Thursday, February 12, 2009

Amateur Antics - Shower Up!

OK, folks. Do we not know how to shower without the shower area looking like we've had a flood? If you're a guy, you're probably already thinking that showering is like shopping, a necessary evil and you are most likely very confused by all my fussing.

I'm working part-time at a gym right now. Most of you gym junkies, monkeys, and lizards are doing a great job keeping the place presentable but some of you leave something to be desired. You have become blog fodder and I thank you for the material for today's post.

I have seen the showers after you have been in them and I am not amused. So, guys, after you've finished, do you gather in the middle of the floor for a chat or what? The entire area in front of the showers is dripping wet. And guys, I'm a lady (no, really) and I don't like going in your locker room to tidy-up when I don't know if you're in there dangling around uncovered. Not that I'm a prude but I get my kicks from......

What, did you think I was going to tell you?

So here it is. How to Take a Shower. Listen Up! Ladies, you too.

1. Undress at your locker. Wrap a towel around the areas that are supposed to be covered please.

Your sweaty clothes go in the locker or in your bag. NOT ON THE FLOOR!
Your bag goes on the floor under a bench or somewhere else out of the way. We have limited space folks. Be courteous!

2. Walk directly to the shower. Do not pass go (or gas). Do not collect gossip on the way.

3. While in the showering area, place your towel on the rack or on a stool. Get in the shower and close the curtain - all the way.

4. Turn on the water. Get in (I don't care if the water is still cold). Take care of the cleaning business quickly using soap sparingly. After all, we need to be a greener society right and I don't want to be filling your soap dispenser every day, OK?

5. Turn off the water and towel off in the shower. Step out of the shower on your hand/sweat towel. Complete the drying off process.

6. Clean the shower with the provided squeegee.

No, not really. Just wanted to see if you were paying attention.

7. Stay covered while you finish grooming yourself.

8. Get dressed and get the HECK out of MY gym, placing your used towels in the bin.

Just kidding. I know it's YOUR gym. I just couldn't resist.

And, another thing. Don't ever be rude to the poor sod at the front desk (that's me) who is making sure you have an effing towel for your shower or I WILL SPIT ON YOUR SPIN BIKE ! ! !

Do you think I'm kidding? ;-)


Unknown said...

LOL You tell them! That has to be completely annoying. I would spit on the bike just for kicks and giggles anyway

Anonymous said...

I've NEVER showered at the gym because it always makes me feel dirtier than before I stepped in. A little sweat dripping off my nose is more preferable than a little fungus eating on my body parts.

ReformingGeek said...

@dizzblnd - I need to practice spitting. I never worked as a waitress.

@dana - Fortunately, this gym is reasonably clean. I have not heard of any issues with fungus but a good pair of shower shoes never hurts.

Anonymous said...

If I had a squeegee.
I'd squeegee in the morning
I'd squeegee in the gym shower
All over this land.

I like squeegees.


Anonymous said...

next time someones rude to you just flush the toilet while theyre in the shower once i did this by accident while the human was in his shower boy you woulda thought i tossed a snake in there or something, say thats another idea get a fake snake or a real one and hurl it in there hee hee hee!

Bee (the one who muses) said...

Ummm you forgot to tell them not to do the farmer's nose blowing. You know, when you hold down one nostril and the fling the boogers out the other? I once dated a guy that said he never took a shower at the gym after witnessing a few guys do that. ::shiver!::

Elizabeth said...

I hate people who just walk around naked at the gym. I mean not just in the changing area, I understand that, but they're also by the sinks drying their hair or putting on make-up. Ahh, use a towel!

ReformingGeek said...

@quirky - Squeegees are very fun!

@Nooter - You are such a bad dog!

@Bee - Yuck!

Ed said...

Place your towel on a stool? That's sounds pretty shitty. What kind of unclean locker room allows stools to be laying around! Sheesh!

ReformingGeek said...

@Elizabeth - Yeah, I don't really want to see that, folks.

@VE - I was waiting on someone to comment on that. I would expect you would be the first!

Moderator said...

I saw a dude use the hair dryer to dry off his junk once. It was messed up.

Deb said...

They probably pee in the shower too, those cavemen. If you're going to do it, do it right and spit in their water bottles!

ReformingGeek said...

@Grant - it was still wet, huh?

@Deb - I had originally had that in there but I don't even want to think about that!

Don't get me started on the water situation. We are out of the big jugs of water and you'd think the world was ending. There is a fountain and you can always bring your own.

Unknown said...

I saw some nasty stuff in those gym locker rooms. So nasty that I refused to go back, or so that's my excuse :).

Anonymous said...

crazy idea i know but how do u think credit cruch affected porn?


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