Monday, June 13, 2011

Life as a Cookie - Chapter Two

I'm starting to somewhat settle with these humans, Reffie, Evil Twin, and Hubby, even though I still feel like they aim to starve me.  Evil Twin is again helping me write this post.

The stroking and loving training is going well but the female was upset with me last night at 2:30 am when I wanted to make a bed out of her tank top while she was wearing it.

I've discovered that the female human has a shelf on her front.  It has these knob-thingies.  The shelf and the knobs are a bit small but I keep thinking I will find some crumbs from the dead animals and vegetafulls...er....veg-something (don't really know that word) that she and the male human consume.  I've been sneaking up on the knobs and trying to nibble.  She doesn't really like that and keeps saying something about being thankful for padding.

Sigh.

The female human did the magic Google and determined that I am a Mink.

What?

Oh, not mink, Manx.  I'm a Manx, a cat breed with no tail or short stubby tails (like mine) and with tall, large hind legs.  That must be why I almost flip over when I run down the stairs chasing my mouse. 

It's a tennis ball, but don't say anything to him, 'K?

My humans call me "dogbutt".  They also call me "round tummy" and complain I'm going to break some bank because I eat too much.

Burp.

The female human (yes, HER again) also learned that I am prone to Urinary Tract Infections (UTI's).  She is giving me more moisture in my food because I'm supposed to pee a lot.  Today, she left me some canned chicken-water and a few chunks in a small bowl.  Yum-Yum. 

More, please, MORE, M-O-R-E!

The female human caught me licking my thingy and told me it's a symptom of UTI.  She is mistaken but I won't tell her that.  I just liked the taste, that's all.  Sheesh.

What?

Oh, the male human?  He is very hard to wake up at night.

Both humans laughed at me yesterday.  I jumped up into the female's lap but apparently had too much momentum and flipped over on my back onto her left arm.  I looked like one of those silly human babies, cradled in her arm with a goofy expression on my face.  I was most offended but I soon remedied the situation, righting myself, raising my nose and strutting off like I owned the place.

I do, don't I?

14 comments:

Deb said...

If that beast decided to have its way with my knobby thingies it would be gumming its wet food while wearing a hockey helmet.

Quirkyloon said...

Yes, you most certainly do Mr. Cookie.

AND... if the humans would eat more fries and less veggies? You would be ever so comfortable. Those knobbie thingies would blend right in and not even be in the way!

HA!

hee hee hee

K A B L O O E Y said...

Somehow I thought I could live a full and happy life without learning that the kitty likes the taste of her girly parts. Silly me.

rental mobil elf said...

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dana said...

if YOU could reach your naughty bits, you might understand dogbutt's yen to visit hers.

If she's peeing elsewhere besides the litter, it could be a UTI. There's a vet for that.

(just another thing I offer: INSIGHT!) lol

Leeuna said...

Bwahahaha. Maybe I should introduce our cat to my "shelf". He is so stand-offish and stuck up I have to beg him to let me pet him on his head.

The "cookie" is beautiful. I love the short tail.

ReformingGeek said...

@Deb - Don't worry. No Oreos will be left alone anywhere near you. No cats, either. :)

@Quirky - Oreo is most interested in these things fries. Thanks for that.

@Kablooey - I'm sorry your bubble has been burst.

@Dana - Oh my. I don't think I want to be able to reach those bits, Insightful Dana!

@Leeuna - Be very careful with your shelf. Cats are, well, cats. We are on this earth to server them. :)

Anything Fits A Naked Man said...

Dude, you have GOT this! You're FAR to cute to be anything but DICTATOR of that house! WORK it, Baby!!

Sue said...

Great to hear you are all getting along so well. ;-)

Collette said...

Gotta love cats! I never had one but always wanted one (sorry, hubby won't let me get one ;)

Jean Knee said...

uhm.

how nice for you

Mrsblogalot said...

Of course you own the place you adorable thing! Tell the female human I said so (-:

Lauren said...

The need for cats to knead sharply diverges from my need to not feel like a pin cushion. Ouch!

ReformingGeek said...

@Joan - Thank you. I'm glad someone appreciates my cuteness!

@Sue - It's been a tough week.

@Collette - Of course you have to love cats. What else are we here for?

@Jean - Yes it is nice, Miss Knee.

@Mrsblogalot - The female is beginning to catch on.

@Lauren - What? They AREN'T pin cushions?


"1.00s, 1.50s, 1.75s for the short arms. If you know what I'm talking about, you're probably old, too."

"Boomer brain fog: What was the last, middle, and first part of what you just said to me?"