Thursday, September 17, 2009

A Rant With a Slant

While on vacation in Maine, Hubby and I went shopping. Yes, I know. You don't believe it. It's true. We do that occasionally and Hubby comes with me rather than sleeping on the park bench like some of the other husbands we noticed. The poor sods most likely followed their wives off the ship but really just wanted to sleep off the buffet breakfast. Yeah, like that guy. Really.

As long as we keep the shopping timeframe/threshold/parameters to within a couple of hours, we are OK. Otherwise, we start to morph into shop zombies and start buying refrigerator magnets and plastic wind chimes and think that lobster claw Christmas ornaments would make great gifts. Then we eat fudge and ice cream and swim naked in the Atlantic. Wait. That didn't happen. I promise. We had cinnamon rolls and brownies.

Anyhowsitwhatever, we were in a cute little "natural/alternative" shop and I decided to purchase some locally made jams. Keep in mind this is in a town where there is a cruise ship docked at the harbor. That's right. TOURISTS shop here. I take the jams to the cashier and ask for a bag and packing materials. I hand her my credit card. She starts looking at me like I've sprouted another head and gives my credit card the evil eye and holds onto it for dear life. After I sign the receipt, she compares my signature to the card signature.
So people REALLY do that? While she was waiting for the credit card approval, she pulled out one small paper bag and puts my four jars of jam into the one bag. Yes. Really. No padding. No nothing.

I ask again for packing materials. She offered me a couple more small bags. Sheesh! I had to wrap and pack the stuff myself. Folks. I'm an obvious tourist. Did she not get that I have to get this stuff home somehow?


She got under my skin faster than the the last splinter I got from my old wheelbarrow and you don't want to know what I did to that one-wheeled monster. It took some deep breathing to stop me from jumping over that counter. This girl was starting to resemble Anne Boleyn and I was thinking about heads on platters for some reason.

Maybe I was getting hungry?


Later, Hubby reminded me we were in a "natural/alternative" shop with a bunch of tree-huggers.
Oh. Right. Now I remember. I believe in taking care of the earth but I'm sure they didn't want blueberry jam all over their store because their Nothing-Between-the-Ears cashier only gave me ONE bag to hold FOUR jars?

Hubby had to help me with the perspectives in this situation. He nicely suggested that I was supposed to have my own canvas bag, like the locals do. Um, OK. Yes, I have those. HERE. IN TEXAS. WHERE I LIVE. No, I don't take them with me on vacation.


Well. Teach ME a lesson. Maybe I should.


That's right. The "bag" can serve multiple purposes while away from home. Not only will it hold multiple jars of jam, it will keep the sun and rain off your face and with those handles, it could possibly be used as a weapon.

Hum...

Photo credits: bagged geek: ReformingGeek self-photo, check flickr.com for more of my inspired self-photos........KIDDING, sleeping off the buffet: troyperkins on flickr.com, Creative Commons license, see sidebar.

29 comments:

Meadowlark said...

I just love that you put that on your head and took a picture while in public.

You make me laugh!!!!

Thanks.

Chief said...

I seriously think some of the tourist shops know you aren't going to be a return customer so why try too hard to please.

Jacki said...

I really throw cashiers for a spin when they ask to see my credit card to compare my signatures on the credit card and receipt. I always put "ask for ID" on the back of my credit card. Sometimes cashiers will just look at it and hand it back, others ask to see my ID.

The Old Silly said...

LOL loved the rant. Yes, some peeps DO actually ask to see ID and compare sigs - it's what responsible stores are supposed to do, dearybob (wink) - but I know and feel ya, ha!

Hey when I turned 40 I took an oath. From then on anyone who carded me when trying to buy alcohol would get a kiss. Woman OR man!

Marvin D Wilson

♥georgie♥ said...

what you dont travel with your canvas bag while on vacation? lol...i kid i kid...i really think that color looks good on you!

Quirkyloon said...

Umm, I had a funny and witty comment that just flew out of my head when I read Marvin's comment.

Can you say baby vomit?

Oh, it's coming back, drat! False alarm!

I will say this.

You look hot with that bag on your head!

Reffie: The Hot Bag Lady!

hee hee hee

ReformingGeek said...

@Meadowlark - A girl's gotta do something to jazz things up!

@Chief - Most of the folks are pretty nice in the shops. I guess that's why this girl stood out. She was just WEIRD.

@Jacki - Hubby does that and gets about the same response as you do.

@Marvin - I hope you have not had to kiss too many men. ;-)

@Gerogie - Thanks. I'm working on a matching blouse!

@Quirky - Why thanks. I think I'll wear bags more often. Yes, Marvin's comment was....er....a bit GROSS!

Deb said...

I just lost a good amount of Barefoot Riesling up my nose when I scrolled to that photo! The Bag Lady of Texas a la ME! Oh, you are lucky the place even took credit cards. We still have places with those old fashioned cash registers that look like they have typewriter keys run by old fashioned people with teeth that look like car keys.

Hope the jelly made in China with the Maine label made it home OK.

otin said...

hey, it's Little Orange riding hood!haha!

ReformingGeek said...

@Deb - Glad you liked the photo. ;-)
Yes, all the Chinese jams made it home safely!

@otin - My other choice was black.

mama-face said...

Is there a microfiber version of the bag for working out purposes?...it does look like you are about to leave for a run.

So, when should I expect the Jam? Don't even think about saying what you are thinking about saying. :0

Bloggin Betty said...

Yeah, when I was in Maryland over the summer, I got some jam from the Amish market, only to have it THROWN AWAY by airport security because it was over the 4 oz. size limit.

ReformingGeek said...

@mama-face - Actually,I have a microfiber ball cap for my runs! I'm dressed in yoga clothes and your jam's in the mail, with your check. ;-)

@Betty - Oops.

Jamie said...

Apparently those rude Northeasterners (aka damnyankees) don't know that everything is bigger in Texas... including butt whoopin's!

Chaotically Calm said...

Well I am all out of sorts about this one. I get the whole save a tree bit and not polluting the air dirty knapsack type of thing but come now...you had four jars of jam. Did the missing mind cashier think you had magic in your pocket or something?

ReformingGeek said...

@Jamie - You got that right!

@Chaotic - Apparently.

ettarose said...

I think the choice of where you put the bag was better than someplace else.

Nooter said...

i can never get the humans signature right so i place all my orders over the internet rather than in person.

ReformingGeek said...

@etta - Yeah but it's also a place where the "sun don't shine".

@Nooter - I saw a cat slinking around your mailbox.

dizzblnd said...

you and I would have SO much together if we ever met! I may start saving my bail money in case we ever do

Mary@Holy Mackerel said...

Great shot!

I would have decked that person. You have more patience than I would ever have.

And my credit card always gets looked at very closely. Now I'm thinking that's not such a common occurrence?

ReformingGeek said...

@Dizzblnd - We would. Wait. Does mooning cops actually work?

@mary - Thanks. I really wanted to deck her. She was just so hoity toity.

Jean Knee said...

crap we're in trouble if even vacations have to be green

Collette said...

Now you know you damn tourists should know better! Why are you bothering them when they're busy humping, oops I mean, hugging trees.LOL. Now you have to go to church to pray for forgiveness. Good thing you have that beautiful new bonnet to wear.

Hit 40 said...

A bag on your head! Very nice.

I have been blog hopping with the mormons. They are taking wonder woman around mormon town for photos. I wonder what people think that do not blog. I guess...

they just think we are nutty.

ReformingGeek said...

@Jean - Yep. Big trouble.

@Collette - Yes, my new bonnet is fancy smancy and I think I was "bothering" that cashier. Sigh.

@Hit40 - We are nutty.

Sue said...

I never get behind a person in line with those stupid bags. It takes twice as long to bag up the groceries. Who has the kind of time to save a tree anyway? ;-)

K a b l o o e y said...

Yeah, you do look like trouble...

The Constant Complainer said...

I love it when you rant. And did you take that sleeping picture youself. That's a great cell shot!


"1.00s, 1.50s, 1.75s for the short arms. If you know what I'm talking about, you're probably old, too."

"Boomer brain fog: What was the last, middle, and first part of what you just said to me?"