A Special Tribute and a Whopper Devoured...

I mean the whopper will be revealed.  I must have been hungry when I was typing that title.

Thanks to all of you that tried to guess the untruth from my last post.

I will now reveal the "truth".  Hee Hee.

1.  I played trombone.

I was 12.  I had to be different.  It lasted a week.  Then I got a flute.

2.  I am missing a body part.  

My right kidney became infected when I was a baby.  It abscessed and had to be removed.  If my remaining kidney fails, I'm not worried as I know each one of you would offer me one of yours.
What?

3.  I breathe fire.

Well....I can do the Fire Breath in yoga.  Sizzle.

4.  I can stand on my hands.

Yes, but I like having a wall behind me.

5.  I can program a computer but I have no idea how Hubby connected our entertainment system.

True.  I'm ashamed.

6.  I was invited to an art school one summer.

Yep. I was 10. But I wanted to go to the music school.  ;-(

7.  I think I may have been a pig in a former life.  I sure do like bacon.

FALSE.  I doubt I was a pig.  Maybe I was a lone wolf or a bird or even a lizard.  Actually, I think I'm still on "the island", running around and whispering to those that are left behind, not ready to "move on".

Now for another episode of "The World Turns But Stupid People Never Fall Off".

Yeah, I know that I've never had an episode of "The World Turns But Stupid People Never Fall Off" but work with me here.

Try this at home:  Stand a few feet in front of your vehicle with your back turned.  Have someone get in the vehicle and activate the horn.  Ideally, they don't give you any warning.

Wasn't that nice?

No?

Well, that's what it feels like when you use your horn to say "Howdy" to me as I'm cycling or running.  I'm not talking about "GET OUT OF THEY WAY" greetings or "Oh, Baby, You're Hot" greetings (in my dreams), but the you-think-you're-being-friendly greeting using your car's horn.  There is a reason that thing is LOUD, 'K?

Also, if you're a photographer for a yoga class, NEVER, EVER, EVER take this kind of photo much less post it on the Internet:

No, that's not my class. 

If you've been guilty of these offenses, kick yourself and then enjoy your plaque:

Finally, for those of you that could not find the critter in the photo from the last post, here's a close-up.  Look towards the bottom, in the rocks:

Now, get out there and finish the week with a smile!

Snicker.

Photo credits:  Butt-shot: That's classified.  Special: stolen from the depths of the Internet, Hidden creature:  Reffie

Stupid is the NEW...

Forget that title.

Stupid is still stupid:

Stupid is texting while driving.

Sheesh! I can't even walk and chew jerky at the same time.

Stupid is forgetting your child in the car on a hot day.
How do you forget your child?

Stupid makes the news:

I read an article in the local newspaper (yes, I do that occasionally) about a man that was arrested for taking a picture of another man in the locker room without his permission. Yes, the man was naked. When asked why he took the photo, the suspect said he liked the man's physique. Hum....I wonder if he had nice buns?

There's more. The guy apparently left his camera in the locker room under a bench where it was found by another man and his young son. They discovered photos of sexual acts and the naked dude and the police were called.

In other local news, a lady thwarted a home invasion by throwing billiard balls at the intruders.
I like this women. She's NOT stupid. I think we should have coffee and some buns sometime.

To top off the week, Hubby had arthroscopic surgery on his knee last Wednesday. The doc said he's old (lots of arthritis, possible previous injuries, and a torn meniscus). OUCH! The meniscus has been repaired/removed/replaced with a rubber band and poor Hubby has two little holes in his knee and it's swollen. I'm sure the doc was digging for buns gold in there. Afterall, he has to be pay for his next boat/house/vacation somehow.

For some reason, I seem to be wanting something to eat. Something that you bake.....

Because of the swelling, Hubby gets one of these:


That's right. The super-duper POLARCARE ice unit from Hell. This thing hates me. It splashes water on my floor and carpet, sucks up ice faster than a keg on hot summer night and weighs 50 million pounds.

Yeah. I'm exaggerating but I'm determined to figure out how to manage this thing before Hubby doesn't need it anymore. The geek in me has designed an almost foolproof process:

1. Secure patient in recliner near hearth.


2. Make sure laptop, remote, iPhone, and cordless phone are within reach.
3. Make sure Cat is not within reach. Patient may be tempted to throttle Cat.
4. Unplug device and disconnect device from patient, allowing it to drip all over patient's leg.
5. Remove hose from device and place on towel. Do not strangle patient with hose.
6. Take device outside and dump out the water. Avoid splashing Cat or any other furry beasts. Bring the device back inside and place on hearth.
7. Proceed to your ice storage area that's holding the four 10-pound bags of ice you purchased earlier in the day. Bring back one 10-pound bag. Open the bag using the scissors you have placed at the work site.
8. Pound ice into submission by hurling it against the hearth.
9. Place device on hearth. Pour most of the ice into the device. Fill with water (stored in a handy 1-gallon pitcher) up to the identified line inside the device. Place the pump in the device. Put the lid back on the device.
10. Reconnect patient to the device and plug in the power cord.
11. Push the detonator.

Wait. That last one came out of nowhere. Sorry about that.

It's chilly here this morning but we may get to the see the sun today. That's great because our neighborhood is turning into a lake and I've forgotten what the sun looks like.

Source: locker room photo story and billiard balls story: Fort Worth Star-Telegram

Photo credit: buns: shuttergirl3 on flickr.com, Creative Commons license (see sidebar)