What You've Been Waiting For....

The poop post.

No. Not really. Maybe one of these days. But today I will discuss pee, piss, pee-pee, wee-wee, whiz, taking-a-leak or whatever else you want to call it.

We are still in the warm place, aka Maui. We planned a hike after a long drive yesterday. You know what needs to happen after a long drive. Especially if you consume beverages which of course you do because....well that's just what you do while you're driving one-lane roads while looking for whales in the ocean at the road driving safely! Anyway, we read the map and guidebook about where to find the trailhead for our hike. Then I mention the inevitable.

"Hon, I really need to pee." I imagine Hubby does too but he isn't the first to admit it today. We toss around a few ideas like going to a shopping complex just up ahead or stopping at a gas station. We find the turnoff for our hike and I said why don't we just go ahead and drive to the trailhead (hoping against all hope that they would have one of those cute little boxes or at least a bucket).

Ha! Nope. Nada. Not so lucky.

Fortunately, there are no other cars or people at this trailhead. Hubby suggests that I drop trou next to the passenger door. He has already unzipped and is taking care of his business next to the driver's side. OKEY DOKEY. I can do this. After all, been there; done that. I've peed off trail in Colorado, Alaska, and now Hawaii. My goal is to hit all 50 states and all the U.S. Territories. Now if you find a satellite image on Google Earth and it shows this lady decked out in hiking clothes with her pants down.........

Folks, the key is to pee with the wind and not splash your clothes and don't pee on you shoes. Got it?

A friend once told me that only Americans make a big deal out of taking a piss. If you've traveled to other countries (France and Japan come to mind), you're lucky if you get a toilet in a public facility, Ladies. Guys? I think you might get a hole or a gutter or a bush...I have not checked that out.

My last post talked about a tour to see the sunrise followed by a bike ride down the mountain. One thing our driver shared with us is funny questions people ask. I love these:

"Does the sun come up every day?"

"What happens if the sun doesn't come up?"

"Is the sun late today?"

Of course the guide has to keep a straight face and answer these questions.

My response would have been "Uh......" or "You're too stupid to be on this tour today. Please get out of the van and walk the 40+ miles back to your hotel."

I'll leave you with some memories from this week so far:

Bamboo forest: This was from our hike in Haleakala National Park from the south side of Maui up to a waterfall. I kept looking for panda bears. It was very dark and spooky. The bamboo was huge and made squeaking sounds as it cracked and shifted in the wind; very eerie.



West Maui mountains: More beauty from the diversity this island has to enjoy. Hubby snapped this one on our long drive mentioned above.




Sunset over Lanai: I actually took this one and caught the colors just right. This is our view from our hotel. Also, there was what looked like a teenage whale dancing for us in front of our resort, wowing the crowd with his fin and fluke and making big splashes. He was probably just hoping to impress a pretty lady whale and see some action tonight.




Our vacation is winding down. How about a smiley vote over at humor-blogs.com to cheer me up?

Photos property of ReformingGeek. Please do not use without permission.