Monday, January 5, 2009

Amateur Antics, How Not to Use a Public Trail System!

We've had some crazy weather down here in Texas. Seventy degrees Friday, eighty on Saturday. Everybody and their dog, cat, and pet iguana came out of the woodwork and they were all on the trail in the local park where I train (run or at least attempt to run) on Fridays.

I'm all for folks "going out to play one hour a day" and that statement should not be limited to kiddos but it must have been amateur day last Friday. So today, welcome to Amateur Antics hosted by ReformingGeek:
  1. Pet leashes extend across the entire sidewalk. I really don't want to get killed tripping over Fido's leash folks.
  2. Kiddos on pint-sized bikes circling other family members. Um....watch it there, Sweetie. I don't want to have to perform gymnastic maneuvers off the handlebars of your bike just to avoid a head-on collision.
  3. Folks gathering on the trail for a chat with all family members in tow. Um.....CLEAR! COMING THRU! MOVE IT OR LOSE IT! Actually, I was very nice. In my best exhausted runner gasping voice, I said "excuse me, please". I think they took one look at my pathetic disheveled appearance crazed facial expression and ran for cover.
  4. Forgetting to look both ways before crossing the sidewalk to get to the playground. I hate to break it to you folks but not only are there crazed runners like me trying to get thru but there are some serious cyclists on these trails. They may not even notice the thump thump of Little Johnny under their tires.
  5. Feeling energetic and well-rested from your holiday vacation and walking/running that extra mile and then having to limp all the way back. Be careful folks. We don't want to carry you but if buff shirtless hot guys want to carry you (or me), I have no problem with that.
  6. Guess What? You're just as clueless walking, running, or biking while talking on your cell phone as you are driving while talking on your cell phone.
  7. If you pass me you'd better keep that pace up or I'll be passing you. Some people just have to be in front (you know who you are) but if you can't keep your pace, I'll be right there to light the fire under you. Doesn't this sound like drivers on the road?
I should be careful about #5. I can't imagine getting hurt on the trail. I would probably be rescued by this:

Photo: iStockphoto.com

I'm glad I got that rant off my chest though. Thanks for listening. It's cold again, local schools are back in session, and the de-zombied corporate folks are back at their desks. (I'm so very sorry.) By next Friday, it will be back to the "regulars" on the trail in the park.

Now for something a little more entertaining. What's up with this? If it's small enough to fit in a cup or you could lose it in your butt crack, it's not a dog. I don't know what it is but it's not a dog.


Photo: Some email floating around on the Interwebs

THIS is a DOG:

Photo: iStockphoto.com

Or maybe it's a horse or maybe it eats small pets for snacks. I don't know but I would not mind having one. I could use it for extra warmth while out on the trail!

Let's feed the pets today with a smiley vote over at humor-blogs.com.

18 comments:

VE said...

Of course you have everyone out there because their all on their lose weight and run resolutions. They'll be gone in about a week. Try my patented barbed wire dog leash on your run next time. That'll get rid of them too...

quirkyloon said...

RefGeek!

I'm back! New PC and all.

Sorry to hear about your jogging woes. I hate to imagine you tripping over one of those leashes. Gah, that could seriously hurt!

I love Chihuahua in a cup! Does he come with a donut? heh heh

ReformingGeek said...

@VE - Yes, they won't be there next week. The health clubs will peak by the end of the month, too.

@quirkyloon - I'm so glad you're back! No donuts but maybe a breakfast burrito or two!

Nooter said...

you have good dog recognition skills, anything smaller than a football is an 'accessory' not a 'real dog'. woof

zyada said...

The daughter of a friend at work got a long-haired miniature chihuahua. That's right, someone took the smallest dog in the world and bred it to be even smaller. It was smaller than a dollar bill.

Actually, I want one - I think the cats need a pet of their own.

ReformingGeek said...

@Nooter - You could wear it on your head as a hat.

@zyada - It's poor little heart would give out running from your cats and they would think it was a mouse.

Deb said...

Get some cleated track shoes and run full-force while blowing an air horn. THAT should clear the path of morons and idiots!

ReformingGeek said...

@Deb - I know I'm full of hot air but I don't think I have enough air to blow a horn while I'm running. ;-)

♥georgie♥ said...

I think the last pix is a horse geesh thats one big animal lol

dana wyzard said...

I do all my exercising at Krogers. I get to walk around the carts that people leave on one side of the aisle while they're inspecting the cans on the opposite side of the aisle. Then there's the electric motor carts that don't have a back-up beep. Then there's the muscle workout where I'm pulling out all the gallons of milk trying to find the newest date. OK. gotta lay down now.

ReformingGeek said...

@georgie - But they are so pretty!

@dana - Shopping for groceries is an exercise in patience and sometimes futility. It's also material for another post. More amateurs.

Kirsten said...

I know what you mean about people on trails. If there are four of them, why do they have to walk in a straight line all the way across the whole path!
Thanks for letting me vent!

Jen @ The Cubicle's Backporch said...

We have two dogs (a pekepoo and a shitzu mix) and both weigh under 10 pounds. I had always been a 'big dog girl' but when we lived in our apartment, a big dog was out of the question for 700 sq ft.

I know what you mean about people on trails. I don't do a lot of trails anymore but all that also applies in the grocery store. People who stop and talk right in front of the exit door. Or people who stop their cart (and their kids) to put coats and stuff back on. How am I supposed to GET OUT?!

dana wyzard said...

I'm listing you on my blog today. Now. Immediately. You can find it under BLOGGER'S BLOCK.

dana wyzard said...

I have a weekly FRIDAY'S SPECIAL where I answer everyone who leaves a comment on my blog. I leave their photo and a linkback to their site. So come on over Friday and see your name in lights!

ReformingGeek said...

@Kirsten - Vent away. That's what Amateur Antics is for!

@Jen - 700 sq ft. was the size of my first apartment. I agree that a small dog would have to do. Grocery stores are another idea for Amateur Antics!

@Dana - Thanks and I'll check it out on Friday!

Chat Blanc said...

personally, I consider small children and clueless people on the trail to be speedbumps. Get outta the way people!

btw I loves the big dogs and like to sing--I like big mutts and I cannot lie :D

ReformingGeek said...

@Chat Blanc - I guess we are all clueless occasionally but it's the folks that don't even try that really get to me.


"1.00s, 1.50s, 1.75s for the short arms. If you know what I'm talking about, you're probably old, too."

"Boomer brain fog: What was the last, middle, and first part of what you just said to me?"