Injustice Exposed: And the Password Is...

Thanks to all of you that commented on my Veterans Day post. What a great response and shout out for veterans. Now I must look for some funny. I love to laugh but one can only look at so many cute animal pictures and watch so much Big Bang Theory and 2.5 Men and a Baby.

Uh, ReformingGeek?

Yes.

That's not the name of the show.

I know. I'm trying to make a joke. Would you just laugh already?


Do you ever feel you are on the outside looking for the inside? Are you wanting to know how to fit in or are you figuring out if you even care about finding your niche in life? Everyone else is a member of some special "club" and you are....er....well.....just you.

Well?

This post will answer none of those questions.

As part of the fight against injustice, I've joined forces with Humor Bloggers Dot Com to expose the greatest criminal organizations in the history of our country.

That's right. I've discovered that this country is full of secret societies and they all have some special means of communication that is baffling to the common geek:

1. Country Folk.

When you live in the country, and you encounter a neighbor while driving, you give "the country wave", a full wave if you're a plebe or a slight head nod or finger lift if you're an oldie.
That's right. A secret sign letting everyone know you're part of the club, just like them.

Wait. What club? I'm a little scared. I just watched the pilot of the new (new old show) V and we all now that there are zombies out there.


2. Jeep owners.

Apparently, all jeep owners have to wave or nod to each other while on the road. Hubby says "It's a Jeep thing. You wouldn't understand." Yeah, right. I think he stole that from a bumper sticker. Jeep owners seem to be part of a club that supports the tow truck industry.



3. Shrunken Car Red Hat Society.

Theses are the folks that drive Smart Cars and wear red hats.

Uh, ReformingGeek?

Yes.

Were they wearing purple with their red hats?

Oh, PU-LEASE! They weren't wearing red hats, OK? I'm just kidding. Let me get on with it, OK?

Anywho, these drivers are out of proportion compared to their cars, appearing as giants in too-small prisons. They look like they should be pushing those things around a Hot Wheels track. Not only do these folks wave or nod, they toot. No, I'm not talking about passing gas. They honk their horns at the other Smart Car drivers.

What the noise? They need to get over themselves before my mid-size SUV runs over them. What club are they in anyway? Some kind of hive? Are these just the scout cars I'm seeing?


4. The Masons

I have no clue. Like I said, it's a secret. I have no idea what these folks do behind closed doors. Maybe they try on women's underwear and take photos for Facebook.

Kidding. Kidding. Please do not throw mason jars at me, OK?

Yeah, I know that was bad.

5. Tree huggers.

Oh, wait. I should know this secret. I like trees and cute little animals and yoga, but I apparently didn't stand in the correct line to get the sign. I don't wear a turban, carry a PETA sign, or go around bowing and saying "Namaste" to everyone I meet.

Oh,well. I'm just a square geek in a round world.

**Sighs**

The injustice of it all.

Photo: The Internets coughed it up when I typed the secret code into the Google.

A Hallowing Halloween Graveyard Visit

Welcome to the Humor Bloggers dot com Halloween Carnival [insert evil laugh here]. Besides being attacked by vampires and zombies this week, I've read some incredibly spooky ghost stories and a few hilarious poems. I'm starting to have nightmares from the poems.

I've got a little something up my sleeve today. Since I will be leaving town on Halloween, I borrowed a watch from *Dumbledore and programmed it to jump forward to next week so I could find out what happens on Halloween night. I somehow landed in a graveyard and this is what I saw:

• Hungry zombies. My Evil Twin fed them Cat. Poor kitty. I shall miss the whining, vacuum-stopping-up beastoid.

• Restless spirits. I'm fairly certain that one of them was Michael Jackson and another may have been my dad, carrying a roll of duct tape.
  

• Fresh graves. As I got a little closer, I noticed a common theme. Maybe you bloggers should be extra careful this week. **Sniff**
  

Oh no! Poor Otin:

Um....that's a little scary. Have you read his stories over at Wizard of Otin? If you go over there, leave the lights on while you read.


Around the corner, I saw this:

DANG! Not Meg from Prefers her Fantasy Life. I loved hearing about her fantasies and I never got a chance to roast her. I'm sure she would have been tasty.


Then I found this one and starting crying:

Uh oh. Poor Quirkster. She was my bestest blogging loon. I shall miss her.

Then I noticed her new neighbor:

YIKES! This is unbelievable. I remember Deb saying she didn't like cats. On the bright side, no more bad hair days up on the Maine coast.


Here's another one. Oh, this is really awful. Poor Mama-face.


PHEW! I'm glad that one was a false alarm. What an odd joke..... Never fear. She is still hard at work over at Blog Ignoramus.

I hope what I've seen doesn't come true. These are really great folks. Maybe it was just the stupid watch. I might have had better luck with the **Doctor's TARDIS!

*Harry and Hermione used the watch in The Prisoner of Azkaban. If you don't know what this is, it's possible that a zombie has already eaten part of your brain or you've been in a coma for the past ten years or you're a normal person... No, that can't be it.

**Doctor Who can time travel in this machine that looks like a British Telephone box. If you don't know what this is, it's possible a zombie has already eaten part of your brain or you have a life and don't watch British television... No, that can't be it.

Check out Humor Bloggers dot com for more Halloween fun this week!

Tombstones courtesy of Evil Twin and tombstonebuilder.com.

Geek Morphs into Zombie Poet

My BBFF (Best Blogging Friend Forever), Quirky, is having a contest this weekend. She is challenging her readers to write a poem about zombies. She said something about prizes. I'm hoping that the prize is a place in her climate-controlled bunker out in the Arizona desert. We need someplace to hide from those ferocious Arizona tornadoes...

OK, maybe it's more likely that we need to hide from the zombies. Cat would be very helpful in the bunker. He would make sure it is kept clear of all small rodents and larger bugs.

I think I'm off topic here....

The problem is that I've been zombie fodder for awhile now. Bits and pieces of my brain seem to have disappeared. I've already forgotten what this post is supposed to be about.

Oh yeah. A novel about zombies.

No, ReformingGeek, no. A POEM!

Oh. Right. Here goes:

O howz I love thee, letz me countz zee vays.

No, ReformingGeek, no. Quirky already did that one.

Oh. Right.

OK. Consider yourself warned. Here's my final answer:

Roses are red, violets are blue (great start, huh?)
The undead of the night are wanting for you.

Creatures known as zombies with bodies craving
Without a spirit to guide them, they are certainly misbehaving.

Count your fingers, count your toes.
Oh Dearz, have they taken your nose?

Where's little Johnny and his pet sheep Dan
Oopz! It looks like Johnny's in the frying pan.

ENOUGH, REFORMINGGEEK, ENOUGH!

OK. OK. Sorry, and no, I wasn't drinking.

Contest details can be found here. I hope you enjoyed your weekend poetry reading.