Monday, December 8, 2008

Go Fish!

Is this a game?

Are you taking us fishing ReformingGeek? Do we need poles or maybe some snorkel gear?

Maybe, but I've got a story to tell you first.

Why is it that everyone wants to do the White Elephant Gift Exchange at Christmas? Is it the excitement of taking something away from somebody when they don't want you to? Is it scheming with your BFF to take something away from somebody? Are the guys trying to get the ladies to start a cat fight for their entertainment? Maybe it's the enticement of the wrapped packages (more like gift bags now days). Who knows?

It could be worse. One year we had to play some stupid game with teams at our Christmas party for work. Playing these kind of games with a bunch of competitive geeks and no alcohol was not my definition of a good time.

So back to the Elephant thing. What I do know is that I always seem to get the worst, most lame gift ever. These are the ones I can remember:
  • a Rudolph-the-Red-Nosed-Reindeer doorknob cover
  • a bottle of wine that tasted like vinegar
  • fishing lure
Doorknob Cover: WTF? This was one of those crafty things made by a first grader that you might find at a local bazaar. It sort of resembled Rudolph and was supposed to fit on a doorknob. Why would you want to cover the damn doorknob anyway?

The bottle of wine: This particular bottle was from a Texas Winery. Although Texas is not known for its wine, there are supposedly a few good wines out there. I've yet to encounter them. This White Elephant exchange was a Wine Swap with the gals. It was actually kind of fun, even more so after drinking several glasses of wine and dancing naked in bare feet to old disco songs.

Something Smells Fishy: But the fishing lure is the real winner (or loser). We were doing the White Elephant Gift Exchange with a small group of co-workers, two men and four ladies. Everything I had chosen had been stolen and it was finally down to the last gift on the table. My expectations were high as all the other gifts were reasonably nice and had potential as being useful. The last gift on the table was in a tiny package beautifully wrapped and I was very excited. I WANTED THAT GIFT! I'm thinking that maybe it's costume jewelry or a gift card or maybe some candy.

Something else that had happened earlier in the exchange was that one of the guys had inserted a "gag" gift into the pile and when the person opened that one and looked shocked at some hideously weird gift, he immediately opened his briefcase and gave her the real gift.


OK, moving on here. So I opened the last package and the look on my face when I opened up fishing lure was priceless. I was in total shock. I couldn't hide my disdain. My eyes were big and my jaw dropped and I said "OK, where's the real gift?". The only other guy in our group said with a straight face "That is the real gift".

I said "Oh Gosh Darn It (not what I wanted to say)! I'm sorry but I'm really dumbfounded that this is a gift."

Of course I felt bad and this guy was equally surprised that I didn't like the gift.

There is a nice ending to this story. One of the ladies in our group was really interested in fishing. She wanted the lure and I was more than willing to take what she had received during the exchange. I think it was a Christmas ornament. As you can tell this bunch was a bit on the wild side.

Hubby, on the other hand, usually comes home with something decent from the White Elephant Exchanges at his work every year. Go figure. This year I have the option of going with him to that party. Maybe I should sit it out. I don't want to ruin his luck.

Smiley wants a prezzie.


Anonymous said...



Are you sure you weren't punk'd or something! What a LAME (even as lame white ellyfant gifts go) gift!

No he gets the award for LAMEST While Elephant Gift EVER!!!

You should've kept it and then stuck it on his chair and then he could have "accidentally" sat on it!


That'll learn him!

ReformingGeek said...

@Quirkloon - It was very lame but I still remember it. I don't remember any of the "good" gifts.

Anonymous said...

Agreed-- Christmas should not be about TAKING things away from other people who want them. That is the Anti-Christmas. Only in offices do people seem to think this sort of thing is a good idea.

It's me said...

This year we got a, um, let's call it a "Love Ewe". !!!! Yup, a blow-up love sheep. He couldn't have picked the bag with velvet handcuffs, or the $10 gift certificate or the Hasselhoff calendar? Nope, we got the "love ewe". Plus, this gift is a re-gift, and we'll be re-gifting it next year. I suppose that's half the fun! :)

ReformingGeek said...

@Jenn - Anti-Christmas. I love it!

@MeadowLark = A love sheep? I think I know someone who could use one of those. The "thinks he's hot co-worker" that's always hitting on the women.

I am a big fan of re-gifting!

Da Old Man said...

I went to one of those things once. I lucked out, as I wound up with a gift cetificate. One of my co-workers got a snowman lamp. He seemed less thrilled.

ReformingGeek said...

Da Old Man - OMG! A snowman lamp. Sounds like a re-gifting opportunity.

"1.00s, 1.50s, 1.75s for the short arms. If you know what I'm talking about, you're probably old, too."

"Boomer brain fog: What was the last, middle, and first part of what you just said to me?"