Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Home Improvement Craziness #1

If you thought I was crazy before, rest assured, I still am.

What now ReformingGeek?

Here's the story. Several years ago we remodeled our kitchen. No, we didn't just change out the wallpaper. We replaced all the cabinets, the ceiling, 1 wall, the countertop, tiled the floor, and re-arranged an outside wall adding a bay window. We also added wainscoting, new molding, and re-textured all the walls and painted. Yeah, we're nuts.

So that took about a year.

Then we had a party.

Yeah, I wish that was my backyard and no, we didn't foot the bill for this one!

A few notes about home projects:
  1. Each project will require the purchase of one or more power tools.
  2. Each project will take longer and cost more than you expected (just like everything else).
  3. If you are remodeling a house you did not design or build, there will be one or more occurrence of "WHAT EFFING IDIOT INSTALLED/BUILT/DESIGNED/PLUMBED/WIRED THIS!!"
  4. If your project involves plumbing, be courteous and warn the neighbors that they will learn new words from the LOUD CURSING that is coming from your house.
  5. If your project involves taking out frustrations by tearing out sheetrock, warn the neighbors that there will be piles of trash on your property that will sit for long periods of time. If they complain, tell them to "KISS MY ASS" politely ask them to help you haul it off.
As our house must have been built on quicksand and we have lots of trees, we have foundation issues that resulted in cracks in our walls in the den and in the dining room. After the kitchen project was finished, we had our foundation jacked up so the cracks in the walls can now be repaired.

A few years later we started the dining room. No walls came down but we replaced the ceiling to match the kitchen, changed the flooring, trimmed-out the windows, repaired walls, adding wainscoting, new molding, and painted. Yeah, we're still nuts.

So that took about a year (maybe not, but it seemed like it).

You see a pattern here?

Then we took another break and talked about doing the den. Then we kind of/sort of started the project. It's been in this state for over a year. The entire project will eventually involve....you guessed it... a new ceiling and new flooring in addition to the repaired walls and painting.

Since I'm home quite a bit and spend way too much time in the den on the computer, I'm tired of the disheveled look. And with the possibility of entertaining too many relatives this Christmas, it's time to at least make the wall repairs and paint.

Guests can easily ignore a gutted ceiling. And who really notices bits and pieces of insulation flying around in the air?

Just kidding. We didn't gut the ceiling.

I do the painting around here. Hubby doesn't like the mess. It's not pretty if Hubby has to paint though I will say that he doesn't mind so much when there is a power tool (like a paint sprayer) involved.

But we have to pick out a color. Yes, it has to be a real color. I've had it with white/off-white walls. Fortunately we can usually come to agreement without raised voices, evil looks, rolled eyes, or storming off in a huff. It's easy. Hubby says "unless it's absolutely hideous in my opinion, you can pick, dear."

Wow! What a guy!

So now I have sample paint splats all over the wall in all sorts of colors that looked good on the sample card but not so great on the wall. Ick! Bring me the KILZ!

Fast forward a bit. We made a decision. Forget the paint. Forget the repairs. Take this job and shove it.....you get the picture. We're out of here!

Yeah, I wish. Back to reality.

I've been given the go-ahead on a color. No more breaks and I have to stop procrastinating.

Let's let Smiley do the painting, OK?

By the way, I threw a party yesterday. I guess most of you have lives to lead or real jobs or something because I didn't see you and the rejection is really getting me down (yeah, right). I'll leave the door open for a few more days. I hope you get a chance to drop by and say Hi!


Machinist said...

I'm still shuddering. Ours' being a new house I hope we are a long ways from such projects.

I do know that when assembling furniture there will always be one bad thread, male or female,whichever is harder to fix.

Deb said...

I am in the midst of a kitchen remodel. I had no counter space - I used to put a cutting board over the sink. Mr. Man said "Want to knock a wall down?" Hell ya! So it's much bigger, but like you, I am in charge of painting. First I have to strip off the white paint I put over the old green VARNISHED cabinets because I never sanded first. I bought a house that was painted avocado green in every freakin' room. If it was wood, it was green, right down to the window grills as well as kitchen/bathroom cabinets. A little over SEVEN years later, every ceiling, every bit of wood and every wall in every room has been de-greened, except one half-bath. Location, location, location makes up for the time warp house. At least that's what I tell myself.

ReformingGeek said...

@Machinist - Good Luck! When your house needs that kind of work, do the minimum and sell it! And, you're right about the furniture.

@Deb - That is so funny! By the time you are done, green will be back in style....

We bought this house because of the location and we liked the style. Coming from families of home project fanatics, we were excited (young) about making it "our home". The kitchen countertop was originally baby-shit brown. We got rid of that right away.

Ed said...

Good thing I read this post in detail. At first I thought you converted your house to that cruise ship. That would have been impressive indeed!

"1.00s, 1.50s, 1.75s for the short arms. If you know what I'm talking about, you're probably old, too."

"Boomer brain fog: What was the last, middle, and first part of what you just said to me?"