Sunday, October 18, 2009

Three Times a Crazy Lady

I've got one more week until my first triathlon. Besides being able to actually swim, cycle, and run, I probably need to figure out how to transition from swimming to biking and from biking to running. Yes, I've seen the videos on youtube (geek, Geek, GEEK) but I've decided to practice here with you guys here in good ol' Blogville:

The first part of the race is the swimming. Fortunately, this event will be inside in a pool that Michael Phelps could leap in a single bound. The issue is that I don't swim like Michael Phelps.

RG, you should grow some gills but if that doesn't work out, DO NOT breathe the water when coming up for air. Remember you can always grab the side and gasp loudly for air between laps. Just don't puke OK?


Once I emerge from the swimming pool with all limbs attached and functioning, I will need to hustle to the transition area and find my bike:

Where's Waldo's bike?


Then it's time to remove the swimsuit.

Um,wait. Let me try that again. Actually, I'll remove my top layer of swimwear and put on this:

AARGGGHH!


Where's the pirate geek?

That's right. Costumes are allowed and encouraged. Hum...this costume needs a sword or something. I wonder if weapons are allowed.

How are you going to get your helmet on over that fluffy red thing?
You might want to save the wig for the run, Sweetie.

Prior to the race, my shoes and socks will be in front of my bike ready to go. My water bottle will be on the bike and my GU (nutrition) taped to the handlebars. My sunglasses will be inside my helmet and the helmet on the handlebars.


It's time to get going.

You need to figure out how to apply lipstick while biking. If you had been one of those girls that put on her makeup in the car while driving to and from school/work, this would be easy for you!

After finishing the biking portion of the race, again, with all limbs in place and functioning, and preferably without any road rash, I'll park the bike in the transition area, TAKE OFF MY HELMET, and start running.

You need to have a talk with your legs prior to finishing the biking part of the race. Talk sweetly and tell them how wonderful they are, how well they've done so far, and how you really need them to function once you start running. I sure hope your legs listen better than your cat does.

OK. I think that's about it. Now I'm hoping for good weather!

Hum...if the weather's bad, just roll over and go back to sleep, 'K?


Photo credits: transition area: ditr05_0012 on flickr.com, Creative Commons license (see sidebar), pirate geek: Hubby

37 comments:

Mandie Reed said...

love your costume geek girl!

Quirkyloon said...

You look great in that costume GF! And you will do great in the triathlon!

I know you will, cuz doggone it,

You've run enough,
You've swum enough,
And doggone it, your bike likes you!

hee hee

Me-Me King said...

I love your costume matey. Good luck in the triathlon!

ReformingGeek said...

@Mandie - Thanks!

@Quirky - Thanks, Quirks! I need all the support I can get.

@Me-Me King - Thanks!

otin said...

Kinda silly to throw away a good bike and start running?? LOL!

Nooter said...

arrgh. if ye be a pirate ye best be chasin and not runnin away from. arrgh

ReformingGeek said...

@otin - I guess that's what you do when you get caught stealing. ;-)

@Nooter - Arrgh.

Marvin D Wilson said...

LOVIN the outfit! LOL. Hey go for it, gf - wish I hadn't blown my knees out as a younger addicted runner or I'd be doing the same thing. And hey - no chickening out if the weather is not nice!

The Old Silly

BlackLOG said...

Hope your transition goes better than mine Triathlon traumas .

If I were you I would so use a sword.

Anyone who looks like overtaking you, slash another competitor down.

I bet after the first couple of competitors had gone down you would have very few trying to get past you and could ease your way to Victory...

Your competition sounds more fun than ours, we had all sorts of rules like being disqualified for being naked in transition. It didn't say anything about during the running, cycling or swimming, unfortunately no one tried to test that rule. Actually when I think about it I should have said fortunately because everyone knows it is only the fat and ugly who ever get naked in these situations...

CatLadyLarew said...

What? Why do they have the swimming part first? Then you'll be all squishy on your bike. The swimming should be last so you can be all refreshed with the cold water.

And I think BlackLog's idea of using the sword to take out anyone who gets too close is excellent! Or at least throw the wig in a competitor's spokes.

Don said...

Even before I had begun to read this post I saw that picture of you and thought "Greg Lamond". Instantly. Then I thought "She's in trouble." Instantly.

ReformingGeek said...

@Marvin - Arrgh! Thanks and I'll try not to wimp out.

@BlackLOG - I enjoyed your triathlon post. I may have to think about that sword. Also, I think I'll pass on naked and you are right. I don't want to see the ones that aren't bothered with nakedness.

@CatLady - I'll be glad to get the swimming over with as it's my weakest area (and probably is for most people). I paid too much for that wig to use it as a weapon! ;-)

@Don - I'm so glad you are able to think of things "instantly".

Deb said...

Good luck! I overnighted my mask, snorkel and swim fins to you for the swimming part. Oh yeah, there's some Gold Bond powder 'cause cycling in wet under swimwear dressed as a pirate can't be good. The parrot for your shoulder should arrive the day before the big race.

You did get a bike, right?

Jacki said...

Hahahha....LOVE the costume!

I applaud you for entering and participating in a triathalon. I don't even own a bike and shy away from most forms of physical activity that have to do with sports or exercising.

ReformingGeek said...

@Deb - Oh, Deb. You shouldn't have. No really. Except for the bird. That thing might come in handy. I can see it now: BWAAAAAKKK! OUTTA MY WAY, BWAAAAAKKK!

Yep. I have a bike now. ;-)

@Jacki - Thanks. I'm not an athlete but I pretend to be one on television....

Bee said...

You are one hot tamale!

Can I talk you out of all that excersise and work? Or maybe I'll just cheer you on while I'm scarfing down some brownies and sitting on my couch?

Nanodance said...

That is pretty darn fabulous. Good luck!!!

ReformingGeek said...

@Bee - Save a brownie or me, 'K?

@Nanodance - Thanks!

Jean Knee said...

it all seems so un natural, against nature like.

just wrong

Jean Knee said...

the running and swimming and stuff, not your hair

Jean Knee said...

the running and swimming and stuff, not your hair

Jean Knee said...

really

ReformingGeek said...

@Jean - Are you sure?

Hit 40 said...

What a great idea wearing a mask while you run!! I might run a marathon too if no one could see who the chunky out of breath middle aged woman was!!!

The Constant Complainer said...

Sorry that I've been away.

I continue to be impressed with your training and participation in a triathlon.

And yes, the costume rocks. Go with it.

ReformingGeek said...

@Hit40 - At least it will hide my wrinkles!

@Constant - Thanks! I know. Life gets in the way. Sigh.

Prefers Her Fantasy Life said...

Good luck. It's awesome that you're doing this.

And I don't mean to be crude, but since you mentioned putting on lipstick while riding, I'm kind of wondering how a woman would change her...you know...if it happened to be that time of the month?

Chaotically Calm said...

Hola RG,

Now the costume...hilarious should make for an interesting race. I wish you much luck and I am keeping my fingers crossed that you get a ridonkulously glorious day to race (sometimes mother nature and I are on the same page).

ReformingGeek said...

@Prefers - Thanks. As for the "issue", I guess your transition would have to include a stop to the portable potty box and then hope for the best!

@Chaotic - Thanks. I'm trying to be special nice to Mrs. N. this week hoping for a nice day in return.

honeypiehorse said...

You go, girl!

mama-face said...

I am so excited for you; And incredibly impressed. I watched a triathlon once; wow, I was plumb wore out.

Yay. Go RG!!!

ReformingGeek said...

@honeypie - Thanks!

@mama-face - Thanks. I need a swift kick in the a**. ;-) I'm tired this week. I hope I get some energy back before Sunday!

Maureen said...

Arr! You best be on the lookout for Captain Jack, then chase him. You'll do well fer sure! (Love the costume!)

(BTW, you are insane, did I mention that??? Holy crap, I could never in a bazzillion years do a triathalon).

Good luck!

ReformingGeek said...

@Maureen - Thanks. Yes. I know I'm insane. Tic. Tic.

ettarose said...

I say hat's off to you girl. I barely have enough energy to raise a fork to my lips. Exercise is yucky! Good luck sweety!

K a b l o o e y said...

I have to concede: I would quit after being told I had to remove my swimsuit at the "transition area," unless that was where my cellulite would transition into taut, muscular thighs and a bubble butt. Nah, not really, because I do know that's not at all the point, empowerment, beauty in all shapes and sizes, strength is beauty, you go, girl... but still, I'm shy. Couldn't they appoint volunteer towel-holders? Then I'm down! Except for the swimming and the running.
BEST OF LUCK TO YOU AND YOUR PARROT.

ReformingGeek said...

@etta - Thanks. I will need it.

@Kablooey - Thanks. Don't worry. I will have on layers. No naked geek in the transition area. Sorry guys.


"1.00s, 1.50s, 1.75s for the short arms. If you know what I'm talking about, you're probably old, too."

"Boomer brain fog: What was the last, middle, and first part of what you just said to me?"