The first part of the race is the swimming. Fortunately, this event will be inside in a pool that Michael Phelps could leap in a single bound. The issue is that I don't swim like Michael Phelps.
RG, you should grow some gills but if that doesn't work out, DO NOT breathe the water when coming up for air. Remember you can always grab the side and gasp loudly for air between laps. Just don't puke OK?
Once I emerge from the swimming pool with all limbs attached and functioning, I will need to hustle to the transition area and find my bike:
Then it's time to remove the swimsuit.
Um,wait. Let me try that again. Actually, I'll remove my top layer of swimwear and put on this:
That's right. Costumes are allowed and encouraged. Hum...this costume needs a sword or something. I wonder if weapons are allowed.
How are you going to get your helmet on over that fluffy red thing? You might want to save the wig for the run, Sweetie.
Prior to the race, my shoes and socks will be in front of my bike ready to go. My water bottle will be on the bike and my GU (nutrition) taped to the handlebars. My sunglasses will be inside my helmet and the helmet on the handlebars.
It's time to get going.
You need to figure out how to apply lipstick while biking. If you had been one of those girls that put on her makeup in the car while driving to and from school/work, this would be easy for you!
After finishing the biking portion of the race, again, with all limbs in place and functioning, and preferably without any road rash, I'll park the bike in the transition area, TAKE OFF MY HELMET, and start running.
You need to have a talk with your legs prior to finishing the biking part of the race. Talk sweetly and tell them how wonderful they are, how well they've done so far, and how you really need them to function once you start running. I sure hope your legs listen better than your cat does.
OK. I think that's about it. Now I'm hoping for good weather!
Hum...if the weather's bad, just roll over and go back to sleep, 'K?
Photo credits: transition area: ditr05_0012 on flickr.com, Creative Commons license (see sidebar), pirate geek: Hubby