Monday, October 5, 2009

Where the WILD Chelles Are

This is so exciting. Humor Bloggers dot com is hosting a roasting event this week. Chelle, from The Offended Blogger, and Da Old Man, from Crotchety Old Man Yells at Cars, will be cooked. After a little sleuthing, I'll be serving Chelle over rice today.

I love cooking. My kitchen is all organized, my seasonings are out in those cute little bowls, and I just finished watching Big Brother boot out the chef on Hell's Kitchen after the contestants whacked a pinata of Rachael Ray to bits. Wait. I don't think I got that quite right....

Sigh. It's probably best that I stick to the subject.

I put on my best sleuthing outfit and off I went to look for some dirt on
Chelle. She gives us the impression that she is this blond chic from Idaho who likes horses and Jesus tacos and has a problem with her head. This woman is a few trees short of a forest but contrary to what we've heard she obviously loves trees and spotted owls and such:

I luv me some trees and owl is oh so tasty!

A few days later, I saw a different side of Chelle. She has a very strange hobby. That's right. She likes to play dress-up and the costume below must be one of her favorites. I followed her from her ranch one day. She grabbed her rifle, hopped on her horse, and rode into the forest. I lost her for a few minutes (that must have been when she changed into her costume) but I soon picked up her trail. I'm sure she intended to find food for the family (her rifle must be hidden inside the costume) but she was distracted by a device that claimed tacos were inside of it. Here's the photos:

Jesus? Tacos? Me want.

I need to spend some time in the weight room. This is tough.

It took her awhile to get the thing open and then.... THERE WERE NO TACOS! I've never seen a bear girl so angry. The photographers I hired were taken in two quick gulps. Dessert was the chocolate syrup inside the can.

I'll settle for chocolate to help with the digestion.

She was very convincing and since I'm afraid of bears, I crapped my pants grabbing the cameras before they could be eaten. I had to be excused so I could not confront her with this madness.

Now you know. I'm always amazed at what I find on my sleuthing trips.

I've had so much fun today. I think Chelle is about cooked and ready to serve. Would you like calf fries with that?

Check out
Humor Bloggers dot com and Sanity on Edge for links to additional Chelle roasts.

Photo credits: spylady:, treehugger: merwing*little dear on, Creative Commons license (see sidebar), Chelle/bears: Martha Simmons while on tour in Montana


CatLadyLarew said...

Roast her, toast her and take her out for tacos!

Quirkyloon said...

Ha! Rachael Ray pinata? Love it! I want one!

That was very funny GF! Very funny! Me likey!

nonamedufus said...

Good one RG. I could bear-ly contain myself!

Nooter said...

hey geek, youre in the news!

ReformingGeek said...

@Catlady - Umm....tacos!

@Quirky - Thanks! We could make a RR pinata, 'K?

@noname - Thanks. It was fun to put together!

@Nooter - Ah, Nooter. Don't be spilling my secrets....or my pool balls. ;-) Yep. That's about 20 minutes away from where I live. I say GO GIRL GO!

♥georgie♥ said...

LOL@ and I just finished watching Big Brother boot out the chef on Hell's Kitchen after the contestants whacked a pinata of Rachael Ray to bits

You are such a great roaster!!! Hope Chelle enjoys it!

Marvelous Marvin said...

Jesus! This Chelle is all over bloggydom today! lol - pretty cool group of bloggy buds you hang with. Loved the post - Quirksters was way cool, too.

The Old Silly

ReformingGeek said...

@georgie - Thanks! Yeah. Poor Rachael. hehe

@Marvin - Thanks! Bloggers are great!

Deb said...

I knew that head case Chelle liked to run bear ass through the woods.

otin said...

I need to go to her site. I follow it, but have not been there in a long time!

ReformingGeek said...

@Deb - Yep, and I proved it!

@otin - It's a great offensive!

Donna said...

Love the photos of the bear.I also like the littlesayings under them.I just can't help it.I am one for the wildlife.LOVE IT.Hope you enjoy the roast.

mama-face said...

How dare you insult my RR! Boooooo!!

(I'm only saying that to draw attention to myself. She's like fingernails on a chalkboard. I have the RR pinata on backorder)

What does your best sleuthing outfit look like? Where's the picture of that? And what do your photographers charge?

LOL---one of your best posts evah. Hopefully none of your photographers are stalking me today...

ReformingGeek said...

@Donna - Thank you. They are so fun to do.

@mama-face - Thanks! Only The Shadow knows who will be next to be "stalked".

VE said...

Be sure to roast her with potatoes...she is from Idaho you know.

Jean Knee said...

is it just me or is her head abnormally large?

Collette said...

What do you put in a Chelle bear's mouth when you roast it? I know you put an apple in a pig's mouth. Hmmm...

ReformingGeek said...

@VE - That's right. Forget the calf fries!

@Jean - Yeah. Strange, huh?

@Collette - Hum...a photographer?

Hit 40 said...

My fat assed cat Tigger can get any tupperware open.

The Offended Blogger said...

I finally got over to read this and now I am lol'ing so loud it is waking the hubs. I loved it, even my big head (which will be a wee bit smaller in January heh).

Thanks for the roast! :)

"1.00s, 1.50s, 1.75s for the short arms. If you know what I'm talking about, you're probably old, too."

"Boomer brain fog: What was the last, middle, and first part of what you just said to me?"