Tuesday, February 17, 2009

What's in an e-Name?

Most of us probably have a love/hate relationship with email. It's nice to have a tool to keep in touch with the world but it's so easily abused that we scream in frustration. Sometimes I wonder if we are all typing robots programmed to shut down our brains when we open our email programs.

I've come up with a few names for some of the more popular irritants most of us experience on a daily basis:

  • Eloise, the E-former. This is the person who has to inform all of us with every joke, meme, cool website, video, or chain letter they receive. Sometimes this is done responsibly and THANK YOU to those of you that are screening what you get and intelligently passing on to the appropriate friends and family. For the rest of you, well.....um.....STEP AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER AND GET A LIFE! NOW!
  • Ester, E-granny on Steroids: Getting the same email over and over again from the same person, usually an older female relative. Um....is this a symptom of dementia? Please, no...... Is this a symptom of dementia? Not remembering what you just did or said (or asked)?

Ethel: Where's the stamp for my email?
Bud: Just Oogle it, Ethel!

Where was I?

Oh yeah. Names.
  • You may have heard of Linky-Love but let me introduce you to Linky-NO-Love: Chain emails. You know the drill. Do this and something wonderful will happen or if you don't do this, something bad will happen. WTF? Don't expect me to forward a chain letter. If it was something sweet, I may say thank you or nothing at all. Please don't take it personally.
  • Tina the Texting Wizard: Tina, and probably most kiddos, use so many abbreviations that you have to consult Urban Dictionary several times to comprehend their emails.
  • E-A-D-D. The person who obviously suffers from Attention Deficit Disorder and doesn't read all of the email, missing an important question or request.
  • Last Word Lucy: The person who has trouble finishing an email conversation and must have the last word and maybe it should have been a chat. OK. I'll admit to this.
  • Dissertation Denise: Denise can't get her point across in just a few sentences. She must compose an essay to convey her point. How about a summary at the beginning Denise?

I'm sure there are some others, especially in the workplace. I didn't go there. I'd still be typing.


Chat Blanc said...

oh yeah! and the list for the workplace would be endless!! :)

United Studies said...

This is so true! I just don't understand all those chain emails...and guess what? Now they have migrated to cell phones! My sister gets forwards on her cell phone. I question her sanity in wanting to pay for someone to send her an old recycled joke as a text message.

Anonymous said...

These are great RefGeek! So true, so true! Thanks for helping us get a laugh out of it instead of pulling out some more hair!


Ed said...

They're all female. I knew it! I never need the last word.

Tracy Rambles On And On said...

Oh, I love, LOVE the old people emails.
Sometimes you'll get the email but when you open it, it's blank.
Wanda Sykes did an awesome bit on it in her stand up.
And I don't care how much bad luck it's going to give me or what car is going to run me over when, I do not forward those chain emails. I hate them.

ReformingGeek said...

@Chat Blanc - I had a boss that lectured you via email. It was horrible.

@Jacki - On the phone? That's crazy!

@Quirky - You're welcome. People are nuts.

@VE - Yeah. I don't get too many emails from my guy friends except this one guy that likes boobs.....not sure what that's about.

@Tracy - Yep. They are funny about their emails.

Anonymous said...

Hahaha - E-A-D-D. I thought I was the only one who pulls my hair out about those people. (Happens all the time at work.)

Elizabeth said...

"Just Oogle it Ethel" That is hilarous! I'm totally going to use the word Oogle from now on!

ReformingGeek said...

@Marissa - Yeah. I remember it happening quite a bit at work, too.

@Elizabeth - Thanks. Oogle, Ogle, orgre are others I considered.

Unknown said...

Hahahah awesome post..and its true with the phone mails too...

Nooter said...

wonder if underdog has an email address...

ReformingGeek said...

@Dani c - What a waste!

@Nooter - Yeah. I've got a chain letter.....or maybe just a chain.

Deb said...

You are dead on with those! I agree with the comment about old people email. My mother types hers in all capital letters. My dad on the other hand is pretty good - he's a hunt and peck guy, so his e-mails are short and to the point: "How much snow you have? Love Dad". Gotta love 'em!

ReformingGeek said...

@Deb - I like your dad!

"1.00s, 1.50s, 1.75s for the short arms. If you know what I'm talking about, you're probably old, too."

"Boomer brain fog: What was the last, middle, and first part of what you just said to me?"