Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Life as a Cookie - Chapter Three

The saga of the cat known as Oreo continues...

The humans left me for what felt like years.  They said they went to the desert for a few days.  I don't get it.  It's hot here.  Why go to a hotter place?  They explained that the temperatures get down into the 50's at night in the desert.  I could handle that.  I would like to feel cool.  Snuggling up against these warm creatures all the time is tough work. To cool off around here, I have to turn over on my back and spread my legs.

Um, Oreo?  Don't talk like that.  The humans won't like it.

Sheesh.  I'm always in trouble.

They told me they went on a lake trail famous for rattlesnakes.  Oh!  Oh!  Now THAT sounds fun.  I love snakes.

Your shoe string isn't really a snake, Silly.

Other humans stopped by.  They played with me and fed me.  They called me a cat orb.

No, Goofball.  They said you were a "cat whore".  You'll go with anybody.

I'm not sure what that means.  I'm sure they were just talking sweet to me like all humans do. 

The female human is not tolerant of me once she returned.  She said something about having to re-train me because I've forgotten things I'm not supposed to do.  I have no idea what she is talking about.  I just want to be close to her.....on the toilet, putting on her shoes and clothes, taking off her shoes and clothes, preparing her food on the countertop, reading her books and emails...  She keeps telling me that she doesn't need my help.


The humans gave me this giant contraption that dispenses my food at regular intervals.  Ha!  That thing is useless.  It never provides enough of those ugly dry morsels and I have to wrestle with it to get it to spit out some more.  I was very excited when that silly female human spilled the container one day.  She and the male tried to get all the food back into the bin but I quickly swept a few under a rug for later.  Hee Hee.

Reffie told me to tell you that she won a blog contest hosted by Unfinished Person.  I've heard of unfinished meals, although I've never experienced one, but a person being unfinished?  I'm very confused.  Anyway, Reffie won a collection of personalized items.  She got running books, a cookbook, and a couple of country music CD's.  She sounds excited.  She likes running and cooking and music.  I like running, eating, and mice so I guess we have lots in common.


Whoa!  Sorry about that folks.  Oreo's food dispenser just dumped and he stomped on the keyboard as he bolted for his dinner.


KittyBrooks said...

Where's a 'like' button [its a button one presses when he/she likes something on Facebook, in case you are not familiar] when you need it. I just love reading these posts 'by' your cat. Look forward to reading more about his shenanigans.

Ivy said...

Wow, that's one mighty talented cat. I wouldn't even be upset that he/she just hacked your blog. A blogging cat, that's just amazing!

Ziva said...

Congrats on winning the contest! I can't believe how smart the cat known as Oreo is. I've been trying to teach Darth Vader how to write a blog post, but it's like he's a few pages short of a book. He just doesn't get it. And can you believe it, he STILL leaves the toilet seat up whenever he goes. So annoying.

ReformingGeek said...

@KittyBrooks - Thanks. Oreo is having loads of fun learning to blog!

@Ivy - Do you think I could get rich off this cat?

@Ziva - Cats named Vader are usually a few bricks short of a load. Poor things. Keep working on that seat thing. He'll eventually catch on.

00dozo said...

Congrats on your win!! I hope the books help you with the upcoming marathon.

Cats are rather unique with their own personalities. I have one cat that likes to bite my big toe whilst I'm conducing my morning constitutional. It's quite annoying and doesn't make for a 'relaxing' visit to the john, if you know what I mean.


Anonymous said...

Heh heh @ 00dozo for "conducing" but more importantly congrats to Oreo for figuring out how to shove freshly spilled kibble under the rug! Most impressive. Oh and congrats to you as well Reffie for the blog contest win. You rock, my BBFF!!! *smile*


OREO SAYS: What is WRONG with my humans! What if she had fallen off a cliff or get bitten by a rattlesnake! She doesn't land on her feet or have nine lives and where would that leave ME?

She should have to pay for this obvious animal abuse.

*pee in her shoes* Who said that!?

Good idea. Thank you Dana human.

Anonymous said...

Cat whore. We have one of them too. So we can relate to you and your thoughts about Oreo. His name, in our case, is Seamus. Glad you got the package and are enjoying the contents...sorry, I didn't get anything for you, Oreo ;).

ReformingGeek said...

@00dozo - Thanks. Yes, cats know when you are at your weakest moment. :)

@Quirky - Thanks. There is no telling what Oreo has hidden in his lair. Hum....

@Dana Human - Um, Oreo. Cover your ears.

@Unfinished - Our former cat was very skittish. It's nice to have one that actually wants to be around people. Oreo forgives your oversight about the gift.....I think.

I Wonder Wye said...

I like the window -- isn't it great to have someone handy around the house? Without having to pay them?! Good luck with the training but please, don't overdo it in the ungodly heat...

Unknown said...

I love the adventures of kitty. You captured her POV purrrrfectly. Sounds like you and hubby had a great trip despite kitty poo-pooing your excursion, with exception to the snake, of course. kitty is the perfect foil for ET.

The Constant Complainer said...

I've often wondered what my cat would really say if she could talk. It would probably be profane, whatever it was.

ReformingGeek said...

@Amy - Thanks! We are enjoying having the window tiled and better able to withstand the messes the cat and I make!

@Lauren - Thanks! Fortunately, the trail famous for snakes didn't live up to its reputation! Yes, Oreo and ET have their moments.

@Constant - That is probably true!

Suzanne said...

Now see I leave my dogs food in it's bag right on the floor and she doesn't even bother it let alone sweep some under the rug. I'm sorry Carol but I can't let Buckeye read your blog anymore. I hope you understand.

Mie said...

Lovely blog, amusing like hell!!

Ben said...

Very nice blog! can't wait to read the next part.

"1.00s, 1.50s, 1.75s for the short arms. If you know what I'm talking about, you're probably old, too."

"Boomer brain fog: What was the last, middle, and first part of what you just said to me?"