Friday, November 28, 2008

Worst Gifts EVER!

Now that I've gorged myself on delicious traditional Thanksgiving food, it's time to start thinking about Christmas shopping. I know. You're not ready. Neither am I.

BTW, was anyone served a dish they couldn't identify on Thanksgiving?

I thought about being a scrooge this year but Hubby won't let me and after all it's Black Friday and I have to do my part to help the retailers make some money. So I won't be a scrooge. Instead, I've pledged to find the tackiest gifts I can for my gift recipients this season. To get myself in the mood, I made some cookies, opened a bottle of vino and started searching the Interwebs. It only took a few minutes to choose from the wide selection of tacky gift suggestions and I'm sure none of these selections were influenced by the 3rd or 4th glass of wine:

For Cousin Harriet who sometimes whines about shopping for me:

Yep. It's a grocery bag vase. Enjoy Sweetie. I'm sure this will fit right in with your decor.

For Uncle Bubba who is really very nice and will probably like this gift:

Bobble. Bobble. Great for any redneck's hearth.

And I heard that some distant relative was experiencing some problems with garden pests so I found this pest riddance device:

That's right. It carries those pesky gnomes right out of your yard. Good Luck with this, Joe!

All the vegans on my gift list will get one of these:

They're meat-lovers, right? Hiccup. I'm starting to feel a little woozy here.

Finally, this year Hubby told me he wanted a "Super Model" for Christmas and Google didn't let me down. I found this great model. I know he will like it because he's really into jeeps...

Am I a great wife or what?

Wait minute. Something tells me this isn't what he meant....Oh well. Good thing I saved the receipt.

Smiley needs a little help this season.

Happy Shopping!


Anonymous said...

I love it! Those are hilarious!

Umm, I do think our little friend VE might take offense at the "pesky gnome" remark.

Ack. He'll get over it!


Anonymous said...

My neighbor has Uncle Bubba's gift sitting on his fire place mantle.

ReformingGeek said...

@Quirkyloon - Thanks.

@Clay - I think mantle is what I meant to type. I'm starting to think I should buy that bobble-jeep for Bubba.

Anonymous said...

Guess what RefGeek?

You need to make some room on your award shelf!

Come to me blog and read all about it! tee hee

Anonymous said...

VERY cute and clever post, Reformed One (smile) Love this blog. first timer here, although I've seen you around. Quirky One tipped me off to ya, I bestowed upon her the "Uber-Amazing" Blogging Star award and she is passing it on to you!

Hey I'll be back here, fo sho!

Marvin blogs at Free Spirit:
Eye Twitter 2 -

ReformingGeek said...

@Quirkyloon - Thanks. You're such a sweetheart!

@Marvin - Glad you found me! Thanks for the nice comments.

nikkicrumpet said...

HEY...I wanted that little "lawn gnome carry offer" sculpture. I thought it was "anti-tacky" since it is removing the tackiness...but did you see the price on that little nugget...It was FREAKING expensive! I'm still hoping my hubby gets it for me anyway! And the pickup truck is a hoot!

Anonymous said...

Now those are very interesting gifts !

ReformingGeek said...

@nikkicrumpet - I hope Santa comes through for you!

@Debateur - Thanks. Glad you stopped by!

Deb said...

My worst gift was a cheese tray given to me by my wasbund. Need I say more?

ReformingGeek said...

@Deb - No, you said it all right there.

I got a bath sponge (it was in a kit) from Cousin Harriet one year. It was just weird. Maybe she thought I didn't bathe regularly (once a week is enough, right) and needed some incentive. After that, she got much better with the gifts.

massage momma said...

I love tje paper bag vase. The really terrific thing is that it doesn't really cost you any money. Take a bag, some markers and voila! It's a gift, or is it?

My worst gift that I ever received was a turkey roasting accessory set from my in-laws. First of all, I don't own a roasting pan and second of all, I've never cooked a turkey! I ended up donating it.

Chat Blanc said...

oh I know some people who'd love the rednecks with the deer strapped to the truck hood! ;)

ReformingGeek said...

@massage momma - If you get another turkey roasting accessory set, you could always re-gift....back to the original recipient ;-)

@Chat Blanc - Yeah, just about every dude down here in Texas driving a pickup.

Bee (the one who muses) said...

Ha ha! That was hilarious! I once got a used book for a grab bag from work. Last year. It had coffee stains and dog eared pages. No, this was not a classic passed on to someone else. I mean, Marley and Me is good and all but I consider a classic anything over 50 years old.

ReformingGeek said...

@Bee - A used book? That's pretty low. I got fishing lure one year...maybe I can make that story into a post.

"1.00s, 1.50s, 1.75s for the short arms. If you know what I'm talking about, you're probably old, too."

"Boomer brain fog: What was the last, middle, and first part of what you just said to me?"