Monday, January 12, 2009

Sanitation Citation


What's this?

No. Say it ain't so. This can't be ReformingGeek's recycle receptacle still up at the "curb" from last Friday?

SIGH.

I'm afraid so and it hasn't been emptied. As of a few months ago, we now pay more for TWICE WEEKLY TRASH AND RECYCLE service.

I'm sure that missing us was just an oversight. I'm sure they must have been having a bad day Friday and forgot to come down our court. I'm sure they weren't quitting early enjoying the nice weather and a little drinkie to jump start the weekend, right?

Well, fine. I refuse to bring my bin back down my long drive.

Maybe the neighbors will take care of it for me. Or the neighborhood association will issue a citation for disgracing the appearance of our court. Actually, we are off the hook on that one. Our association doesn't give a flying wad of trash about stuff like this. Fortunately, the primary purpose of our association is the maintenance of the grass airstrip that is part of of neighborhood (e.g. tractor maintenance, fertilizer, repairs from armadillo attacks).

From all the horrible stories I've heard about homeowners' associations, I have no complaints about our association but our city is doing a great job of giving all of us a wedgie. I picture the council members sitting around a table, closing their eyes, reaching into a bucket of nonsense, and pulling out the latest "code". Then they pay lawyers to write it in the most confusing, misleading language ever and they pay these guys to enforce these "codes":

Photo: iStockphoto.com

On second thought, we may not have anything to worry about...

The "code" that really got to me was created a few years ago after our neighborhood was annexed into the city. They started charging @$1200 for a permit to dig a well. Thanks a lot, folks. I want a well but I don't want to part with $1200. But wait, there's more. There are permits to get a sprinkler system or storage shed, rules about when to cut your grass, and you can only pee and flush into your septic system every other day.

Just kidding. We can pee all we want and flush every day at noon.

At least nobody is telling us that we have to have flowers planted in the flower beds and what color we can or cannot paint the house!

Our neighbors keep us in line, though. A few years ago, during the darkest days of winter, when Hubby and I were both working some longer hours, we did good just to get the bins up the long drive and ready for the trash trucks. Bringing them back in a timely manner after they were emptied? That was too much to ask. One day I arrive home from work a little early and noticed that our bins were brought down close to our house for us by kind, concerned neighbors. Now wasn't that sweet?

Uh huh.

We took the hint.

Then there is the neighbor that comments on what you threw away (This is before the privacy of the larger trash bins with the enhanced twice weekly service.) Um......so.....my response is please take what you want. We obviously don't want or need it OR IT WOULDN'T BE IN THE TRASH NOW WOULD IT?

Seriously, I couldn't ask for better neighbors. With the exception of the adult goof-off that sometimes lives up the street and occasionally shoots off fireworks into the wee hours or races his motorcycle up and down the street, these folks are great. Most of our closest neighbors are retired and home all day (when they are not out in their RVs). Unfortunately, you can't put much past them.

How about showing some neighborly smiley love with a vote over at humor-blogs.com? No citations issued. I promise.

17 comments:

Quirkyloon said...

This is too funny RefGeek! Peeing everyday at noon, huh?

I like the wedgie remark too, that really had me laughing!

AND..I wish I had some neighbors like yours that would bring my trash bins! One less thing for me to worry about so I can spend more time...blogging! LOL

dana wyzard said...

Thank God there are no restrictions where I live. Well, I ASSUME there's the unwritten restrictions concerning walking down the road naked and carrying a gun. Maybe not. I must find out..........

♥georgie♥ said...

I know where all the workers are....they bit at my 'booming' biz you gifted me during the holidays...i cant keep em outt here ;-)

♥georgie♥ said...

good gawd i cant type...

ReformingGeek said...

@Quirkyloon - Yeah. I don't see my neighbors much since I started my blog! It's like I'm working again only without the paycheck!

@Dana - Uh oh. Maybe I saw you last week....

@georgie - Glad to hear the business is booming!

VE said...

Can't you just dig a well anyway and call it a really deep swimming pool?

Our little snow problem in Dec meant that our recycling wasn't picked up for a month! Do you think I got any of that money back?

ReformingGeek said...

@VE - Yeah. We want a pool, too but strangely enough there are 2 septic tanks in our way. ;-(

Deb said...

Recycle the Maine way. Dump all the recycled stuff in the back of your three-toned pickup truck with the rope holding the bumper on. Drive up and down the streets really fast, recycled stuff flying everywhere.

I go to the dump, which is quite pretty. Views of the mountains and all. There are very neat dumpsters, labeled with big signs telling you what you can and cannot put in each, like no "Cardbored" or "Steal Cans Only".

Jacki said...

Hahaha...why does everyone have a problem with their trash cans? Some friends of ours got cited like three times right after they moved into their townhouse. They leave for work before the trash men come, so they literally are not home to remove their trash can from the curb, but yet the association has this obscure rule that the cans have to be removed from the curb a half hour after trash pickup.

Homeowners associations really are a crock. I see the point of having one, to discourage people from junking up their yards and all, but still. Some of the rules are just ridiculous. In place just to make the people making them feel important.

Prefers Her Fantasy Life said...

I live in a neighborhood that doesn't allow garbage cans and bins on the street. The workers actually come to the back of the garage to get them. No wells or above ground pools allowed either.

ReformingGeek said...

@Deb - What, no palastic?

@Jacki - Yikes! And, yes, I think many of associations think themselves much more important than they really are.

@Prefers - Although labor intensive, that doesn't sound like such a bad idea!

Kirsten said...

At least you can pee every day at noon! Cushy homeowner's association!
BTW, check out my blog post from today (tuesday) when you get a chance.

Bee said...

When we first bought our house, we bought some nice big garbage bins but the garbage trucks didn't lick them up. It took us 2 weeks to find out they were too big. The only picked up 33 gallons bins and ours were 35.

dizzblnd said...

I am sooooooo glad I have never had to deal with the HOA's.. my best friend moved out of hers for the ridiculous reasons you listed and then some

This is America dammit!

Elizabeth said...

Hi, I just found your blog from VE's. That's too funny that your neighbors brought your garbage cans back to your house as a hint! They must have a lot of free time on their hands!
:)

dani c said...

All I have to say is " effin neighbors" !!!!

ReformingGeek said...

@Kirsten - I was crushed that I came out a dorky nerd. ;-(

@Bee - That's really sad.

@dizzblind - Yeah, it is America so leave us alone already!

@Elizabeth - Glad you dropped in. Yep. Most of my neighbors are retired and home quite a bit. When this happened, they were taking their daily walks so my guess that just got tired of dodging our empty cans.

@dani c - Neighbors provide great blog material!


"1.00s, 1.50s, 1.75s for the short arms. If you know what I'm talking about, you're probably old, too."

"Boomer brain fog: What was the last, middle, and first part of what you just said to me?"