It's Not a Roast, but it is a CROC!

I owe everyone who visited during the Virtual Road Trip a humble apology. I forgot a very important delicacy, a very special treat for all of my guests. I don't understand how I missed this opportunity:

Thank you Star-Telegram for the photo!

Recently, a few miles outside of downtown Cowtown, this poor fella did not make it across a busy street. Yes, I know that it's an alligator not a crocodile. Silly thing. He must have thought the creek was deeper on the other side of the street. Sheesh! I guess when you're 10 feet long, you'd want to find the biggest creek. This unfortunate creature's demise is my good luck. Coming soon, updates to ReformingGeek's Roadkill cookbook, on sale now for only $1.99. Check out unique but delicious recipes for alligator strips, alligator dumplings, alligator rings, and a special Father's Day recipe for grilled alligator. Oh yeah. It doesn't get much better than this!

But wait. There's more.

I pulled out my spy scope and the GOOGLE and tracked down Guido. Guido has some special....um....talents (NO, NOT THAT!) and he helped me with some items I now have for sale on an Etsy site. Yep. Don't miss out on a pair of alligator roper boots, a couple of belts, and....

Uh, ReformingGeek?

Yes?

Shut up. You're not supposed to let people know about OUR secrets, OK?

Oh, well, OK. Sorry. I got carried away.

In other news, I noticed that a few of you were not familiar with the very tasty dessert sopapillas that we have here in Texas and that I referenced in our tour of Cowtown. If I thought they would keep, I would make you some and send them to you but since they're fried and with this heat, they would be a gooey, stinky mess by the time they got to you. You might be able to use them to throw at an unsuspecting co-worker.

Basically, it's fried bread. They are similar to Indian bread but a little lighter in texture. The basic ingredients are flour, baking powder, shortening, and evaporated milk. They are rolled out, cut into squares and then fried in hot oil. In Texas, they are served as dessert usually with butter and honey and sometimes with a strawberry or other fruit sauce on top. Sprinkling with cinnamon and sugar is also common.

Hum... It looks like a scoop of ice cream and some whipped cream is on that plate in the picture. WHEW! SUGAR HIGH! I have a recipe but I'm not that great with my Fry Daddy but I'll gladly let you try. Let me know if you would like the recipe.

In New Mexico, they are served with the meal (I originally wrote mail???) without any sprucing up with cinnamon/sugar or fruit sauces. Honey and butter are available and the purpose is to offset the spicy New Mexico chiles used in their dishes. These are actually my favorites. We make quite a few trips to Santa Fe so if you need restaurant suggestions, I've got them!

Last and probably least, for those of you that don't know what calf-fries are, I hope you have a strong stomach. Click here if you dare. Ha! Chickens! Wimps! Now did you look?

Anyone hungry yet?

Have a great weekend and Happy Father's Day to all you dads and yes, you're a dad even if you only have a pup, kitty, or alligator.

Virtual Tour Day 2: Cowtown Classics

Welcome to Day 2 of our tour of Cowtown (Fort Worth), Texas, one of the stops on the Humor Bloggers Dot Com Virtual Road Trip. If you want to see where we've been and where we're going, click here.

Let's get the show started.

GOOD MORNING, VIETNAM!

Oh wait. Wrong movie. Sorry about that.

It's time to RISE and SHINE. I've made breakfast:

Photo: some email

Oh, wait. That's not right. Wrong meal.

THIS is breakfast:

Photo: ReformingGeek. Yum!

Since you guys are special and this is a special occasion, I've made my famous breakfast burritos (bacon, egg, and cheese), with some salsa of course! This is usually a "weekends only" breakfast so you should feel honored.

Since I was kind enough to make you breakfast, here's a rake. Remember that mess out back from yesterday? Please rake it up in nice neat piles and get it done quickly. We've got a busy day ahead.

Fast forward 30 minutes.

WOW! You guys did great. Thanks so much for helping out.

Now, let's get going. We are going to visit the Fort Worth Zoo this morning. Please be careful. I know you guys are funny but the animals might not think so. Keep your hands to yourself and don't make silly faces, OK? Also, please DO NOT dispose of misbehaving children in the lion's den.

Photo: zyada on flickr.com

Photo: zyada on flickr.com

Wasn't that fun? I do apologize for that zebra. How rude. And those elephants must have thought you needed to cool off.

You're probably getting as hungry as some of those critters. I know I am.

Lunch today will be some good ole southern cooking. We're having chicken fried steak, white gravy, a couple of side dishes and some banana pudding for dessert. Hubby recommends Massey's, a little hole-in-the-wall place south of downtown, a couple of miles from the zoo. It's been around forever. Believe it or not, I've NEVER been there and I've been around forever.

Now that our arteries are clogged, let's take a walk around the Fort Worth Botanical Garden.

Photo: Miss Shari on flickr.com

I'm so glad we've got a few minutes to walk round the various gardens with all the pretty spring blooms. It's been way too long since I've been here.

Next up is a little culture, quickly browsing one of several museums in the "museum district". Let's do a whirlwind tour of the Kimbell Art Museum.

WHEW! That was tough and I like art. HEY! WAKE UP out there.

We're moving again. We don't have Princeton, but we do have Texas Christian University (TCU). We've got time for a quick tour of TCU, home of the purple horned frogs. Oh, wait. That can't be right, can it? I know that they are really into purple and they are the Horned Frogs. Go figure.

Photo: Wikipedia

Photo: ChrisMPowell, flickr.com

They are offering a wine-tasting event this afternoon. We are joining them and will probably be a little wobbly afterwards. We'll need to catch the bus to dinner. I hope you're hungry.

For a nice send-off, I'm taking you to a fun place in the heart of downtown Fort Worth. It used to be on the top floor of the tall building in this photo:

Photo: some photo airline operating back in 2000

Yes, those buildings are damaged. After the tornado in March of 2000, they rebuilt the restaurant, Reata, here (notice the nice rooftop!):

Photo: members.virtualtours.com

The inside is tastefully (that may be debatable) furnished with western decor. We wouldn't want you to forget where you are, right? Let's start with an order of calf-fries. Don't worry. I'll also order some steaks and plenty of beer to help you eat the calf-fries. You DO know what they are, don't you?


Those two days went by fast. It's time for me to drop you at the airport for your flight to Phoenix, AZ to visit MadMadMargo! Thank you for stopping in for a big Texas Howdy! **HUGS**

Have a good flight!

Flickr photos: flickr.com photos used by permission of photographer (zyada is my SIL and she takes great pictures!) or via Creative Commons licensing (see sidebar).

Virtual Tour Day 1: Cowtown on a Budget!

Welcome! You've just stumbled upon the Humor Bloggers Dot Com Virtual Tour and its stop in Cowtown (Fort Worth), Texas. We just finished stalking brookeamanda up in Illinois and if you want to see where we've been and where we're going, click here! I hope you had a nice, relaxing flight and are well rested.

I know you're probably ready to begin the tour but first, like the classy responsible tourists that we are, we must check our budget.

That's right. Times are tough down here in Cowtown. I've been saving up for a nice pair of roper boots (or maybe a nice pair of boobs will do) but I'm willing to use the money to entertain you. Let me grab Cat and we'll see what we've got:

Photo: ReformingGeek

As you can probably guess, that money won't get me nice pair of anything so I checked with the Fort Worth Stockyards and they are doing a special event today with the cattle. That's right. They could use a few extra hands (pun intended) to shovel.....er....stuff. While we're shoveling, we can enjoy the history behind the Fort Worth Stockyards (thank you Wiki):

The Fort Worth Stockyards now celebrates Fort Worth's long tradition as a part of the cattle industry and was designated as a historical district in 1976. Many bars and nightclubs (including Billy Bob's Texas) are located in the vicinity, and the area has a Western motif. There is also an opry and a rodeo. The Fort Worth Stockyards are the last standing stockyards in the United States. Some Fort Worth volunteers (Hey, that's us, except I got them to pay us) still run the cattle drives today. They do it so that people can see what it was like in the 1800s.

Photo: dchrisoh, flickr.com Creative Commons

Fast forward a few hours and we are incredibly ripe out here in this heat!

After a quick shower with a garden hose, we are headed to lunch. That's right. We will be eating at *Manny's house near the stockyards. This is on the north side of town where many of the "hole in the wall" Tex-Mex restaurants are and the population is mostly Hispanic.

Hubby's great-grandmother (not Hispanic) owned a cafe in this area in the 1930's and we have a family recipe for Spanish Spare Ribs that was one of the most popular dishes on the menu.

Let's get back to Manny. Manny is a friend of Hubby's and his mama cooks up some mean **Tex-Mex (a hybrid of Spanish and native Mexican foods): Enchiladas, Spanish Rice, Refritos (Refried Beans), Tamales, and Sopapillas for dessert.

Photo: kodamakitty, flickr.com Creative Commons

That's enough gas to tank you up pretty dern good. Never fear. If you need to use the facilities, we've got plenty of these around town:

Photo: some email

Just kidding. We've got real bathrooms...somewhere around here I'm sure. Aw, forget it. There's a bush. I'll cover you.

You probably should take one of those pink antacid pills because we are headed to Six Flags over Texas this afternoon. It's in Arlington about 20 minutes from downtown Cowtown. After a cool down on the log flume ride, we are in line for one of the main attractions: Titan. I hope you like roller coasters. This one's a blast!

Photo: mulf, flickr.com Creative Commons

But wait. There's more. After spilling the contents of our stomach from the roller coaster ride, we are going to sit down for awhile and catch a baseball game. In the picture, it's that red stadium that can be seen from that seriously evil coaster. We will be watching the Texas Rangers play Crotchety's New York Yankees. I think we're going to need lots of beer. The Yankees usually kick our ass.

Also, in the background of the picture is a work-in-progress shot of the new Cowboys stadium, the new home for the Dallas Cowboys professional football team (just in case you haven't heard of them!) If you've got a spare thousand, you might be able to get a reasonably decent seat.

Do you get the idea that sports are a big thing down here?

You would be right.

OK, the baseball game's over. We actually won! Let's get on the road. You're spending the night at my place tonight. Um, no, not with me. Sorry. There just isn't enough room in the bed and Hubby won't even let the cat sleep with us. I've got plenty of room in the backyard and you can fight over the little shed:

Photo: ReformingGeek

Sorry about the mess in the yard. It's been a stormy week. We'll talk more about that tomorrow. Nighty night. Sleep tight. Tomorrow will be a busy day!


*Not his real name of course!
**Tex-Mex - "Mexican" food with Texas influences such as a heavy chili con carne sauce (spicy beef gravy), lots of melted cheese, beef, and combination plates served with chips and salsa ("hot sauce").

Flickr photos: Creative Commons license (see sidebar)