From Cricket to Pie to Kidneys

Phew! I'm exhausted after this one. Thanks to DEBBIE DOES DRIVEL and dad - thedude for tagging me. OK who am I kidding? Why am I thanking them? This was hard and involved a lot of typing.

Seriously I was tagged with listing random crap facts about myself that most people don't know (and probably don't really want to know). I tried to make this as entertaining as possible and I want all of my 3 readers to thank me that I'm not tagging them to do this. I think I was supposed to list 7 but I have 8. You got a bonus!

As you read these you might get the idea that weird stuff happens to me. Maybe it's just me. My dad, may he rest in peace, for all his good qualities spent about half of his adult years one sleeve short of a straight-jacket. Mental issues can be hereditary so who knows?

1. I have an autographed cricket ball from a British celebrity.

No I didn't get it off EBay and unfortunately that picture isn't it. Mine has seen a few games. I was there when it was signed. In the height of my geek period, hubby and I made a trip to a SCI-FI convention. That's right. Geekville; where folks (not us) come dressed up as their favorite characters from the movies and TV shows. This convention was focused on the British SCI-FI show Doctor Who. I won a raffle to have breakfast (yes, just breakfast) with one of the actors. It was Peter Davison (who also played Tristan on All Creatures Great and Small) and I had my cricket ball for him to sign. He is a big cricket fan and played in leagues for years in England. He was nice flashing me his pretty blue eyes, but he laughed at my sorry excuse for a cricket ball or maybe that he had to write on a round surface ;-)

2. I've been on a commercial airline flight that had to make an emergency landing.

I was 16 and Mom and I were on our way to London to meet my aunt and her kids for a European vacation. The plane lost an engine and we had to dump fuel and land somewhere in Kentucky. Poor Mom was really freaked out. I was thinking it was kind of cool. There's more. Believe it or not we were seated next to a young women named...get this: Pumpkin Pie Span.

You really won't believe this but several years later I was watching the Price is Right (I was really bored) and guess who is called down to play the game? Yep. Pumpkin Pie Span. Really. It was her. How many folks with that name are out there? Weird, huh?

3. Even as geeky kid, I had to be different. I insisted on playing trombone in 6th grade.

It lasted 2 days. I was a wee little thing and finally gave in to mom's nagging me about "you won't be able to carry that thing around". Duh. I had to take the bus to school everyday. I came to my senses, allowed myself to be a girly girl, and got a flute.

4. I fell off a a mountain in Austria.

No really. In Europe ski trails go for miles connecting ski areas and towns. It was the end of the ski day and I was attempting to get down the mountain to take a train back to Badgastein where we we staying. It was snowing that wet icky snow and I guess the trail was slippery. Or maybe I just tripped over my own two skis. I was close to the side of the trail so when I fell I fell over the side about 3 feet. I was so tangled up with my equipment and the trees that I had to be helped up by some other skiers. I was so embarrassed. I knew a few German words but it just sounded like a Texan trying to speak German.

5. Like dude, I am also afraid of heights.

Occasionally I try to overcome this fear. When I was a teenager I worked at Six Flags Over Texas. I would go to the top of the Oil Derrick (300 ft.) for breaks and I would take 1 step towards the rail each day. I finally got to the point where I could lean on the rail. This was before they added extra wire to the rail to make it @12 feet high. I'll admit that there is no way I could do that now. Yes that's THE Oil Derrick in the picture.

Sometimes I have to take a deep breath when I'm on a high overpass. I can't walk to the very top of some of the hikes hubby and I do if they have cables for you to hold on to or if it's a narrow trail with a drop on both sides.

This is one of the weird phobias. If I'm sitting down and partially enclosed, I'm usually OK. Airplanes don't bother me. Most chair lifts at the ski areas don't bother me. Roller coasters don't bother me although I will sometimes close my eyes and scream loudly. ;-)

6. I'm related to Daniel Boone.

My Mom and her sister traced our family line back to Edward Boone, Daniel's brother. They published this genealogy in the 80's.

7. I live at an airport.

Literally. My neighborhood has a 1500 ft. grass airstrip. Yep. That's it. Most of our neighbors have small planes and corresponding hangars.

8. I only have 1 kidney.

I was born with the normal 2 but when I was a year old, my right kidney became infected, burst, and had to be removed. Since I was a baby, I couldn't effectively communicate beyond constant screaming and simply point to my lower back and say "IT HURTS!" It took the doctors awhile to figure out what was wrong with me. My poor mom ;-( Guess that explains the over-protective childhood I endured.

Sorry folks. No stories about my other life as a double-agent. Since that's top secret stuff, I can't elaborate much.


Seriously I can only dream about being Sydney Bristow.




OK, now I can breathe. Have mercy on me and give me a toothy grin please!

Wrinkle me not

Just when I thought I could get past the getting older posts, a friend sent me something today that just can't be left without comment. You may have seen it going around in an email but I feel compelled to add my own two cents. So here I sit with a glass of *wine and a belly full of my homemade lasagna conjuring up some perspectives (or sarcasm) on this "middle" part of life:

• A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, 'What are you thinking?' She doesn't care what you think.

Honestly, I don't care what anyone is thinking when I'm trying to sleep. The only time I nudge hubby awake is with my Bam-Bam club when he's snoring.

Truthfully this isn't very often as I'm usually snoring louder.

• If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do, and it's usually more interesting.

Hum...I'd actually like to watch the game. I like baseball and I can tolerate college and some professional football. If I'm feeling really aggressive, I can go for a cricket match! The whining is usually because I'm too busy doing uninteresting things.

• Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it.

I'm not a very good shot. I'd probably make a mess of it.

• Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.

The magic words are "Here, let me do that for you honey"!
Flowers are a close second.

• Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40.

Yeah. We just let you think you've fooled us.

• Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.

Wrinkles? Oh, no. Let's not go into this. The cosmetic industry won't let us forget about wrinkles. By the way we want be be considered sexy, hot, or at least attractive. Period. We don't want to hear "for her age" or "once you get past a wrinkle or two".

• Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk, if you are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

Uh oh. Better keep the face hole shut on this one!

• Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants (or maybe a dude in an afro wearing platform shoes) making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Pathetic.
  

Oh, dear. If I was 22, I wouldn't even look at a old dude wearing yellow pants or the hippie with the psychedelic shoes.....Wait a minute. How much money did you say you made today? I like expensive shoes and I've noticed that hubby has almost as many pairs of shoes as me and that is so very very wrong.

• For all those men who say, 'Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? Here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!

Well said. I have nothing to add.

*All "mistakes" in this post will be blamed on said wine or my cat curled up beside me throwing hair on the keyboard.

I'm always up for some wrinkle-free smileys.

And your point?

I was reading a discussion earlier about whether or not your humor is affected by your mood. In my case, I would have to say absolutely and totally! I tend to get real sarcastic when I'm feeling a bit witchy (note choice of words reflecting the season). I checked my mood thermometer this morning and this is what it showed me:

Maybe it's because I was planning to run 13+ miles today. Or maybe it's because my Mom called. Mothers have this magical spell that just by tone of voice, a look, osmosis, or body language invokes the guilt gene in their daughters.

I had a friend tell me that when she turned 40 she stopped caring what anyone thought about her or her opinions! I was impressed. At that time, 40 was still a little ways off and after our conversation, I was innocently looking forward to this kind of freedom. Now that I've been there and done that and it's been awhile, I'm finding that she was just so very, very wrong. Damn!

For those of you not yet 40, please do not worry. It's easy and it's a blast. I was working in an office at the time and there were about 6 of us turning 40 within a 6-9 month period. The cube decorations and gags moved from one cube to the next. It was hilarious. I remember that someone disabled my phone, hid my mouse ball (just to be clear it's the computer mouse) and my cube was full of black balloons, black crepe paper, and confetti. The gag gifts I remember were a magnifying glass and a grim reaper Halloween decoration. Sounds lame, but it was fun. There was probably more but I've got CRS (Can't Remember Sh*t) so this will have to do.

Writing this post, practicing deep breathing, and having finished the 13+ miles upright and with all limbs intact has given me the therapy I need. From this day forward, sensitivity be damned. No more guilt. Please just kiss my a**.

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I'm tickled pink that you stopped by and actually made it to the end of this post. My mood will get an ever bigger boost with a smiley. Also, I post @3 times a week. Get the latest by subscribing or become a follower and view the latest post on your dashboard (Blogger).

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Of mice and fortuitous men

Before you start freaking out that I'm posting about rats, it won't be that bad. I promise!! As I continue to write posts, I find myself getting re-educated about lots of stuff/junk/crap that I thought I used to know.

So today it's rats/rodents/mice - at least to start. We all love Tom and Jerry, right? That is we like to think lightly of rodents in their animated form rather than their grotesque, scary and nasty manifestation as house/yard pests.

You're probably asking if maybe I'm in need of some cheese and some of Deb's traps. Not yet. But my mother is and that's another story. Let's just say one surprised her while she was indisposed in the bathroom. That has to be the last place anybody wants to see an unwanted houseguest!

I'm actually talking about The Year of the Rat.

What were the Chinese thinking, I asked of Wikipedia?

"The rat was welcomed in ancient times as a protector and bringer of material prosperity. It is an animal associated with aggression, wealth, charm, and order, yet also associated with death, war, the occult, pestilence, and atrocities."

At least they seem to touch on that little issue of THE PLAGUE.

There's more:

"People born in the Year of the Rat are noted for their charm and attraction for the opposite sex. They work hard to achieve their goals, acquire possessions, and are likely to be perfectionists. They are basically thrifty with money. Rat people are easily angered and love to gossip. Their ambitions are big, and they are usually very successful. They are most compatible with people born in the years of the Dragon, Monkey, and Ox.

You are imaginative. You are generous. You can be quick tempered. You will be happy as a writer, critic or publicist."

Hum....sounds like blogger me but I wasn't born in a RAT year. I'm a TIGER. I'm happy about that as it means I roar rather than squeak.

Back to the Chinese and more thinking. So what's the story on Fortune Cookies, I again ask of Wikipedia? To summarize, there is a legend that indicates that they were a way to pass secret messages. They were also brought to the U.S. by the Japanese, not the Chinese.

I always liked the little game where you say "in bed" after reading your fortune. I know. Yawn. We've all heard it but it can be really funny.

This is what was in my fortune cookie recently:

"Your genuine talent will find its way to success."

Hum.....I'm so talented. Which one are they talking about?

Just kidding. I'll probably have more luck with the 6 numbers on the back.

Hubby got this one:

"The evening promises romantic interests".

He was giving me a look. Maybe I should be glad he wasn't looking around.

Adding "in bed" takes this post somewhere else entirely so let's just leave it at that.

You know how every so often you'll get one and it hits home? Hubby has several of those in a drawer. If you've got one handy, I'd love to read about it in the comments. Or if it's a good one for "in bed" at the end, I'll take those too.

Yeah. My weekend was real exciting and yes I had Chinese Food. I almost forgot. I watched Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. I liked it. Yeah. I know. I'm living up to the Geek part of my name. I also spent some time sleeping and organizing a Halloween costume. Yippee. I think I now have a plan. Hint: Wigs

Catch Deb and many other funny folks at Humor Bloggers.com.