St-st-st-stuttering Salutations

Another round of some "interesting" spam has recently hit my mailbox and provided blog fodder. How do these people think of these things? I received an email from someone in Africa with the following salutation:

dedear shtiwe

Is this a stutter?

Did someone sneeze?

Is "shtiwe" really a name in any of the African languages?

Maybe they meant:

Dear Shitweed

After shifting a few letters around, I'm a shitweed, whatever that is.

Um...thanks.

I wasn't surprised to find that this dear friend in Africa needed so much of my personal information. I drafted a reply:

1. Name in full: FRefoUrmLingGeLek
2. Address: Will a skirt do?
3. Nationality: I'm a woman. I'm from Venus.
4. Age: Yes, most liquor is better that way.
5. Sex: Not with you.
6. Occupation: I wasn't alive then.
7. Marital status: You mean like "rawks", "meh" or "sucks"?
8. Phone no: Phone yes.
9. Fax: No, lies.
10. Your photo picture: I'll show you mine if you'll show me yours.

Oh yeah. I expect to receive my money any day now.

In other news, Mother Nature needs an update to her meds.

She brings us spring beauty:



but she can be downright nasty sometimes:


Look at the variety of shapes of hail in this photo. These are some of the smaller stones than the clouds pooped on us a few weeks ago. The stones with the jagged edges are particularly nasty. I can find corresponding shingle damage on my roof.

Photo credits: ReformingGeek's Hubby. He's good like that.