Monday, August 1, 2011

Life as a Cookie - Chapter Five

The female human found my toy stash.  I slid my wine cork and my fluffy round mouse under the display cabinet saving them for a rainy day.  The next thing I knew the female was on my floor with her big head and eyeballs peeking underneath the cabinet.  She reached under there with a stick and brought out my toys and a few bugs (yummy).  Sheesh.  I HAD to play with them just to make her feel like she did something special.

Um, Oreo Cat?  You're so silly.  Your paw could not reach those toys.  They were gone forever.

What?  I don't quite get that.

I've noticed that it's getting harder and harder to jump up on tall things like the female's "Irony bored."  Who is Irony?  Why is she bored? 

Oreo, it's an IRONING BOARD.  The female, Reffie, presses clothing on it.

What?  Why would she do that?  I don't quite get it.

Why can't I get my belly up there anymore?

Oh.  Are you saying I'm getting fat?

 Is this the belly you speak of?

A new toy appeared over the weekend.  It was brown and almost dead.  The humans obviously did not provide this toy as they seemed a bit upset that this thing was in their kitchen.  I tried to get it to move and play with me but the male human made it go away.

That was a scorpion, Oreo Beast.  It might sting you!

Oreo notices his wine cork on the floor and pounces upon it.  It rolls and he chases it around, emptying his head of all memories and unlikely understanding of possibly getting stung by a scorpion.

That silly female got up too early Sunday morning.  She said she was going to a race where she had to swim, cycle, and run.  Yawn.  I thought for sure it was play time or I would at least get a snack.  Pffft.  She patted my head, told me to be a good kitty, and left.

Yeah, right.  I went back to bed.  I waited a couple of hours and then started to engage the male human in play using my claws and teeth towards the center of his body near his legs.  

I got in trouble.  :(

Since the female obviously likes to rise early, I thought that 4:30 am this morning would be a good time to show off my sharp claws making a nest in the sheets near her legs.

Apparently not.  

Sigh.  Life is hard for a kitty.


Rob-bear said...

Smart animal, for a cat.
Every house should have an irony bored. If bored, do something with irony. If done well, the ironic would not be boring.

Belle said...

I can see that cat is a hand-full. But what a beautiful color she is.

Anonymous said...

What is it with cats and hiding toys? Ours (Seamus) likes to put his underneath our refrigerator. He also finds the strangest Oreo, he found a wine cork and played with it for days until he grew bored with it, of course.

Latest favorite toy: his own hair. We brush him and then the air conditioner blows it around...he chases it. Silly cat.

Deb said...

Want NutJob to head down there to give Oreo a new scratching post?

ReformingGeek said...

@Rob-bear - Whoa! Is there any iron in irony?

@Belle - He's eaten himself into a nice big armful but yes, he's purty.

@unfinished - Cats are weird. Oreo does not like the thing brush...or comb.

@Deb - Sorry, but it's way to hot for poor NutJob.

Rob-bear said...

Dear Geek: For the record, irony is four-fifths iron. ~ Bear

Anonymous said...

*eyes popping out*

Whoa! There was no warning that this post contained kitty porn!


hee hee hee

Ziva said...

Cats are idiots, Darth Vader keeps hiding his toys in places he can't reach them. Then he sits next to the cabinet/couch/whatever and meows like crazy until someone helps him.

Unknown said...

How did you do in the race?

Oreo sounds like so much fun.

At least her mouse was a real toy - I'm assuming - and not a rodent. I found one of those lying face up in the living room. Talk about irony.

ReformingGeek said...

@Rob - That's good. I'm going to take an irony tablet. I'm feeling anemic.

@Quirky - **Censored** Hee Hee.

@Ziva - At least he knows when to ask for help. :)

@Lauren - I did ok, better than last year. I don't like the 4:45 am wake-up but I had a good time.

Ugh. "Dead mouse in the middle of the rug." Ugh.

MrsBlogAlot said...

I might...might wake up early on a weekend if the house was on fire...


That kitty is adorable! Dosent look like a trouble maker to me(-:

MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings said...

You own a cat and you get up at 4:30 in the morning? To go running, biking and swimming? Do you have a therapist?

ReformingGeek said...

@Mrsblogalot - He is sweet when he's asleep. :)

@Mike - Just you, Mike.

Suzanne said...

@Mike - too funny, everyone knows blogging is our therapy. I must visit you.

K A B L O O E Y said...

I still see bones. Oreo doesn't look so tubby to me, but maybe its just her pose. Hope the race went well. At least it must have been under 100 at that hour, right?

Ivy said...

Oreo doesn't look that fat. Let me send you a picture of my mother-in-law's cat Satan (Her real is Maxine, but trust me she is the spawn of Satan). That cat could make an elephant look thin!

"1.00s, 1.50s, 1.75s for the short arms. If you know what I'm talking about, you're probably old, too."

"Boomer brain fog: What was the last, middle, and first part of what you just said to me?"