Sunday, November 15, 2009

Don't Blame the Dog

A friend sent me an email awhile back. It was a series of photos and the subject was "what chefs do when they're bored". As I started looking through the photos, I realized that most of the food items tend to be a little bit on the....er.....gassy side. That's when my mind went back to junior high and how someone on the bus nearly always farted on the way to school and then to how animals are truly masters at passing gas.

I sure do wish THAT school bus memory would fade away. There was always a mean guy at the back of the bus accusing everyone else of farting. Now that I think about it, he was probably the one doing the farting.

My thinking went downhill from there. Please join me in some silliness. What if the chefs were really thinking about bathroom humor when they did these carvings? The captions might look a bit like this:


Mo-om! Davey is blowing bubbles out his butt again!


We fart in your general direction.


I smell frog. Sheesh! Did one of you eat a
frog from the previous photo?



Eventually, we will evolve and be able to fly.
Here's how you poop on cars.


OOPS! I just crapped my pants.


Next time, take the purple pill before you eat, OK?

I feel much better now. Thanks for letting me get that out of my system (yeah, pun intended).

Cat joins ReformingGeek on couch, rubs face against gray lap beast, curls up, and closes eyes..

DANG! What IS that smell?


Oh. Thanks, Cat.


Photos: Photos of artwork from bored, gassy chefs digesting in the innards of Al Gore's massive Internets.

30 comments:

♥georgie♥ said...

LOL...too funny and yes my doggers is a master farter so is my son and my husband and...
that food art is amazing!

otin said...

I couldn't get past the art! That stuff is brilliant! (Whew, I just let one rip! hahaha!)

Brian Miller said...

too cool. it amazes me what chefs can do with food. see if my mom would have let me play with my food...

Leeuna said...

I love all that food art. hahaha. I just thought the words food art really fast and In my head it sounded like foodart. uh, that would be a really loud fart I suppose.

Marvin D Wilson said...

Talk about blowing a Mighty Wind all over Bloggydom! LOL - y'know there's quite the fad these days for "crazy captions" posts and THIS one blows 'em ALL away!

Phew ... I gotta run now, sorry ...

The Old Silly

ReformingGeek said...

@georgie - Yes, men and dogs don't even need beans!

@otin - I knew you would!

@Brain - Yeah. You could have been a great artist!

@Leeuna - FOODART! I like that.

@Marvin - Thanks. I love captions and I hope you made it.....

Quirkyloon said...

Gassy food? What's that? I thought ALL food was gassy.

At least it is for me.

Hmm.

*smile*

honeypiehorse said...

Funnym funny stuff. I love how the penguinds are thinking ahead.

CatLadyLarew said...

I love it when you play with your food, Reffie!

ReformingGeek said...

@Quirky - I'm right there with you....oops.

@Honeypie - Yeah. They sure are Smarties.

@CatLady - Thanks. It's so much fun!

mama-face said...

Your interpretation seems much more believable. Especially if these are male chefs (cheves?) we are talking about.

If that memory ain't gone yet, it ain't never gonna. (school bus dude)

(Those fish or whatever are just creepy looking.)

Deb said...

30-lb NutJob sometimes "fluffs", which can blow you right out of the room. If she fluffs and hears it, she is absolutely terrified and runs to the opposite end of the house shaking.

ReformingGeek said...

@mama-face - The idea of animated food is creepy. ;-) Yeah. I imagine those were guys that did the artwork.

@Deb - We call those SBDs (Silent, but Deadly) and yes, they are so nasty. That's funny that he's scared of his own fart.

Collette said...

This must have been a gassy week because this is the 2nd blog this week talking about gas! LOL!
Anyway, between my hubby & daughter, who need nothing but to breathe in order to be gassy, I am pretty much blown out of house & home all the time! I have learned to NOT breathe thru my nose most of the time! LOL! Who needs pets?

Nooter said...

(poot!)

ReformingGeek said...

@Collette - You poor thing. I'm sending you some air freshener.

@Nooter - **opens window**

MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings said...

We fart in your general direction. Nice Monty Python reference!

I'm also floored by the chef's creations. Those Chinese cabbage fish are out of this world.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to step outside for a minute. I'm at work, and farting doesn't go over real big here for some reason. :)

K a b l o o e y said...

It's been a gassy week around our house too, with the dude and the tot blowing in 2-part harmony. Not to mention the dog and cat. I'm the only one with a polite ass. That said, I still enjoyed your captions very much. And those cauliflower sheepies are very cute.

I Wonder Wye said...

Cats so seldom fart (not like dogs) that when I saw Smoky do it once, he had his tail lifted up high and then 'pooted' and skipped across the floor with a look on his face like 'WHAT was THAT?!" Pretty funny stuff.....

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

What on earth are those frogs made of???

ReformingGeek said...

@Kablooey - Thanks! Although gassy, those chefs are talented.

@Wye - LOL. Cats have no clue that the smell came from them.

@Nanny Goat - My guess is green bell peppers.

Venom said...

Hey Geek - cool new look over here!

Jacki said...

Hahahha...the last two are my favorites! And you used my most favorite Monty Python quote!

ReformingGeek said...

@Venom - Thanks. Glad you stopped by.

@Jacki - Thanks. They were fun to play with.

ettarose said...

Reffie, I loved that food art and your captions were spot on. My friend once picked up one of his kittens and gave it a lovely squeeze. When that cat farted I almost crapped my pants laughing at the look on my friends' face.

VE said...

You could have really gone the wrong way with those kiwis and I'm glad that didn't happen...

ReformingGeek said...

@ettarose - Thanks. Your poor friend!

@VE - Yeah, well, it's a family blog.....

Bee said...

Hahahaha!! My favorite is the evolving and pooping on cars!

The Constant Complainer said...

Our two cats are notorious for the silent but deadly farts. Yuck.

The Constant Complainer said...

Our two cats are notorious for the silent but deadly farts. Yuck.


"1.00s, 1.50s, 1.75s for the short arms. If you know what I'm talking about, you're probably old, too."

"Boomer brain fog: What was the last, middle, and first part of what you just said to me?"