I have banished two toasters from the ReformingGeek household in the past two weeks. That's right. It was obvious the toasters were assigned to my house to kill me - by starvation. Is it too much to ask that I can have my toast for breakfast like I do every day? No, I didn't want half the bread toasted nor did I want the entire piece of bread charred beyond recognition.
I guess it was too much to ask. The first toaster decided it no longer wanted an intimate relationship with the bread. It rejected each and every piece inserted into the appropriate slots so I went to the store in search of its replacement. I didn't like the prices. I went back home and remembered we had a toaster we used prior to our kitchen remodel stuck in a closest somewhere waiting for the garage sale that never happens. I got it out, cleaned it up, removed the price sticker, and plugged her in. She worked like a charm.
Apparently, toaster #1 had a conversation with this replacement toaster while it was sitting on the counter waiting for Real Cat to take it out to the garbage. I know this because soon after toaster #1 was finally deposed of, it's replacement turned into the Ice Woman. That's right. No heat coming from this lady. Maybe she prefers her bread buttered on the other side, if you know what I mean. She certainly didn't like any of the specimens I presented to her.
I went to buy toaster #3. The prices at Wally-World (Gosh Dern It!) were within my budget but I have not learned form my mistakes. Toaster #2 is still on the counter and I'm sure she's telling this new guy (yes, I got a guy this time) what he's supposed to do:
You do know that toasters are not alive and out to get you, don't you?
They are alive. Tick. Tick. Otherwise, why would they talk to me and set up play dates with the cat?
Dang. I'm hungry now.
Photo credits: Darth Vader _ES on flickr.com, Frakking toasters: RedMorris on flickr.com, both licensed under Creative Commons (see sidebar)