Friday, February 19, 2010

Anatomically Incorrect

Not only has the weather been incredibly weird around these parts but advertisers are developing bad posture from stooping to new lows to get my attention:

I received an email advertisement with the following words jumbled together in one sentence:
  • dysfunction
  • erectile
  • fallout
  • cough drop
I was very confused as to what was being communicated so I took a few guesses:
  • Tall buildings may cough during earthquakes causing stuff to "fall out".
  • Do not stand erect near a window while having a coughing fit. 
  • Throwing cough drops out of windows as projectiles is an example of dysfunctional behavior.
Yes, I'm sure that's what they meant.

Then I received the following catalog in the mail:

What the boobage?  

This is how you sell bras? 

Apparently.

Notice my own attempts at boobage with my slight alteration to the catalog (two on top and a uniboob on the bottom!).  Hee Hee.  I hope I'm not hurting your eyes or offending you with my "ex-rated" photo. 

SNORT!

Using the word "bounce" to get my attention.....actually worked. 

OUCH!

In other news, guess what we are expecting by mid-week?  You guessed it.  SNOW. 

DANG!

I've given up on the pool guy. He's been replaced by the snow-shoveler guy.    I'm sure you know how it is.  When they get hot from shoveling, they have to take off their shirts revealing a six-pack (yes, abs and beer) and some serious shoulders.  

GOSH DERN IT!  

It's getting warm in here.  Pass me a beer, please.

32 comments:

Quirkyloon said...

Hee hee. Hey I thought you were talking about me when I read "uniboob"!

hee hee hee

Quirkyloon the Uniboober! hee hee hee

And now you'll always be able to say you were the inspiration behind the name!

hee hee hee

Uniboober!

hee hee hee

Quirkyloon said...

Oh and I just thought of something else.

Your title is PERFECT.

Anatomically incorrect = uniboober!

hee hee hee hee hee

Snow Shoveler Marv said...

I'll be down with my shovel ... I accept beer and yummy baked goods as payment, too!

The Old Silly

CatLadyLarew said...

UniBoober... Quirky cracks me up! As do you, dear Reffie! Nobody even bothers to send me bra catalogs anymore. The girls sag so much these days, there ain't much of anything that can do them justice.

I'm off to throw some cough drops out the window now, while standing erectly so I don't fall out. Is that dysfunctional enough for you?

ReformingGeek said...

@Quirky - I will admit I thought about you!

It wasn't the cough drops that made me think of you. It was something else but now I've forgotten. Hum....

@Marvin - Come on down. We are hoping it will just be RAIN!

@CatLady Uh oh. Saggage. Sometimes, it's nice being small. No bounce and very little "saggage".

mama-face said...

How convenient to have an interchangeable pool guy/snow shovel guy. Abs and beer. haha.

LOVE the catalog. What kind of mailing list are you on? My favorite: coconuts. :)

Mary@Holy Mackerel said...

I have 2.5 boobs. I wonder if they have a bra for that? Can you check and get back to me asap? Thanks, chicky!

ReformingGeek said...

@mama-face - It's from an active wear retailer that sells a lot of sports bras. I thought it was hilarious. They are out of California so I shouldn't be too surprised at their approach.

@Mary - 2.5 boobs? Hum..... I would recommend your basic supportive sports bra and just stick that .5 boob up in there somewhere. ;-)

Me-Me King said...

Yes, the weather has been weird everywhere. (It's raining here in the desert as I type.) It seems to bring out the weirdness in a lot of people.

A-hem.

Thanks for the laugh, my day is complete and I can go home now.

♥Georgie♥ said...

LMAO@when they take off their shirts revealing abs abd a 6pack of beer...sounds like my kinda guy!!!

Lauren said...

Unbelievable. You'd think they'd give you a free bra or something. I have a conspiracy theory that boob droop is caused by the bra companies.

Beat me to uniboober. Quirkyloon. : ) Although, does the uniboober send packages with exploding breast implants?

otin said...

I love those ED ads! Especially the warnings. Could you imagine walking into a doctors office and having to tell him that you can't get it down after 4 hours? LMAO!!

Jean Knee said...

boobs


wow

Jean Knee said...

erectile dysfunction



wow

ReformingGeek said...

@Me-me - I'm glad to hear your day is complete. Ahem.

@Georgie - I'll send him up there once he's done down here.

@Lauren - Let's just burn the bras. Oh wait. As for the Uniboober idea, LOL!

@Otin - Oops.

ReformingGeek said...

@jean - Jean commented. wow. ;-)

Tgoette said...

I'm just a sucker for anything boob-related. LOL!

MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings said...

Your dirty pictures are just a way to drive up your readership numbers aren't they? I criticize you for taking the low road, but mostly I'm just mad for not thinking of it myself.

Skye said...

This post cracked me up! The comments are great as well. Here's another set of boobs to go with your Boob magazine :D

( . ) ( . )

Collette said...

Well, I didn't expect that from the description.
We're supposed to get some snow here tomorrow. The past few 40 degree days have melted the rest. Sorry that the snow is confused this year!
I hate bras! Even though I am pretty good sized & a bit saggy, I don't wear one unless it's for work or going somewhere fancy. Lately it's been sweatshirts!lol. (((HUGS)))

ReformingGeek said...

@Tgoette - There were certainly plenty of boobs.....er...bras in that catalog!

@MikeWJ - I guess I'll be writing on the chalkboard 100 times: I will not post about boobs and dysfunction....

@Collette - What? The subject mislead you? Surely not. As for boob freedom, sounds good to me! LOL!

Leeuna said...

Wonder what those ad guys were smokin' when they came up with that campaign?

It's 57 and SUNNY here in my world today. I may crawl out of my burrow and go for a walk later this afternoon.

meleah rebeccah said...

Im praying we DONT get any more snow!!

And the word "bounce" would have gotten my attention too!

ReformingGeek said...

@Leeuna - They're from California. Doesn't that explain it? It's 57 and sunny here, too!

@Meleah - I thought the "bounce" was a bit bold but it worked.

ReformingGeek said...

@Skye - Thanks. Nice "boobs"!

Deb said...

"Dinglebobbers" caught my eye right away, before I even knew this was a booby trap. I've never seen anything like that in my LL Bean catalogs, damn it.

Mrsblogalot said...

Snow-Shoveler guy...mmmmm

Took my mind off the forecast for a few minutes anyway! (-:

ReformingGeek said...

@Deb - That's probably a good thing.

@Mrsblogalot - Yes, a most enjoyable thought.

honeypiehorse said...

Hey there my geeky pal. I was wondering if I could interview you for my talent management blog? honeypiehorse@yahoo.com.

UberGrumpy said...

:) 'Uniboob' enters the rich lexicon. Love it

I wonder if 'cough drop' in your e-mail was actually lifted from 'drop your trousers and cough'. It's a tricky one

ReformingGeek said...

@honeypie - Sure. I'll send you an email.

@Uber - Thanks. Yeah...um....ouch.

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