Sunday, February 1, 2009

22 years

Hubby and I celebrated our 22nd wedding anniversary Saturday.


Him: You left me an empty toilet paper roll.
Her:
The roll had 2 sheets left. We shouldn't be wasteful Sweetie.

Him: You're right, Dear. What's a bit of unwiped poop when I've got the best wife ever!


So, 22 years married to the same guy? Are you Ward and June Cleaver?

Uh.....no. June would always make sure there was a full roll of butt wiping paper for Ward when he needs to "read a magazine". June always had dinner on the table and she was all clean and fresh before Ward arrived home. Wally and The Beaver and their cat were well-behaved.....

Very funny. Definitely. Not. Happening.

Now, back to the post. Here's a few more perspectives:
Her: "Yes, Dear" goes a long way.
Him: Lots of compromise is needed.
Her: Um....


Her: Tease each other regularly about who will have to take the cat in case of a split up.
Him: You will take the cat.


Her: Shoe shopping is encouraged as it is therapeutic.
Him: Beer tasting is encouraged as it is therapeutic.


Him: Don't make fun of the movie I'm watching by uttering "Frodo, Frodo, we are not in Kansas anymore."
Her: Ah....but it's funny and you take it so seriously ;-)


Her: Avoid overly detailed descriptions of the "really cool" Assembler or "C" programming algorithms you encountered at work today. (If you know what I'm talking about, you're probably a geek like me.)
Him: Try not to bore me to tears with talk of your online buddies and crazy blog posts.


Her: Consume copious amounts of wine and margaritas.
Him: Consume copious amounts of beer, wine, and margaritas.
Her: Hum....why does he need more alcohol than me?


Her:
Limit conversations about the hot babe you encountered at the gym or the latest hottie at the office. But if you must go on and on about the hottie, soothe any possible hurt feelings with kind words about my appearance. Telling me how great I look after running or first thing in the morning or even thanking me for showering today all go a long way.

Him: Reassure me that my butt isn't big and I have nice pecs. Don't drool when Sawyer appears without a shirt on LOST.


Her:
No extraneous baggage in the bedroom.
Him: So Catherine Zeta-Jones isn't coming over?
Her: Actually, this means the cat doesn't sleep with us. Can Kiefer come over?

Her: Rescue me when I'm the damsel in distress.
Him: OK, but only if you learn the names of my power tools and call them by the correct name when I'm using them.


Him:
I want a corvette for my mid-life crises.
Her: I want a pool boy.

I'm no expert on marriage but here's a few things that are really important:

Agree on how the money will be managed (assuming there is any).
Him: Here's the money. You manage it.
Her: Cool.


Develop your own hobbies but spend time together doing things you both enjoy.
Him: I'm taking up skydiving.
Her: Bye. WHOA! Hang on. Let me check your life insurance policy....OK. We're good. Have fun, Sweetie.


Find a balance between your career and your family.
Her: So I guess this means that my secret life as a spy will have to take a a back seat to being a housewife and part-time fitness professional. "Sorry, dear. Dinner will be late tonight as I'm fighting terrorism in some crazy, screwed-up country overseas so that they won't come here and blow us up."
Him: My wife constantly rains on my dream parade about being able to collect a big fat paycheck without having to work.


Don't sweat the small stuff. Support each other during the big stuff.
Her: I got laid off.
Him:
I'm sorry, Hon, but your job sucked. How much severance did you say you're getting?

It's been good. I'll keep him. Besides, it's just too hard to replace him.

Smiley votes are also keepers and they are appreciated.

Visit humor-blogs.com or humorbloggers.com for more crazy folks talking about crazy things.

Photo courtesy of istockphoto.com.

17 comments:

dizzblnd said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
dizzblnd said...

22 years without killing him? You deserve a medal. I am coming up on 18 years.


The conversations are funny.. I like the skydiving one the best, followed closely by the severance package

ReformingGeek said...

@Thanks. He hasn't killed me either. ;-)

VE said...

I'm coming up on one year...I'm a little behind you...

And judges ruling...LOTR IS serious viewing. He was wrong...

Bee said...

Wow... TWENTY TWO YEARS?? Holy crap! Wow.

Felicidades!

Also, when we're watching the lord of the rings I do the voice over for Sam and Frodo: "Oh Sam I've loved you all this time!" and then "I have to Frodo Baggins, kiss me!" because I'm an adult like that. ;o)

So much fun!

ReformingGeek said...

@VE - I can handle LOTR for about 2 hours and then I'm asleep. Of course he's wrong....

@Bee. Thanks. If you can't laugh, well....what do we have, right?

Elizabeth said...

22 years, that's great! My husband and I are on our 8th. And we had some major disagreements about LOTR too. I walked out of the theater on the first two because I was bored to tears. (I wouldn't even go to the third one, although he really tried to get me to watch it with him.) Now that he has them on DVD's he likes to watch all three of them in a row, which is fine because whenever he does this I go shoe shopping!

Jean Knee said...

ahhhh, that crazy little thing called love

Marvin D. Wilson said...

Man can I relate to THIS post - I been hitched for 33 years! So been there done ALL dat! LOL

Cool blog! Followed ya over from Quirky Loony - I'll be back.

Marvin D Wilson
http://inspiritandtruths.blogspot.com/
http://tiedyedtirades.blogspot.com/
http://twitter.com/Paize_Fiddler

ReformingGeek said...

@Elizabeth - What is it with that movie? It's a good story but it IS boring!

@Jean Knee - Crazy is right!

@Marvin - Stop back anytime!

Marissa said...

Pretty damn funny post. My husband gets annoyed when I use his ball peen hammer as a regular hammer. And how are we supposed to know that a drill is a drill when, apparently, it can be used interchangeably as a screwdriver if said husband has the right "bits" for it.

Besides, it's not like as if a typical husband would know the difference if we're wearing a pair of pumps - or mules. So there!

Jacki said...

Congratulations!! This is me and Peter:

Her: Shoe shopping is encouraged as it is therapeutic.
Him: Beer tasting is encouraged as it is therapeutic.

Marissa said...

Hey I have one of those pencil sharpeners in your photo (the black one). Cute.

ReformingGeek said...

@Marissa - Thanks. Ah...drills. Way too complex. And he's also got a power screwdriver. You're right. He doesn't know shoes.

Didn't know they were pencil sharpeners. Ha!

@Jacki - Yep. It probably describes a lot of folks.

dani c said...

Congrats and many blessings as well as sanity :)

Tattoo Jim said...

Congrats on 22 years!! My beautiful wife and I have been married 34 years (June of this year will be 35) and we are still best friends. That's cause she's the most wonderful person in my world!! Couldn't and wouldn't want to be without her. I'm hoping for another 35 at least! So come on... I'll race you there!!!!!!

ReformingGeek said...

@dani c - Thanks. It's the insanity that is so fun!

@Tatto Jim - Thanks. I'm impressed. Being best friends certainly helps. I feel the same way.


"1.00s, 1.50s, 1.75s for the short arms. If you know what I'm talking about, you're probably old, too."

"Boomer brain fog: What was the last, middle, and first part of what you just said to me?"