Open Letter to Perry

Dear Perry,

You are not my friend. Do not send me a friend request on Facebook. DO NOT follow me on Twitter. Do not comment on my blog. I do not like you. GET IT?

GO AWAY.

So who is this Perry, ReformingGeek?

OK. Here's the story. First, I must tell the guys that you can move on towards the end of this post where I have a reality check and a special treat for you (and a snack for Nooter). On the other hand, feel free to read all the gory details because just when you thought you understood how to manage her PMS.....


When you turn 40, your doctor tells you that Perry will be visiting you from now until the CHANGE. Um....huh? That's right. Perry will stop by and wave stab you with a wand and you will experience fluctuations in your.....er....monthly cycle. You will have mood swings, hot flashes, followed by a visit from Mr. Freeze. You will find yourself giving those around you the stink eye more often than you want to admit.


You will experience brain farts, brain fog, and brain explosion (must be great for the zombies). Your energy will be sucked away during the night and that weekend of junk food and adult beverages clings to your belly, hips, and thighs like a newborn babe on a......oh never mind.

And Perry, when did you stop understanding that MONTHLY is the minimum acceptable frequency?


Treatments include chocolate, shoes, date nights, vacations, Kiefer Sutherland and Matt Damon fixes, chocolate, shoes, date nights, vacations, etc.

Did I tell you about the brain fog? That's right. Perry again. Sometimes I repeat myself.

I'm so glad I have someone to blame.

But wait. There's more.

Guys, something similar happens to you. You will need $$ and more $$ because most of you will be purchasing some sort of vehicle. Money will also be needed for all the extra medical testing because of issues with the "cough" exam or the finger exam or the too-much-stress test. You will feel like a walking pharmacy with new medications for this, that, and the other. Hats will be needed to cover heads because the hair up there just isn't adequate anymore. And that extra stuff around the middle? Yeah. It's a lot harder to get rid of now. Sorry, guys.

OK, Guys, this one's for YOU:


Kidding. Kidding.

Is this better?



No, Nooter, not yet. Stop slobbering all over the human's lap. Here's your snack:

Wait. I think I'll have one, too. Yum.

Photo credits: Mr. Freeze: imdb.com, corvette ladies and Brats: istockphoto.com

Thumbing a Ride on the Eight Ball in the Corner Pocket

Yep. It's still hot here (although it rained yesterday!!!) and the heat and the dry weather has caused one of the roller coasters at Six Flags Over Texas to be shut down. Don't worry. It wasn't the ride we were on when you guys were here for the road trip. You guys didn't break it. It's the giant wooden roller coaster next to it that throws you around like a whip. YIKES!

In other news, the landscaping is started to talk back to me. I received this note from one of my garden plants:

Dear ReformingGeek Thumb,

Get off yourself! Your ego is overgrown, unlike ME. You must be colorblind. You think you're green? Ha! You are brown and pasty, you withering, pale, sorry excuse for a digit. You don't even curve correctly.

You are disgusting. You can't even make ME grow. That's right. Me. I'm ivy, for Heaven's sake. Yeah. Yeah. I know I was purchased off the clearance rack but you planted me in unhappy soil and angered Mother Nature so that she turned the fires of Hell upon me. You let Abdul and those other roofers rest shingles upon my vine and trod upon me.

You do not deserve to continue gardening. Step away. Now.

Signed,

Your New Ivy.

How rude. I can't just turn the other cheek. That was very insulting. I countered with the following:

Dear New Ivy,

Same to you (sticking out tongue). You can't even grow in a nourishing environment next to your relatives. You brown, pasty, sorry excuse for a plant. I shall feed you to the compost pile to punish you for your insults. I will visit with my other plants that actually grow and that don't write me nasty notes.

Signed,

ReformingGeek Finger (you know which one)

There. Take that.

But wait. There's more.

Quirky has tagged me with a meme. When I read her post, I thought she had discovered a new fruit as she described being given a lemon and making memelade. Somehow, this sounds appetizing. This meme has a bunch of eights in it. You will be seeing lists with eight items here and there or you may just see 8's or eight-liners, eight-balls, or Eight is Enough reruns.

Sorry. I got carried away...again.

Eight things I did yesterday:

1. Watched it rain and enjoyed a break from the heat!
   
2. Let the cat in and out and listened to him whine at us for making his world wet.
3. Made breakfast burritos. YUM!
   
4. Shopped for groceries and parted with way too much money for just a few bags of food.
   
5. Had dinner with Hubby family.
6. Ran 8 miles at the park and then had to wring out my shorts before I could get back into the car. I forgot my towel so I had to sit on a canvas grocery bag to drive home.
   
7. Laundry, including my running clothes. Got bleach?
   
8. Watched part of Ice Age 2 on TV while checking in with the Texas Rangers and Tampa Bay Rays baseball game. The Rangers won!
   

Woot. Yippee. It gets exciting 'round these parts sometimes.

Photo credit: ReformingGeek digit: ReformingGeek

Memorial Day, Construction Notice, and Open Letter

I hope everyone is having a nice weekend and has taken a moment to honor those that have made the ultimate sacrifice for our freedom.

The rain has given me an excuse to not work in the yard too much so I've moved forward with the Geek Blog re-design. I hope you like it. I still have a few tweaks so be patient if things move around a bit. Yes, eventually, the tabs will navigate to something reasonably fun, or at least funny!

The not-so-nice Mother Nature cursed me Sunday as I was out for a peaceful run. Since this isn't the first time she has abused me, I wrote her a complaint letter:

Dear Ms. Fickle M. Nature;

Next time, I will use my weather machine against you, you sadistic Ruler of the Elements. Yes. I saw the big swollen cloud and I've seen many like them in the past that have been whisked away leaving me disappointed. When the little droplets of water started falling on me, I thanked you. I was getting hot and it felt nice.

Then your mood changed, you schizoid, sorry excuse for someone in charge of nature. Your cloud no longer dripped on me. It morphed into a giant pitcher and starting to pour its contents on me every step of the way. Even the momma duck and her ducklings went for cover.
You and gravity must be having a fling. Thank you for removing the sweat from my forehead and letting it slide into my eyes. OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! I had to close my eyes and then I started to weave. Any spectator of this geek girl out for a run would think she swallowed something extra in her morning tea.

You would not cease and desist. You continued to pour on me as I amazingly safely crossed the street into the last 1/2 mile of my route. My feet were heavy with your liquid and my eyes were still burning and I was sure my transmogrification into a fish was about to be complete.

Fortunately for you, there is a happy ending.

I will forgive you....THIS TIME!

Hubby was waiting in the garage with a beach towel. I dried off and stepped into the house. You must have found someone else to drench as you turned the rain up a notch for the next 40 minutes. For that, I thank you.

Yours truly,

ReformingGeekFish

Photo credits: Ducks: some email