Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Distressed but Dressed for Success!

Ah, the quiet of a country life.


No.  It can't be.  The construction of our new water lines has been complete for months. 


Apparently, my neighbor with too much time and money has decided that he didn't get enough of the noise.  He unloaded a front-loader yesterday afternoon (probably from Daddy's business), immediately reduced his mailbox to a pile of bricks, and has been running the thing almost non-stop since then.  

GOOD GRIEF CHARLIE BROWN!  What ARE you doing over there?  

I see piles of dirt, most likely for practicing his Evil Knievel stunts on his dirt bike.  


What's a girl to do to avoid the noise?

That's right.  Go shopping.

I went to look for a dress at a local discount store.  I wanted one that will cover the appropriate pieces and parts, make me look incredibly sexy, and will not empty my piggy bank.  

It was quickly obvious that was a pipe dream.

After getting distracted by skinny jeans and laughing at the see-through blouses, I found the rack of dresses.  The poor things were crammed together with barely room to take a breath.  They were screaming "PICK ME!  PICK ME!  SAVE ME!" 

Oh, here's one!   
Um, no.  It looks like tapestry or furniture upholstery.

Oh.  Oh.  This is so cute!
$110 on final markdown?  Pffft, I think not.

Ooh, ahh.  Here's a cute little versatile black dress.
Ker-plunk!  The silly hangar broke.  Sigh.
I'll try it on any way.  It's soft and curvy.

Hey, here's a dark purple silky one that doesn't have a neckline down to my belly.  Put it in the try-on pile.

And a nice grey "formal/funeral/wedding" dress.  Yep.  In the pile.

Here's a another purple one that has a few curves.  Me likey.

And a pink/purple print that just might work.

This one looks like a skirt.  I could use a black skirt.   A bow?  How cute.  No, wait.  IT'S A DRESS! YEE-GADs!  There is NO WAY a person could bend over or sit down in that thing.  PASS!

Wait.  WAIT!  I can't pass on this one.  It's soft and black and dressy and tight-fitting.   It really is a dress and it's only $14.99!!!!  So what if the neck is too low.  What are camisoles for and I can always tuck in my cookie-belly or wear a girdle!  

Without too many further distractions, I made it into the dressing room.  I had no other choice but to start trying on the dresses.  My pile (my arm) was about to fall off!

I hate this part.

Too big.   
Too weird.  
The black dress on the broken hanger looked like a toga.   
The purple ones made my butt look big and wrinkled in funny places.
I liked the print but not that much.
Ah, finally.  The "old lady" grey will do and the soft black bargain dress was extremely cute with my belly tucked in.    Note to self:  Pilates, Pilates, Pilates....

Done.   Go directly to check-out.  Do not pass Go.  Do not look at shoes.

What do you think? 

 The lining is cream-colored.  
It looks short but it's not that bad.
The neck isn't THAT low.

The neckline has some pearl-like beads 
and the belt helps the fit tremendously.

What?  You thought I would be wearing them for you?  Bawahahahaha!

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Love Pugs and Morons Make the World Go 'Round...or End

Cupid-in-a-Diaper Day has come and gone.  To celebrate, not only did I devour (and continue to devour) chocolate but I borrowed a photo and writing assignment from Jenny Matlock's blog.  The assignment was a caption, using 50 words or less:

UGH!  Is this true love?


I do not wish to be Wonder Pug, Bat Pug, Super Pug, or even Princess Pug.
I do not need shoes.

I just want to be your little love pug, with slobbery love licks, soft fur, 
and a belly full of bacon.

OK..that's done.  I can move on to the latest news in Geekville.

The weather has turned warm and people have turned into roasted morons nuts.  You'd think it was a sunny day in Seattle.  Here in Texas, we are no longer struggling with slick roads but are being dazzled brainless with thoughts of spring and are apparently unable to drive in our lane, use our turn signals, wait our turn at stop signs, or even stop at red lights!  We are DEFINITELY NOT able to put down our cell phones or turn down our rap music to focus on driving in a reasonably courteous manner.  Yeah, reasonably.  After all, this IS Texas.

It's been hard for Evil Twin this last week.

Speaking of cell phones, Evil Twin nearly pulled out her machete when she encountered Clueless Lady walking on the indoor track in the wrong lane, flailing her left arm as her right arm held the phone up to her ear.  Although the signs indicate calls over two minutes should be continued off the track, Ms. Clueless blabbed nonstop for thirty minutes before leaving the track for the stretching area.   She nearly lost that left arm as we passed her several times.  A little extra thump would have had her crashing into the guardrail. 

I'll admit to a passing fantasy of watching Ms. Clueless hurl herself over the rail thinking she could fly and landing not so softly on the basketball court below...



I'm feeling much better now.

Hubby and I watched the movie 2012 over the weekend.  We laughed at the special effects and the "science" but enjoyed seeing the good guys score some wins and the jerks get their just desserts (no brownies!).  I'd like to have one of those arks.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Superbowls of Gently Glazed Something

The snow and ice melted last Friday and Saturday.  The weather was great for the Super Bowl which probably helped with the traffic and the tailgating parties but the lid (roof) was closed so it had no effect on the game.   That just seems wrong.  It's football, folks!

Military jets did a flyover after Christina's interesting version of the national anthem.  Hum.... Maybe they showed the flyover on the recently upgraded video boards?


Over the weekend, the geek household enjoyed the opportunity to leave the house and get a few errands done.  It's non-stop fun around here when the truck gets inspected and the storm drain gets cleared.  Hubby and I were down on our hands and knees digging out mud, miscellaneous unidentifiable bones, and grass roots from this stubborn but effective storm drain.  Finally, the water starting coming through forming a small but unwanted watering hole.  The highlight of this adventure was Hubby creating a vacuum in a hose with an air compressor to start the flow of water out of the watering hole.  That's right.  Hubby understands Physics!

Um, yeah.  I can spell Physics.

The week starts again and we Texans are out and about with silly grins on our faces wearing light jackets and driving around on leftover sand.

Until today.  There is nasty white stuff on our streets.  Something that resembles snow but is more like sleet.  And it's cold and windy again.  WTF (FROSTING)?

Enough already.  Evil Twin has appealed to Old Man Winter and that fat furry rodent that didn't see its shadow on February 2nd.  Texas is tired of cold and this sorry excuse for snow that glazes our streets. Actually, I think Evil Twin is roasting that rodent while I'm typing this post.   She went out earlier.  I hope she was able to grab the yappy mutt that bit me on Sunday when I was out running.  Fortunately, only one of its nasty little fangs left a hole in my leg.  Ouch.

I should probably go check on her progress.  I'm getting hungry.

As for yappy mutts with fangs, got pepper spray? 

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Holy Wormcicles, Batman!

Welcome to Texas, where it is usually tolerable during the winter.   Our metropolitan area is hosting the Super Bowl this year so what does Ms. Fickle M. Nature do to celebrate the occasion?  That's right.  She hooked up with Mr. Freeze (yes, in the biblical way) and hosed down most of Texas.  Ok, she sprayed most of the USA, THAT MENOPAUSAL WITCH!

The show must go on, though.   Yesterday, the talking heads showed us coverage of the police escorting the Packers' buses on the icy roads.  They were headed to the stadium for Media Day.   Evil Twin was hoping to see the cop cars spin-out and crash into the guardrails like everyone else yesterday morning.

Nothing happened.  Zzzzzz.

We have a big bay window in our kitchen area and I've enjoyed watching the birds peck for worms in the snow.  Hubby coined their potential food as wormcicles.  Hee Hee.  We even have one little guy camp out by the back door, enjoying the warm air oozing through to the outside.

No, this isn't me and this isn't the back-door-begging bird 
but the bird was similar in size and shape to this one. 
I think this guy just wanted a hand-out (pun intended).

Today, with a low temperature of about 10, the sounds of silence stirred us out of our warm cozy bed.  The power was out.  No whirs or roars from the heaters.  No comforting buzz from the fridge.   


I was looking forward to my hot tea.  Fortunately, we were only out for about 30 minutes or so and when we turned on the TV, we heard all about the "rolling black-outs" mandated by a state governing organization.  


I have not left the house since Monday.  The gym where I teach has been closed and I didn't have to buy food like it was the last time I'd ever have a chance to do so.  Local schools have also been closed. 

Monday was a nice day, though, as it was my 24th wedding anniversary.  Hubby and I celebrated by exchanging cards, kisses and chocolate.  I also got a really big book with gorgeous photos! We plan on a dinner out sometime this weekend.

This photo is part of the card I got for Hubby.  I love the "Soul Mateys" boat name.

Stay warm!

Bird in hand photo from Abrilon on

"1.00s, 1.50s, 1.75s for the short arms. If you know what I'm talking about, you're probably old, too."

"Boomer brain fog: What was the last, middle, and first part of what you just said to me?"