A Few Squares...

It's June.  It must be time for another reunion.

That's right.  Hubby and I attended my high school band reunion over the weekend.  Nobody was brave enough to get out their instrument.  We left Evil Twin and the cat at home.  It's no telling what they were doing to amuse themselves while we were gone but I think they had other animals over and snorted catnip.

The gathering was fun, if not a bit hot in a barely air-conditioned building with the sun blazing in through the glass doors/walls.  We were all a bit drippy but managed to talk and yell until our voices were hoarse.  Our band director showed up and just like that, we were back in school.  It was an emotional reunion for him as our band during the 1978 - 1980 timeframe was his passion.  He was one of the first directors in our area to introduce "drum and bugle corp" style marching.  He was an excellent band director, coach, and leader for all of us silly, pimply teenagers who thought we knew everything.

What? We didn't?

I spent a lot of time with my high school best friend and our husbands also chatted with each other while we were up and about visiting with others looking for men that still had hair.

Kidding.  Kidding.  Most of the guys and almost all of the ladies still had hair.

I cringed when I saw one of the ladies I hadn't seen in 30+ years.

She was a year behind me in high school with dark clear skin, pretty eyes, and silky long hair.  What a change!  She was wearing a tank top and shorts and now adorns all visible skin with tattoos.  Her silky long hair is military short.  I didn't get a chance to talk to her.  I was afraid she might eat me.

This summer Hubby and I finally got around to another home project.  It was time to tile our window:

Oreo Cat squeezes into the photo.

Actually, Hubby did most of the work.  I'm the chief cleaner-upper and I do the grout, sealing, and caulk.

Guess what?

***crickets***

Pffft.

I won the lottery!

Unfortunately, it's not the kind that allows you to walk a way with a sack of money.  It's a lottery for the Houston 2012 Marathon in January.  Yep.  I got in.  Be quiet about it, please.  I don't want my body to hear that it will be training for 26.2 miles.

I hope everyone is having a great summer and is making some attempt at staying cool.  It's been brutal here in Texas.

Hubby and I will be taking a wee little break for the holiday.   Happy Birthday, America!

Life as a Cookie - Chapter Two

I'm starting to somewhat settle with these humans, Reffie, Evil Twin, and Hubby, even though I still feel like they aim to starve me.  Evil Twin is again helping me write this post.

The stroking and loving training is going well but the female was upset with me last night at 2:30 am when I wanted to make a bed out of her tank top while she was wearing it.

I've discovered that the female human has a shelf on her front.  It has these knob-thingies.  The shelf and the knobs are a bit small but I keep thinking I will find some crumbs from the dead animals and vegetafulls...er....veg-something (don't really know that word) that she and the male human consume.  I've been sneaking up on the knobs and trying to nibble.  She doesn't really like that and keeps saying something about being thankful for padding.

Sigh.

The female human did the magic Google and determined that I am a Mink.

What?

Oh, not mink, Manx.  I'm a Manx, a cat breed with no tail or short stubby tails (like mine) and with tall, large hind legs.  That must be why I almost flip over when I run down the stairs chasing my mouse. 

It's a tennis ball, but don't say anything to him, 'K?

My humans call me "dogbutt".  They also call me "round tummy" and complain I'm going to break some bank because I eat too much.

Burp.

The female human (yes, HER again) also learned that I am prone to Urinary Tract Infections (UTI's).  She is giving me more moisture in my food because I'm supposed to pee a lot.  Today, she left me some canned chicken-water and a few chunks in a small bowl.  Yum-Yum. 

More, please, MORE, M-O-R-E!

The female human caught me licking my thingy and told me it's a symptom of UTI.  She is mistaken but I won't tell her that.  I just liked the taste, that's all.  Sheesh.

What?

Oh, the male human?  He is very hard to wake up at night.

Both humans laughed at me yesterday.  I jumped up into the female's lap but apparently had too much momentum and flipped over on my back onto her left arm.  I looked like one of those silly human babies, cradled in her arm with a goofy expression on my face.  I was most offended but I soon remedied the situation, righting myself, raising my nose and strutting off like I owned the place.

I do, don't I?

Oh My Eyes and Oh My Word!

While sitting at my part-time gym grunt job last week, I had some time to think.  No,  I didn't prove geometric theorems or write the next top-selling iPad app.  I thought of things that amuse me and what my neighbors have been up to lately.

You should never have to see:

• A stranger's underwear in a public place.  No, I'm not talking about kiddos with their pants down low, but an older, heavy women sporting a giant white "O" between her legs.  She was sitting in a booth at a restaurant.    Lady, please sew those pants or at least close your legs.  Those of us on the lower level are getting an eyeful.

• Your mom's diaphragm on the bathroom counter.

• At a tender age, a guy you have a crush on smooching another girl.

• Boobs that touch the floor.

• Most of the photos on peopleofwalmart.com.

• Feminine product commercials.

Evil Twin's latest perspective on neighbors:

Well...  SOME neighbors. 

• The one that looks like a caveman seen exiting his cave wearing no shirt, baggy shorts, and flip flops, his massive hair wild and a beard that hasn't been groomed in, well, never.  Also, he gets his house rolled.  Really people?  I didn't know this was still the thing to do.  The question is will he ever clean it up?   

• The one that asks "Do you have crabgrass?" several times within the course of a few minutes and goes on with "I've NEVER had it and NOW I've got it all over the place.  I wish I knew where it was coming from."    Um, yeah, well, crabgrass happens,  Pesky Neighbor.   She drags me to see her plants out front pointing out crabgrass along the way.  Um, yeah, I know what it looks like, Irritating Neighbor.  She continues with another question for at least the fourth time, "Do you wants some shrubs to line the back of your property?"  Gee, like I said last time....and the time before and before and before, thanks, not now, but I'll let you know if I do, 'K? 

• The one that thinks you've stolen cats from your friend's house you are sitting because she hasn't seen you at the house recently.  Yes, of course.  It was a stealth mission in the middle of the night.  I finished rolling Caveman's house and went straight for the furry creatures.  I am currently holding them for ransom.  I'll return them for a piece of my friend's apple pie.    Mrs. Kravitz,  put those binocs down and find a new hobby.

 Whew.  I'm feeling much better now.  Thanks.