Hallowimp

Warning: This post has links to some (not all) of my favorite Humor Bloggers. It really didn't start out that way. It kind of evolved. Enjoy.

Some of you catty Humor Bloggers must have your minds on Halloween but if you read the comments you might think that the Cat costume really does it for a lot of guys.

I love Halloween! I also took the quiz to determine what I should be this year. As the result was incredibly lame, I'm writing this post to hopefully generate some fresh ideas.

I really enjoy the creativity of what people can do this time of the year. The home-grown, yeah-I-made-this-up stuff can be the best or the worst of the season. As for me, I always put this off to the last minute and end-up with nothing or something incredibly dumb. Hubby is the same way. His office actually has a fancy party with food and cute little kids dressed up, and a contest, and food. Did I say food? He ends up dressed as a geeky software developer himself. This year he has vowed to be different. Hum.....


Why didn't the quiz give me this as my costume? With lots of makeup (and the purchase of the wig and mask) I might be able to pull this one off (lifting wand to strike an evil fairy spell on the wicked).

Sorry about that. Obviously the power of this costume is getting the best of me.

Seriously, the right thing to do (easiest on the pocketbook and my effort to "recycle") is to look thru my closet and various other storage areas scattered around the house and re-use an existing costume......




OK fast forward. I did that. Here's the inventory:

• Pebbles
• Pirate
• Silly Halloween T-shirts
• Long gray wig
• Green face makeup to make me look like Frankenstein
• Witch's hat
• Hippie Dude
  

OK folks. That's a weird variety of costumes. My favorite is Pebbles but the costume I have is way to big. Now this one; it's is a lot sexier. Mine has long baggy pants and a brown wig. It also came with a club. I really like the idea of carrying a club. It makes me feel like I grew a pair.

The Pirate is just too LAME for me this year.

The Long gray wig has is own set of problems. It's hairy. Duh, but it's a mess. The hair sheds everywhere and it won't stay combed and it's hot and scratchy. I think I'll burn it. I wore it to work on one year for the costume contest and had a weird co-worker "makin' eyes" at me all day. Creepy.

The Witch's hat is kind of cool. It has a kink in it because of the way it's been stored so it looks like the Sorting Hat from the Harry Potter movies. That was last year's costume along with a Silly Halloween T-shirt. The first and only set of candy-beggars guessed it on the first try. Their dad was stumped though. Guess he's already a dumbass. For more on the dad-to-dumbass conversion, you'll have to read some dude.

I just can't bring myself to use that Green make-up. With all the running I'm doing lately, I don't need any help looking green. As for the Hippie Dude, I looked at it, turned green and decided to trip out on some LSD. Groovy, man. Guess I'd better skip that one too.

Remember the quiz? Well, after answering the questions, it gave me The Alien. LAME with the big "L" on it's forehead (OK, I know that "L" is supposed to be for Loser but work with me here).


As a child, not withstanding the silly store-bought costumes, my friend and I usually went trick-or-treating as a "hobo". Oh yeah. Very creative. All we did was mess-up our hair, put dirt on our face, and wear one of dad's old shirts and a pair of jeans. Yippee. It must have been good enough as we came back with bags full of candy. I think I have to give some credit to the neighborhood for that. Back then everyone had their porch light on and was willing to give out candy. I don't think anyone ever came home with a razor blade or was poisoned.

One year, I almost became a Pack of Cigarettes. Mom and I took a large cardboard box and with wrapping paper and markers made it look like the brand Dad smoked. I eventually wimped out. I think I was embarrassed. You know how it is at that awkward age. If some kid did that today and showed up at a church Halloween party (I mean Fall Festival), folks would have a cow. On second thought, this is redneck land. Maybe they would think it was incredibly clever.


While I was looking for costumes online, I also found this baby. Doesn't this just say "HOT"? Uh huh. You have to buy the boots separately. DAMN! I used to love the game but then I grew up and got old and creaky. Now I do yoga instead of Twister. There is a pose in yoga called "Flip the Dog" and it makes me wish I had the dots when I flip over. It's also difficult to teach. I can see it now. Put your left hand on the 3rd yellow dot and your right foot on the 2nd green dot.........maybe not.


Coming up soon is the Humor Bloggers Carnival. On Monday, the 13th, the hostess will be posting blogs about Growing Up 60's, 70's or whatever and/or Weird Rules Your Parents Made Up. Catch it if you can.