Food with an Attitude Still Gets Eaten

Hubby is not overly fond of turkey. Me? I love it but I also love Hubby's family's tradition of Mexican food on Thanksgiving or Christmas or just about any time.

Over the last few years, our combined families have tried to alternate between the pilgrim traditional and the Hubby traditional. Here's the menu for this year's celebration at the Geek household:

• Spanish Spare Ribs (It's almost like a stew: pork with Mexican seasonings, prepared by RG)
• Spanish Rice (Sister-in-law makes from scratch)
• Flautas/Taquitos (homemade by RG)
• Pinto Beans (loaded up with plenty of gas for our farting pleasure)
• Tamales (Mom is bringing these. I don't really want to know where these come from....)
• Guacamole (Wait. Green stuff? Uh oh.)
• Chips and Salsa (duh)
  
• Spiced Pecans (Nuts for the nutty, pecans with a sugar and cinnamon glaze)
  
• Pumpkin Pie (RG is trying a new recipe. Wish her luck.)
  

Oops. Did I say Pumpkin Pie?

I did, didn't I?

I just couldn't resist stealing from the pilgrim tradition.

There's a problem, of course. The Pumpkin Pie has developed a bit of an attitude and is complaining about being on the menu with what he described as "pond scum". I tried to explain that none of the food swims therefore it couldn't be from a pond. I still don't think he understood. I'm not sure I do either.

Reforming Geek sighs in frustration with Pumpkin Pie's snotty attitude.

Wait. Does this pie know my cat?

I countered with offers that his beautiful orange color will be the centerpiece of our meal, telling him that he is certainly the sweetest dish and is a true reflection of the season.

He called me a liar and threatened to hurl himself out of the oven onto the floor. I told him that he'd better clean up his act or I'll tell him where he really comes from:


If the menu caught your interest and you'll be crashing my party, be prepared. I need help with the dishes and there are leaves to rake. That's right. The tree poop (leaves, twigs and other detritus) has taken over again out here. You can have some pie after you finish the work.

Have a great holiday. Be thankful, healthy, happy, and, of course, humorous!

Photo: I'm so thankful for friends that send me Email.

Don't Blame the Dog

A friend sent me an email awhile back. It was a series of photos and the subject was "what chefs do when they're bored". As I started looking through the photos, I realized that most of the food items tend to be a little bit on the....er.....gassy side. That's when my mind went back to junior high and how someone on the bus nearly always farted on the way to school and then to how animals are truly masters at passing gas.

I sure do wish THAT school bus memory would fade away. There was always a mean guy at the back of the bus accusing everyone else of farting. Now that I think about it, he was probably the one doing the farting.

My thinking went downhill from there. Please join me in some silliness. What if the chefs were really thinking about bathroom humor when they did these carvings? The captions might look a bit like this:

Mo-om! Davey is blowing bubbles out his butt again!

We fart in your general direction.

I smell frog. Sheesh! Did one of you eat a
frog from the previous photo?

Eventually, we will evolve and be able to fly.
Here's how you poop on cars.

OOPS! I just crapped my pants.

Next time, take the purple pill before you eat, OK?

I feel much better now. Thanks for letting me get that out of my system (yeah, pun intended).

Cat joins ReformingGeek on couch, rubs face against gray lap beast, curls up, and closes eyes..

DANG! What IS that smell?

Oh. Thanks, Cat.

Photos: Photos of artwork from bored, gassy chefs digesting in the innards of Al Gore's massive Internets.