I'm already planning improvements for next year. Grab some caffeine and let me tell you all about it:
We gathered in the transition area at O'Dark-Thirty before Dawn had even thought about showing her butt crack. This is where were marked for target practice......er....I mean labeled with permanent markers. Yes. I still have the remnants of my race number on both arms and my age on my leg. No, I didn't get any pictures of my arms and legs.
After setting up my bike and organizing my stuff for the race, standing in line to get my timing chip, and a quick pit stop, it was time to start the race.
The first event was swimming which is by far my weakest event. We had to swim 300 meters in an indoor pool. The lanes were 50 meters long and the course was like a snake. That is, you swim down the lane, cross under the rope and swim up the next lane, etc., until you either drown or finish the course.
OK. OK. There were some cutie lifeguards that looked about 10. They probably wouldn't have let me drown.
The "snake" course allows all swimmers to be going the same direction. The announcer said that if you encounter someone going the wrong way, you were welcome to "de-pants" them. Hum.....I'm not sure I would have had the energy to do that.
Because I estimated my swim time to be "forever and a year", I got a high race number. This meant that I was towards the end of the line to start the swim. It was almost an hour before I was in the pool. I was very happy that the water had warmed up because this pool is usually incredibly cold but I did get tired of waiting.
The most challenging part of the swim besides huffing and puffing and not being able to blow anything down, was all the other swimmers in the pool. It seemed likes someone was always trying to pass or I was needing to pass someone. I was doing all I could to make it from one end to the other. The shallowest water was 6'2" so it's not like I could stop and walk. I'll admit I took breaks at the end of the lanes.
Finally, it was done.
Biking: I jogged to the transition area, barefooted and wet, patted my hair a few times and sucked up some extra water from my swim wear. I put on my biking shirt, socks and shoes, sunglasses, helmet, grabbed my bike, and started the cycling segment. I was still dripping!
The bike route was up and down some long hills but I swear there was more up than down. Going up the last hill, I saw a poodle walking a lady and I really wanted to draft off that poodle.
As I was finishing the bike course, I saw several runners at the turnaround point. They were moving incredibly slow and some were walking. I'm thinking to myself, "Hum....why are they moving so slow? I won't have that problem...". Then I finished the biking event.
BAWAHAHAHAHAHA! I had to eat humble pie! By the time I got off my bike, my legs were barely moving and it was surprisingly hard to breathe! I have actually practiced this transition and noticed the noodle legs but my practice ride was not as long or hilly. I was very happy to get off that bike!

I finished and really, really wanted to puke. No really. But I didn't. Then I realized that somehow I had missed the pancakes. Holy Pathetic Pancake for a Pirate! What's up with that?
Yea! My medal:
When I returned home, I found that our house had been given a "Halloween Chain Letter". The instructions indicate to post the sign that indicates that you have been given the treats and to secretly provide treats for two other neighbors. Hum.....I think I will accidentally forget to post my sign and hope that other neighbors give me more treats.
Um...ReformingGeek?
Yes?
That sounds like something I would do. Good for you. You're learning.
Um...ReformingGeek?
Yes?
That sounds like something I would do. Good for you. You're learning.
Photos: Race photos NOT taken by still sleeping ReformingGeek Hubby. Medal photos staged and photographed by ReformingGeek pretending to be a fashion designer.