Saturday, October 30, 2010

Your Marbles Called....

They want to go back to your brain where they belong.

Or maybe it's the zombies nibbling peoples' brains.

People are acting crazy and I'm getting scared.

Evil Twin is having a wonderful time, though.  Sunday is Halloween and we still have candy left.  I know I haven't bought any yet but work with me here.

Evil Twin is all into the decorating.  She wants to put out a candy bowl with a child-size hand in the middle.  When kiddies reach to grab some candy, a recorded voice will say "Be careful there.  Look what happened to the last kid."  This would be followed by evil laughter.  I think she has already recorded the laughter.

Hum....

Maybe we will just answer the door and hand out candy like all the other folks.


Anyway, back to the craziness and people missing parts of their brains.

Yesterday, while I was running, a car nearly hit me and sent me into a ditch, minus a limb or two.  It came up behind me on a two-lane road.  I didn't hear it as the wind was blowing sound away from me. There was traffic coming the other way.  This car didn't even slow down or move over an inch.  I think that's all I had between my arm and that car.   Evil Twin is digging out back.  I'd best go check to see if the hole will be big enough for that car and its driver.

Yes, I know.  I should have been running towards traffic but I usually wait to cross over until I top the hill...right about where I nearly hit the ditch.  Sigh.


Hubby channeled Evil Twin while driving when a grizzly-faced super-sized redneck cut him off in order to turn into the local barbecue joint.  Evil Twin told me later that she was sure that pig-man was a cannibal.

I was nearly sandwiched yesterday while driving home.  The annual airshow is in town.  The airport is close to the freeway.  The Blue Angels were practicing and they maneuvered right over the freeway causing everybody in front of me to slam on their brakes.  One of the pilots was wearing a yellow undershirt and had blue eyes.  The Mustang behind me nearly became one with my rear door.  I think his undershirt was white but I'm sure his pants were brown.


Are you scared yet?

All in a geek's week.

Photo credits: Blue Angels: David Newberger on flickr.com, Creative Commons License (see sidebar),  Jack-O-Pansies: Reffie.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Mouse in Place for World Series Bid

It's been an exciting week here in Geekville.  Our very own Texas Rangers are finally going to the World Series.  For those of you that are professional sports challenged, I'm talking about BASEBALL, the game where guys try to whack a round thing with a stick, run around in circles when they do, and when they stop running, they make adjustments to their protective undergarments.    

Seriously, it can be loads of fun, and even more fun when your local team WINS!

I credit part of this success to me, Hubby, and our friends NOT attending the playoff games as they lost every playoff game we attended.  Some credit also goes to none other than Bicentennial Mouse:



Yes, Ms. Mouse has been around since 1776 1976 and is still going strong.  She wears her cap well, don't you think?

She has been hogging her seat in front of the tele for about a week using rally towels (hand towels with the team colors handed out at the playoff games) as bibs and eating us out of house and mouse.  She is enjoying our cat-free environment although Evil Twin has been slinking around hissing at her.  

Ms. Mouse will stay in place through the World Series, silently cheering for another first for the Texas Rangers.  

I'm not so sure Ms. Mouse is as innocent as she seems. I've noticed a few beers missing form the garage fridge....and there are some mouse turds near the door.  Hum.... is that candy corn in those turds? 

Ew.

In other news, we are having new water pipes installed in our neighborhood.  Basically, this is because our city wants to "improve our infrastructure" and have the opportunity to accept our hard-earned money each month instead of us paying a neighboring city for water service.

Yeah, thanks, City.  We won't be excited about the price increase, either.

It's a mess and yesterday the excitement was a blue pipe went walk-about and crashed into a brick wall, a bulldozer nearly ran my friend off the road twice, and an extremely accident-prone neighbor fell into one of the pits. 



Oops.  He wasn't injured and fortunately, neither was the pit or the concrete.  

I think the neon-vested worker bees were hitting the beer thermos during their lunch break.

Tune in next time for more exciting and/or treacherous events here in Geekville.

Photo credits:  Bicentennial Mouse:  ReformingGeek, Pipes and pit:  Reffie's nearly pancaked friend and neighbor.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Saturday Centus: All Hallow's Eve

In keeping with the season, I'm doing this week's Saturday Centus.  It's a Halloween theme and Evil Twin is tingling with excitement.   I can't wait to see what she does with this week's prompt.


The Centus, originating from Jenny Matlock's blog, is a short story, 100 words or less, using a prompt.



This week's prompt is:  “Trick or treat!" they shouted as the door opened.




I hope you find a bit of humor in my Evil Twin's story:


 Seasoned for the Season

“Trick or treat!" they shouted as the door opened.

There was nobody there but they saw the large bowl on the table.    Expecting to be startled by the weird old lady dressed as a witch or Oprah, they mustered their courage and walked toward the bowl.  The collections from the other homes ranged from bags of organic granola to a Rachael Ray cookbook so they were hopeful for chocolate.

In the kitchen, the oven was heating and the kitchen tools and seasonings were ready on the counter.

Cate and her brother Cody had argued about their costumes all week and finally agreed to go as Hansel and Gretel.




Gulp!


Oh my. I can't believe she did that.  Those poor children.


Sigh.


For other Centus stories, click here:

Monday, October 11, 2010

Blinded By The Light But Not By The Punch

It's a bright sunny day and there will probably be numerous traffic accidents from folks running a red light because they simply DID NOT SEE the light.

I get this.  The bright sunshine was playing tricks on me this morning.  Here's how I interpreted the following signs:

RIGHT SHOULDER CLOSED AHEAD  as  BRIGHT SHOULDER HOSED A HEAD
   I like my version better.  Even though it's nonsense, it's much more entertaining.

MERGING TRAFFIC as MURKY GRAFFITI
  I kept looking for the non-signaling, unclear graffiti.  I was so confused.

 I'd let this guy merge.

and then my mind went into silly Geekgirl mode:

SERVICES AVAILABLE:  MCDONALD'S, BUFFALO WINGS, FU EXPRESS as
  SERVICES AVAILABLE:  FRIED CLOWNS, BUFFALOS F*CKING, FAST WINGS

Speaking of clowns, I found this black-eyed Bozo....


 who seemed to fit well with our afternoon on Sunday:

People are crazy.  We were seated in the nosebleed section at the ballpark for the Rangers vs. Rays playoff game yesterday and about halfway through the game, the guy in the seat next to me punches the guy next to him in the face.  Everyone's jaw dropped as we watched the scene unfold.  The guy doing the whopping said that his neighbor was cussing too much.   None of us heard any cussing but we were paying attention to the game.  

The guy that was supposedly cussing had been drinking quite a bit but he and his buddy were not loud or obnoxious.  The guy sitting next to me, Mr. Whopper, seem to have been in a sulk the entire time.  He was with his mother who was the person who was actually seated next to the accused foul-word-spewer.  The hitting did not occur until Mom went for some nachos.  Maybe the home team losing was just too much for Mr. Whopper or he walks around life with a very short fuse.  Scary.

The situation resolved when the punched guy's buddy convinced Mr. Whopper to leave or they were going to go get a cop. 

All in a geek's life.

Photo credits:  Graffiti: Akbar Simonse, Bozo: Chris Denbow, courtesy of flickr.com, Creative Commons license (see sidebar).

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Something Wicked this Way Scares..

In honor of the season, a few decorations:

Ms. ScarecrowGeek looks quite cozy sunning herself in my window.

 I can't believe Halloween is coming soon.  Do you have a costume yet?


Oh dears!  It seems Ms. ScarecrowGeek has disappeared.

Has she been Scare-napped?  If so, I hope I can afford the ransom.  You guys will help me, right?

RIGHT?




Sigh.

I wonder if Evil Twin has something to do with this.  I just saw her headed to her closet with some duct tape and a pair of scissors.

Maybe the garden gnomes from next door have her in their lair, slowly eating her stitch by stitch.


Hum....

We have a crew of workers installing new water pipes in our neighborhood.  Maybe she levitated out of the window and fell into one of their pits, scarred (maybe I meant scared?) for life dead from viewing too many visible butt cracks?

Perhaps one of the hawks grabbed her for their nest.   If I look closely, I may find an eyeball or two scattered about the yard.

Tisk.  Tisk.

No.  I'm sure it was Nutjob, Deb's infamous dragon-toothed beast she calls a dog.  It devours Jehovah's in a single gulp.  Poor Ms. ScarecrowGeek wouldn't have a chance.  

I hope Nutjob poops fabric for a week!

But where was Nutjob when the Mormons came to the door a few days ago?

Just kidding.  They were such nice young men. 

Now WHAT is that NOISE?  I think it's coming from Evil Twin's closet.  It's funny that it started just after those nice young man knocked on the door.....

Photo credits:  Geek decor:  Reffie, Gnomes:  kissabug on flickr.com, Creative Commons license (see sidebar).

"1.00s, 1.50s, 1.75s for the short arms. If you know what I'm talking about, you're probably old, too."

"Boomer brain fog: What was the last, middle, and first part of what you just said to me?"