Tuesday, August 25, 2009

The Crow and her Foot Fetish Goes Plastic

Over at Humor Bloggers Dot Com, some warped, twisted person with an elevator that doesn't quite make it to the top floor decided that we should write a post about feet. Huh? Surely, that is a typo. Feet? Maybe they meant feast? Yeah, food. I can do that.

But, no, I double-checked and the topic is feet.

I like feet. I even like my feet. Sorry, no photo. I really don't want to get strange emails from FootFetishFrankie after he googles and finds this post.

I don't like crow's feet, though, and I'm not talking about the ones attached to the bottom of the crow. After considering the alternative of not growing older or getting Botox injections, I decided on plastic surgery. How do you like my new look?


Going blond wasn't as exciting as I thought it would be. On the other hand, maybe I should sue the surgeon.

Whoa! Back away from me with that torch. Plastic melts and I'm getting a little scared over here.


Have you noticed that people with unattractive feet wear shoes that show the most foot? Isn't that like guys wearing speedos that disappear within the folds of their body? EEEWWWW! Then there are the folks that go to nudists colonies. These are not usually the folks you'd want to see naked.

FEET, Reforming Geek, FEET!

Sigh.

Let's look at a slightly different meaning for "feet". About how many feet up this tree in my front yard is this stylish decoration?


That's right. It's a skin missing its snake. Hint: My 8-foot aluminum ladder is not tall enough to peek in the hole, and, yes, I will get on a ladder even though I'm scared of heights. Hubby did not seem inclined to pull out the heavy duty ladders to check on this situation over the weekend. He said something about his computer hard drive was crashing, his tires needed rotating, he needed to re-organize his sock drawer and then wash his hair. You know, the normal stuff a guy has to do on the weekend.

I can understand why people struggle with the English/Engrish language but the plural of
foot is feet, not "feets"!!!

So what else can I tell you about
feet? Not much but did you know that Texas has our own version of Bigfoot? Our version is the Lake Worth monster.

Um...yeah. Let me get my camera....



Photo credits: painted barbie: Lorelei92950 on flickr.com, Creative Commons license (see sidebar), hanging snakeskin: ReformingGeek.

35 comments:

Quirkyloon said...

Hey no fair! Feet posts aren't supposed to go up til Friday! Friday Feet Day!

hee hee hee

Okay, so you wanted to stand out as the FIRST. I get that.

And that Lake Worth monster is not real. How do I know? No picture. So there!

hee hee

You silly Reffers!

Nooter said...

yep, they hang horse-thievin snakes around these here parts as well

ReformingGeek said...

@Quirky - Of course I had to be first and I needed something to write about and I didn't see the part about Friday. I only remembered it was this week.

;-)

Of course our BigFoot is real and big, real big! hehe.

@Nooter - Are you missing your horse?

Queen-Size funny bone said...

oh I am sooooo the opposite I hate feet except for baby feet and those are not really feet there piggies.

The Old Silly said...

Writing about feet can be quite a feet (sp?), said the Old Silly, munching on his footlong hot dog. Hey - forgot my wallet - do me a favor, RG - can you foot the bill for my dog? Oh thanks, I'll have to do a feeture post on you once I get back on my feet.

Gawd, that was horrible. Oh well, tried. ;)

Marvin D Wilson

ReformingGeek said...

@Queen-size - Just think how hard it would be to stand-up without feet.

@Marvin - LOL. I think I'll go straight for the fete.

Skye said...

I love play on words and fun facts of the English language. It's got to be the most confusing language known to mankind.

I hope you don't mind, but I'm going to suggest you go read my newest post, I found an interesting poem that I put up. Hope you have fun trying to read it! :D

Skye said...

Oh, by the way, the plural of foot should be foots, not feets...lol

mama-face said...

Who IS your makeup artist! You need a bit more shadow! Plenty of mascara though.

Feet are funny. And you are dang lucky to have a husband who will reorganize his sock drawer.

ReformingGeek said...

@Skye - Yes, it should be foots and that poem was something else!

@mama-face - That's funny. I usually do need a bit more shadow and blush and less mascara! ;-)

Deb said...

I'd be more concerned about that empty snake skin than feet, RG. Somewhere nearby is a naked snake in search of clothing. Did you check your closet to see if that pink boa you have is missing?

Lunatron (aka Jamie) said...

Hmmm... feet. That's a tough one. I'll have to give it some thought. Right after I change my pants. Seeing that snake skin made me pee a little.

Hit 40 said...

We have a teacher who is missing her big toe. It freaks the kids out. She loves to wear sandals that show off the missing big piggie. I told the kids to buck it up and quit being mean...

Kids!!

ReformingGeek said...

@Deb - Maybe that's what the cat ate to make him puke!

@Jamie - Sorry about that!

@Hit40 - That is a bit freaky!

Bee said...

I used to have pretty feet. Now they look like they were run over by a tractor. :o(

MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings said...

Warped and twisted here. I love it that in a post about feet, you managed to squeeze in a bit about an animal that doesn't have feet and a bit about one of my favorite subjects, Bigfoot (for more, see http://www.toomanymornings.com/?p=1057).

I think your new look is fantastic, by the way, at least in the sense that it eliminates crow's feet. I mean, there's not a hint of crow's feet on that face, plus you look very awake and positive.

Nice job!

WWWebb said...

Then there are the folks that go to nudists colonies. These are not usually the folks you'd want to see naked.

Stop paraphrasing me.

The proper aphorism goes like this:

"The problem with both karaoke and nudism is that it's usually the wrong people."

Cheers,

WWWebb

ReformingGeek said...

@Bee - I'm sure your feet are beautiful!

@MikeWJ - Go Bigfoot!

@WWWebb - I've never seen it phrased quite that way.

The Constant Complainer said...

RG, I'm in the same boat as you - I don't care to hear, think or discuss feet. Haha. Seriously. I always wear socks and agree with you - the second you start talking about it, you'll have some gooft foot-fettish lover contacting you on here. LOL.

Prefers Her Fantasy Life said...

I love feet. In fact, I think a good foot massage is better than sex.

Maureen said...

Ew... feet are almost as scary as that snakeskin.

Almost.

ReformingGeek said...

@Constant - Either that or someone looking for snakes.

@Prefers - I could go for a good foot massage right now.

@Maureen - Yeah. Almost.

Jean Knee said...

well aren't you special, got your own monster and all?


my feet are ugly

Collette said...

Feet, huh? As long as I put some polish on my toes, they're not too bad. I don't care much for feet myself. If we didn't need them to walk on, I'd go without.
Gorgeous make-over except maybe a little too much botox. Makes you look ind of, well, plastic. lol. You're still a doll though! :)

ReformingGeek said...

@Jean - I don't know. That monster was last seen headed south....towards Waco.

@collette - Thanks. I do feel a little stiff today. Maybe I should put some lotion on my face or something.

Mary@Holy Mackerel said...

I can't even say the word "feet" without feeling sick to my stomach. Feet are just gross. There's no two ways about it.

And I'm wondering now why I can't get into Humorbloggers?? What the?? I've been away for awhile, but really....anyone have any ideas, please let me know. I'm feeling very ostracized now...

ReformingGeek said...

@Mary - Sorry to gross you out. As for HumorBloggers, you might send them an email if you haven't already.

nonamedufus said...

What a great feet-ure. I toe-tally loved it. I think you've got it nail-ed.

Chaotically Calm said...

And you're right the English language is a chore for just that reason. The plural of feet should be feets what's with this foot crap. And how about mouse converting to mice instead of mouses.

Oh wait this is a feets post. Well I have issues with those people with crusty feets wearing sandals. I have a bottle of lotion for them...and a sander if need be.

ReformingGeek said...

@nonamedufus - You are toe much, just toe much.

@chaotic - Hubby may need your sander!

Winky Twinky said...

Wow, I hope the thing that shed that skin really did head for Waco... I'd be scared it was hiding in my house somewhere (shivers) Happy Feet Day, it was fun!! ;)

Quirkyloon said...

And I bet you have the most fit feet ever!

Toned and limber.

Hey BBFF, I left you something at my blog.

And...

Happy trails to you and your running feet! *smile*

otin said...

Why do we have feet anyway, wouldn't four hands be more efficient???

ReformingGeek said...

@Winky - Bon voyage, Snake! Yeah. Foot day was fun.

@Quirky - Happy Foots Day to you, too! Um...yes, you did, didn't you!

@Otin - Lol! But I think we need the things at the bottom of our legs to be big enough to support us!

Bloggin Betty said...

Came over from Hit 40--and I seriously look at my feet all the time! I never realized it until now, but I am very worried about how they look. Now I am going to pay even more attention.


"1.00s, 1.50s, 1.75s for the short arms. If you know what I'm talking about, you're probably old, too."

"Boomer brain fog: What was the last, middle, and first part of what you just said to me?"