Sunday, July 12, 2009

A Snarky Chat with the Geek Girl - Part 1

Dang! The Paparazzi have found me.

Wait. Don't leave. It's me. ReformingGeek. Don't you want to interview me?

No? You were looking for someone famous and important?

Oh. Um..those Jonas Dudes live somewhere around here. I think you missed a turn somewhere.


Fine. I'll just interview myself with this set of unrelated, totally insane questions:

Q. The Grim Reaper has designated you to die providing a meal for another creature. You get to choose the creature from the list below:
a. Bear
b. Shark
c. Zombie
d. Feral Cats

None of the above.

That was one crazy question. I hope the rest aren't near that bad....

None of the above was NOT a choice.

Sorry. No comment then. That's really gross. Who made up these stupid questions anyway?


What's the next question?

Q. Your husband has told me that gas too much. Why do you think that you have this problem?

Bathroom humor? How creative.

Oh. You want me to answer that.

Hum...I guess he's saying I fart more than he does. Fancy that. He's probably right. What can I say? I like beans, onions, garlic, and vegetables.

Sheesh. What's that smell?

Oh, sorry. I couldn't help it. I had onions on my sandwich at lunch.

Let's just move on, OK?

Q. A former co-worker mentioned that you talk loud on the telephone.

Oh, you ARE kidding, right? I have a soft voice with a southern drawl.

Oh, you're serious? Well.... I guess I get louder when I get excited and I remember some very exciting conference calls. Also, I teach fitness classes. I GOT USED TO RAISING MY VOICE.

OK. OK. Take a deep breath and we'll continue.

Q. What is your favorite color?


No. I'm kidding.

Ha! Fooled you.

[ReformingGeek glares at interviewer.]

Er.....why don't we just continue. OK?

Q. Why do you blog, RG?

Heck if I know. What does my profile say? See it? It's right there on the second sidebar. That is, Abdul's second sidebar. That's right. Abdul developed the template. He even signed his name at the very bottom of the page. Actually, I'd like to have a little chat with Abdul. He left a few things out. Simple things such as how do a list that actually shows the bullet points and comment code that actually works and changing the font back to the default after you use block quote....



Can we get back to the interview?

Oh, sorry. Sure. Go ahead.

Q. Are you doing anything special for your blogiversary?

Is that like an adversary? I don't want to be confrontational. I get in trouble for that.

Um, no. You don't have to worry about that. It's the anniversary of when you did your first post.

Oh, that. I don't know. It's in September, right before I go on vacation. My brains will be totally fried by then. Maybe I'll post a picture of a balloon and a cake or something.

Um, yeah. That's sounds exciting. Snicker.

Q. Are you going to take the next step in social networking where you can video yourself blabbering on about whatever?

Heck, no. I know I'm narcissistic but not THAT much. Besides, the camera might make my butt cat look big. Also, I'm still trying to figure out 2Facebook.


Yeah. You know. That social networking tool that both me and my evil twin can use with the same account. I love it. I never know who I'm gonna be that day. Tic. Tic.

Um, yeah. Sweetie, did you take your meds today?

Tune in some other time for the next set of questions whenever I think of them.


Mike said...

Sounds like the hubby is not into anal! LMFAO! I will burn in hell for that comment! LOL!

Unknown said...

Was it hard interviewing yourself in the mirror? I would get distracted by making faces and trying to scare myself

Mama-Face said...

I think I read this interview in People magazine. It was you or one of your other personalities, I'm sure.

My problem with facebook (since you asked) is that I leave snarky comments which my "friends" take seriously and then they think I'm weird and I have to explain the comment which takes the snarkiness out of it and basically the whole point of it, and then I think Why?

How much gas is too much? What about your bad breath? Please don't make me explain that.

Marvin D Wilson said...

LMBO! One of your all time best posts, RG. :)

The Old Silly

Anonymous said...

Oh Reffie, you silly girl you!

And if you are done with those meds? Can you send some my way?

I'm always willing to take these kind of burdens off my friends! heh heh

Nooter said...

questions i would ask if i were interviewing you:

whats your favorite snak?
where do you keep these snaks?
are you a sound sleeper?
what is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

ReformingGeek said...

@otin - Yes, you will, Otin. Yes, you will.

@dizzblnd - Who needs a mirror?

@mama-face - Oh yeah. That was me. As for FB, I'm with you. It's entertainment folks. Get over yourselves. My breath? Uh-oh.

@Marvin - Thanks, Old Silly. You are too kind.

@Quirky - Sorry. No leftovers.

@Nooter - I can't let you have any snaks. My cat would be very upset.

Christina Bledsoe said...

HAHA Girl you are funny! Nice to learn more about you :)

Ed said...

Ha, nice... Just imagine if I had those questions. I can't.

ReformingGeek said...

@Christina - Thanks and yeah, everyone wants to know about farting, right?

@VE - Um, no, I can't imagine how Hubby would know about your farting problem...

Deb said...

Fart all you want and blame them on the cat. Simple, huh?

Skye said...

Hahahaaa, very funny Reffie!

Just a couple of weeks ago or so, Oprah had let Dr. Oz take over her show. I don't normally watch Oprah, unless Dr. Oz is on, I like to learn medical stuff ya know, I'm kinda silly that way. Anyway, I'll get to the point. One of the questions Dr. Oz was asked long before the show was aired, was "Who farts more, men or women?" So he sent a camera crue and another Dr. to this dude ranch and outfitted a man and a woman with these special clothes that would collect all the gas expelled. It turns out that men and women release almost an equivilant amount of gas. It was really an interesting experiment, they took these bladders of air and pushed all the air out under water. Somehow this pushed water into a jar and that's how they measured how much each person farted.

ReformingGeek said...

@Deb - The cat takes the blame for most things around here!

@Skye - Hum.....I can't believe they actually did that.

Suzanne said...

Oh my Blogiversary is this month and I have no idea what to do. I better start brainstorming.
Can I borrow that picture of balloons? ;-)

Jean Knee said...


how many fingers do I have up right now?

say the first thing that comes to mind:

Hit 40 said...

Strange questions.

I would have a bear eat me. I think they go for a quick kill on their prey. Quick is good.

LOL that you are already planning for your blog anniversary that is not until September. I also like to plan way ahead.

ReformingGeek said...

@Sue - Yeah. The balloons are yours as soon as I find them, or my medication.

@Jean - Two

@Hit 40 - A bear? Yikes! I'll probably forget about my blogiversary by then.

honeypiehorse said...

You have a definite talent. I can never think of interview questions.

Jean Knee said...

you're definitely loony


ReformingGeek said...

@honeypiece - Got any new hires for me to interview?

@Jean - Um....your point?

Leeuna said...

I tried that once - interviewing myself. It didn't work. I couldn't understand a word I was saying. You did great though. Now we know more about you. Hope you don't have to kill us now. :)

Unknown said...

Video blogs are retarded....and I would have totally chose C: zombie.

ReformingGeek said...

@Leeuna - You're safe. I didn't divulge any top secret data (this time).

@Beau - I truly have no desire to do a video blog. Yeah, Zombie might be OK. ;-)

Bee said...

The hubs blames our dog Mocha.

The Constant Complainer said...

I enjoyed the self-interview.

Hit 40 said...

If anything, I would like to go in my sleep. Only problem is that I sleep naked. YICKS!!!

ReformingGeek said...

@Bee - I'll blame Mocha, too.

@Constant - Thanks. It was fun to put together.

@Hit 40 - Um....that and a possible fire may be good reasons to get some jammies!

Maureen said...

I could never interview myself... I am far too nervous about trick questions that may be hurled at me.

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