Saturday, October 10, 2009

Stupid is the NEW...

Forget that title.

Stupid is still stupid:

Stupid is texting while driving.
Sheesh! I can't even walk and chew jerky at the same time.

Stupid is forgetting your child in the car on a hot day.
How do you forget your child?



Stupid makes the news:

I read an article in the local newspaper (yes, I do that occasionally) about a man that was arrested for taking a picture of another man in the locker room without his permission. Yes, the man was naked. When asked why he took the photo, the suspect said he liked the man's physique. Hum....I wonder if he had nice buns?

There's more. The guy apparently left his camera in the locker room under a bench where it was found by another man and his young son. They discovered photos of sexual acts and the naked dude and the police were called.

In other local news, a lady thwarted a home invasion by throwing billiard balls at the intruders.
I like this women. She's NOT stupid. I think we should have coffee and some buns sometime.

To top off the week, Hubby had arthroscopic surgery on his knee last Wednesday. The doc said he's old (lots of arthritis, possible previous injuries, and a torn meniscus). OUCH! The meniscus has been repaired/removed/replaced with a rubber band and poor Hubby has two little holes in his knee and it's swollen. I'm sure the doc was digging for buns gold in there. Afterall, he has to be pay for his next boat/house/vacation somehow.

For some reason, I seem to be wanting something to eat. Something that you bake.....

Because of the swelling, Hubby gets one of these:


That's right. The super-duper POLARCARE ice unit from Hell. This thing hates me. It splashes water on my floor and carpet, sucks up ice faster than a keg on hot summer night and weighs 50 million pounds.

Yeah. I'm exaggerating but I'm determined to figure out how to manage this thing before Hubby doesn't need it anymore. The geek in me has designed an almost foolproof process:

1. Secure patient in recliner near hearth.


2. Make sure laptop, remote, iPhone, and cordless phone are within reach.
3. Make sure Cat is not within reach. Patient may be tempted to throttle Cat.
4. Unplug device and disconnect device from patient, allowing it to drip all over patient's leg.
5. Remove hose from device and place on towel. Do not strangle patient with hose.
6. Take device outside and dump out the water. Avoid splashing Cat or any other furry beasts. Bring the device back inside and place on hearth.
7. Proceed to your ice storage area that's holding the four 10-pound bags of ice you purchased earlier in the day. Bring back one 10-pound bag. Open the bag using the scissors you have placed at the work site.
8. Pound ice into submission by hurling it against the hearth.
9. Place device on hearth. Pour most of the ice into the device. Fill with water (stored in a handy 1-gallon pitcher) up to the identified line inside the device. Place the pump in the device. Put the lid back on the device.
10. Reconnect patient to the device and plug in the power cord.
11. Push the detonator.

Wait. That last one came out of nowhere. Sorry about that.

It's chilly here this morning but we may get to the see the sun today. That's great because our neighborhood is turning into a lake and I've forgotten what the sun looks like.

Source: locker room photo story and billiard balls story: Fort Worth Star-Telegram

Photo credit: buns: shuttergirl3 on flickr.com, Creative Commons license (see sidebar)

32 comments:

Nooter said...

"death from above" ha ha ha!

howcome you have a fireplace if you live in hot texas? unless you dont really live in hot texas, and then we have to wonder what else youve been, umm, elusive about. like that guys leg, is that really hubby (is there actually even a hubby?) or could it possibly be the reported missing fedex man in that area? how many copies of the movie 'misery' did you say you owned?

ReformingGeek said...

@Nooter - I would love to trade the fireplace for a basement. That would be a much better place to hold the prisoners.

Quirkyloon said...

Heh heh heh!

Poor hubs, but dare I write the following?

Oh yeah, I'm gonna.

At least he doesn't have a torn peniscus! With two holes, etc., etc., etc.,!

Ha!

CatLadyLarew said...

"Shame on you Quirky!", (she says as she howls hysterically!)

You left out step #12... after detonating device, lock yourself in bedroom with bottle of wine and a good book.

Me-Me King said...

In the infamous words of Forest Gump, "Stupid is as stupid does." If I had found that camera, I would have resorted to blackmail - both the camera owner and the naked man.

Chaotically Calm said...

Hola Reforming,

I find it interesting that the man left his naked pic camera behind but stupider things have happened. I also find it interesting that the father and his son were so nosy and looked through random person's left behind camera on the floor. Of course I assume if I found someone's camera on the floor in the locker room I might give it a looksie! On second thought I probably wouldn't I would have just left it at the front desk and said hey someone left her camera in the locker room.

Outside of the naked pic of the guy he didn't know if the sex related act pics were of consenting adults I don't understand what the man with the left behind camera is getting charged with...granted my judgment could be warped. I'm just thinking of myself here but there are so not so decent pics in my camera that I don't want others to see but then again I also keep it close to me at all times to avoid such situations. Maybe it's time to hit delete after reading this.

Also tell Mr. Reforming to be due dilligent in rehab so he regains fucntion back in his knee. This is probably preaching to the choir knowing how active you two are but as a former work comp adjuster you see some folk who don't take physical therapy seriously and pay for it in loss of function once the scar tissue heals following surgery.

Oh and the billiards woman deserves a metal and a party...booyah!!!!

Chief said...

I am so worried about this post because my husband has to get his entire knee replaced and i have been dreading what that will mean for the rest of us!

ReformingGeek said...

@Quirky - Oh, you shouldn't have!

@CatLady - Wine sounds good!

@Me-Me - I want a cut! ;-)

@Chaotic - Maybe it was the kid that just started looking before his father could intervene. Who knows. I think the man is being charged because he took a picture of a guy naked without his permission.

Hubby is good about rehab. Thanks!!!

@Chief - The knee replacement will be a bit rough for you guys I'm sure. He won't be able to put weight on it for awhile. At least with this, Hubby can put weight on his leg and hobble around!

Bee said...

It was 33 degrees when I woke up this morning. The weather for our hike was 45. I love it!

Tell your husband I said nice legs! :o)

Hit 40 said...

i am careful not to leave my blogging notes behind!!! I would hate for a coworker to find them. The horror!!! But leaving behind nudie illegal pictures?? This is just karma biting him on his perverted naked ass.

....leaving kids behind in a hot car? I have never understood this mistake either. Some also leave them out over night when they are drunk!!! Very sad

Sue said...

I'm with Nooter - a fireplace in Texas? You have to address this.

I hope Hubby gets better!

Otin said...

Billiard balls would hurt, that's for sure!!!

ReformingGeek said...

@Bee - Brrrrrr

@Hit40 - I'm sure there is more to the story but it's still pretty crazy to me.

@Sue - Thanks. As for the fireplace, believe it or not, all the houses have them and some people actually use them!!!!

@Otin - Yeah. They could do more than hurt! The cops told her she should have called 911. Sheesh!

Skye said...

Now all I need to do is get some billiard balls to keep on hand in case someone tries to break in. Nah, having Lucifer around is more fun :D

Tell Hubby that I hope his knee is better real soon!

Jean Knee said...

I also have a fire place

and a husband

and ice in the freezer

wow

Deb said...

RG! Quick! Delete that photo of the the FedEx guy's knees and put one of hubby's knees on the blog before he sees! I can't believe you did that!

Marvin D Wilson said...

"Sigh, yes," said Forest Gump as he quoted his mom again, "stupid is as stupid does."

Fun post, reforming one. ;)

The Old Silly

ReformingGeek said...

@Skye - I think Lucifer will take care of things!

@Jean - Fancy that.

@Deb - There you go; telling all my secrets. Sheesh!

@Marvin - So true. Thanks.

Collette said...

OK. Step #2 you forgot the small refrigerator & bedpan :)
Steps 4-10-Whatever happend to a good old bag of frozen peas??
My mom-in-law just had her knee replaced Tuesday & my daugter spent the weekend helping her out. I don't think she can get around much yet, but those docs make you try to walk just hours after surgery these days.
Lastly, didn't know fed-ex guys could wear their shorts THAT short...lol! I know they're not UPS or postal because of the shorts. (My hubby is postal! ;)

Jacki said...

That first story is just weird and creepy.

I hope your hubby recovers, and that you survive the ordeal as well!

ReformingGeek said...

@Collete - ;-) I'm glad he's able to hobble around. He would hate sitting still for so long.

That poor fedex guy..

@Jacki - Thanks. Yes, that is really creepy. I can't imagine someone taking a photo of another person in a locker room. Too weird.

Me-Me King said...

Big news, really big news over at The Screaming Me-Me!!!

Harlem's A Hatin said...

LOL, do not strangle patient with hose!!!

http://harlemshaterade.blogspot.com

ReformingGeek said...

@Me-me King - Yeehaw!

@Harlem - hehe

mama-face said...

Get him all set up and you can take off for the day.

Okay, the story about the man in the locker room made me throw up. ewwwwwww...

I've heard about camera's being hidden in public TOILETS. Whoever is doing that deserves exactly what he (always a he, right?) gets.

Jordasche Bledsoe said...

That bites! I hope your hubby gets to feeling better asap. I love that the lady threw the balls at the intruder I would have done the same thing. You're right - that's smart! The other guy, ugg, idiot.

I Wonder Wye said...

I have a lot of true stupid stories on my blog -- truth being stranger than ficture, and often way more fun! Hope hubby feels better and is hobbling around soon....

mwaybob said...

I send the rays of setherus our holy whippet to sooth thoust hubbies pains

The Constant Complainer said...

Poor hubby. That machine looked crazy. I hope he's feeling better too.

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