Friday, October 3, 2008

Who are you and what have you done with my husband?

I think I mentioned that hubby attended the Beginner's Yoga Conference while we were in Colorado and that he enjoyed it. I'm not sure if this influenced his latest announcement on the way to dinner tonight or if it's the reality of the 1/2 century milestone that is approaching faster than he wants to admit:

"I've decided I want to climb Mt. McKinley".

"WTF" I say. "That's 20,320 feet and takes, like, uh....months" (mentally making a note to check his life insurance policy).

At least he didn't say Kilimanjaro.

He goes on to explain that this year we did a hike to a peak at 10,000 feet and next year we'll do one that is 12,000 feet and next year 14,000 feet so we'll build up to it, right? Notice how it's now "we"? Seriously, I don't think he expects me to accompany him but I'm not really sure......

Now if he had said Mt. Rainier (2 to 3 days) maybe, but McKinley? Geez.

I'm starting to worry about him. He says he likes hiking/climbing better than scuba diving. (Another mental note: arrange for Ebay auction of slightly used scuba equipment).

So if he goes thru with this and he meets up with the grim reaper because of a slight misstep, I've come up with a list of requirements for the next guy that might be a part of my life. (Hubby and I joke about this all the time).

Non-negotiable requirements:
  1. Plunges toilets.
  2. Designs and then performs grunt work on large household projects (e.g. kitchen and bathroom tear down and rebuild).
  3. Supportive of crazy wife/companion who trains for long distance races.
  4. Likes Mexican food (In Texas, this won't be a difficult requirement to meet).
  5. Digs large holes to plant trees that will most likely die.
  6. Climbs to high places (like the roof of our 2nd story).
  7. Able to effectively operate basic household appliances such as washer/dryer, dishwasher, and vacuum cleaner.
  8. Opens wine and makes a mean margarita.
  9. Correctly identifies and demonstrates use of all power tools in the garage.
  10. Assists parents and other family members with their computer problems.
  11. Learns quickly/trainable.
  12. Able to follow Heroes, surf the web, and work Evil Sudoku puzzles at the same time.
Although this is supposed to be funny, I realize that what I'm really saying is that since it was easy to come up with this list, I must be a very lucky gal. I'd better make sure he trains adequately for that McKinley expedition or maybe I can talk him into to something else; like training lions, or bear wrestling, or commuting to and from work everyday with other stressed-out drivers in need of some serious yoga. ;-)


Deb said...

That is EXACTLY why I do not do yoga. See what it does to people? Makes them go all inner-peace and wanting to be one with the universe.

ReformingGeek said...

Hubby is now insisting it had nothing to do with the yoga....must be the mid-life crises. Maybe he should get a corvette and cruise for voluptuous blonds. ;-)

Anonymous said...

Yoga wow, I love a flexible man and the list sounds great!

"1.00s, 1.50s, 1.75s for the short arms. If you know what I'm talking about, you're probably old, too."

"Boomer brain fog: What was the last, middle, and first part of what you just said to me?"