Wednesday, October 22, 2008

You want me to go where?

Some of you know that I teach Group Fitness classes. Since I spend most of my time laying around managing the cat not working a full-time job, I'm often called upon to help out (sub/teach for someone else) in "emergencies". I don't have a problem with someone planning ahead for a sub when they have vacation or whatever but it's the emergencies that can be very amusing and a little frustrating:

Some examples:
  • My child is sick/hurt. OK. No problem.
  • I've got the flu. Yeah, that happens. Again, no problem.
  • It's my son's birthday tomorrow. didn't know that before today?
  • It's my daughter's first day of school tomorrow. Again, hello, don't you have a calendar handy?
Anyway, my "boss" called me last night and said she needed to cover another class so I could pretty please go to the gym across town and teach her class? I'm such a suck-up sucker. I said I would. Keep in mind that I get freaked out about being "lost". This gym is about 30 miles from my house and the last time I was in the area I wasn't driving. You probably think I'm nuts but this makes a big difference for me.

Reminds me of a story about my dad and the definition of "lost". Back in the late 60's/early 70's, my parents were very involved in a local Southern Baptist church. Being Southern Baptist, this meant Tuesday nights were "visitation" which is going out to all the folks that were "new" at the church on the previous Sunday. My dad was driving with another man and they were going round and round trying to find a specific house. He finally stopped the car, turned to his companion and said "I'm lost". His companion was obviously shocked and very concerned. He immediately responded "Let us pray". I hope you understand the Baptist definition of lost is "not saved/burn in hell". My poor dad. He just prayed with the man. I have no idea if they ever found the house.

Back to my story. Have you ever noticed that if you say "I have to go to such-and-such place" that you immediately have 3 people tell you how to do it? I'd rather hear someone say "I'm very familiar with that area. Let me know if you need directions" . Yeah, I know. That's not how it works.

I can be a bit directionally challenged and subject to Brain Fog so I asked "What would Sarah Palin do?" I figured she would go to Google Maps and have them tell her how to get there. So I did and I was really confused when this showed up:

Directions in hand, I get in my car and type in the address into my navigational system (more fun toys to help me NOT get lost) and it gives me a weird route but I take it anyway.

I got there on time with no significant issues or panic attacks even while driving thru some parts of town that reminded me of the television coverage from Hurricane Katrina back in 2005.

I think I will make my own excuses next time. "I'm sorry I can't do it. It's my cat's first day of obedience training and we all know he really, really needs it".

Of course if they offer to double my rate-of-pay, I might be a bit more obliging!


Ed said...

"I'm lost"..."Let us pray"...

I'm dying... That was funny. I like your navigation system to but watch out for furballs...

Unknown said...

Yes, indeedy, we have that collection of directions-givers around here, too. The ones who like to give you directions based on the landmarks that USED to be there, 30 years ago.


helpful. :)

ReformingGeek said...

@ve - Thanks. Right now, we have to watch out for the stupid squirrels with their mouths crammed full of acorns. ;-)

@jenn - Yep....Turn when you see Bud's farm with the big white cow in the field....huh? The gym I went to is new so Bud's farm is long gone. We do get weird stuff like a farm next to strip shopping centers though.

Deb said...

I'm with VE here - that "I'm lost" comment from your dad was a riot!

You have 'strip shopping centers'? Wow. I've never had to strip to shop, but you're in a warmer climate than Maine, so I guess it makes sense.

Marvel Goose said...

being male, I just go uh hu, uh-hu, when anyone gives directions so they'll think I'm listening. Then I go put the address in the GPS.

ReformingGeek said...

@deb - "Let us pray" ;-) Maybe "strip" means removing your money.

@marvel - Yeah. I've done that too.

"1.00s, 1.50s, 1.75s for the short arms. If you know what I'm talking about, you're probably old, too."

"Boomer brain fog: What was the last, middle, and first part of what you just said to me?"