It's a short trip so our plan is to ski ONE day.  It will be interesting to see if we're able to get up the next morning.  We don't ski as much as we used to when we were 20-somethings with arthritic knees.  Now we are bit older with arthritic knees. According to Warren Miller, knees have a finite number of ski turns.  My knees are on the countdown:  T Minus 100 ski turns and counting....and NO, I don't ski like the extremists on his videos (I WISH!)

Maybe I'm just getting too old for this kind of "fun".

People-watching on ski slopes is also fun.   Let me rephrase that.  Watching other people do silly things is fun.  Seeing oneself and corresponding gear all over the mountain (called a "yard sale") is not so fun....unless you can find a fireman, Matt Damon, or Kiefer Sutherland to bring it to you.  It's also important that one is able to get up with all limbs intact and successfully ski to the bottom for Happy Hour.    Wine, beer, margaritas, hot toddies, or Diet Dr Pepper.  Take your pick.

What?  It's only 11:00 am and I've only skied a hour?  What's your point?

Another favorite activity is hat shopping.  I must model new big floppy hats.  Remember this one?

Obviously, I'm easily amused.

Please don't tell anyone but I also like to EAT when we go to New Mexico.  The chiles light my not-so-iron tummy on fire but Blue Corn Chicken Enchiladas Christmas is some good stuff.

Also, if anyone sees the sun, would you please send it down here?

Wait.  I think I see it.   Wow!  Let me get a picture.

Oops.  It's gone again.


Photos: floppy hat geek: Hubby, Bitter face cat, ornoth on, Creative Commons license (see sidebar)

P.S.  I like Blogger's new post editor.   Nice. 

"1.00s, 1.50s, 1.75s for the short arms. If you know what I'm talking about, you're probably old, too."

"Boomer brain fog: What was the last, middle, and first part of what you just said to me?"