My Interview and My Two Cents!

Quirkyloon, one of the super-duper humor bloggers and the sweetest girl I know out of Mesa, AZ (Yeah, I know. She's the only girl I know in Mesa), interviewed me and wrote this post with my answers. But, hey, I'll take an easy way to create part of a blog post (I'm not proud) so here it is:

The first thing I thought when I opened my eyes this morning was ___________.

I woke up. I get another chance......er......another chance to be funny of course!

What do you like on your pizza?

Let's fold that sucker up and make it a calzone loaded with mushrooms!

I want to be reincarnated as a ________________ so I can _____________.

Let's see. In my last life, I must have been a turtle as it prepared me to be a slow, determined runner in this life. Next time, well, um, I wouldn't mind being Wonder Woman.

Would you prefer to have $10 million dollars right now or $1 million a year for 10 years? Why?

Give me the million every year. That way if I blow it, I know I have another million coming next year. If you give me the $10 million up front and I make a bad decision.......OOPS!

What do you want right now (last Saturday)?

Besides World Peace and Group Hugs and Rainbows and Puppies? Well......I'll take a nice dinner with Hubby (it's our anniversary) and some friends. Wish you were here, Quirky!

When I turn 50, I plan to be _____________.

Uh....50? That's way too close to have to "be" blank. Oh....I get it. Think of something for the _______. Um....I think I need a little more time. When I'm 60, I want to be retired living in paradise.

Do you like your hair? Is it straight and sleek? Wild and unruly?

My hair has a natural wave which frizzes easily. I'm always trying to tone it down which disappoints my mom who claims I used to have such pretty curly hair........Thanks, Mom.

Use three words to describe yourself.

Only 3 words? That can't be done. One Sleeve Short of a Straight Jacket on good days.

David Letterman or Jay Leno?

I'm going to have to go for David but Jay has more hair so....um......No. I'm gonna have to stick with David.

True or False: It's okay to pass gas in public?

Yes. Absolutely. Did I mention I like beans, onions, and garlic? Seriously, if you're alone, go for it, and make sure you're going to be alone for awhile after it oozes out. Otherwise, run for the potty, please, and wait there until the smell is out of your clothes!

I really confused myself on that last one. Just beware if you're around me after I have had a large serving of Pinto beans loaded with onions, garlic, and cilantro. If I could figure out a way to use ass gas as energy, I'd be rich.

Quirkyloon came up with some great questions, didn't she? Believe it or not, I don't think I lied on any of the answers. Of course I would never lie.

Maybe just little tiny ones like whether or not I really have any tattoos.

In other news:

Awhile back I mentioned I would be working a part-time gig in February. I won't bore you with the details of the work I'll be doing but let's say it should be slow enough at times that I will be catching up on my reading, taking cat naps, writing blog posts, improving my Sudoku skills and maybe even looking for a real job.

A real job you say?

Yeah, right.

I went in today to fill out paperwork and get this, they take a mandatory 7.5% out of your part-time salary for an investment alternative to FICA and they still take out for Social Security. I can see how this is going to go.

Hubby: First paycheck, huh?
Me: Yeah. Here it is.
Hubby: Where is the amount?
Me: I think it is in the debit column. Somehow I owe them money.

Or at least that's they way it seems to me.

My two cents on some recent events:

• Oprah's Birthday - Who?
• In Austin, Hackers Change Sign to Warn of Zombies Ahead - I like it! What a great way to describe some of us Texans!
• Mike Phelps Admits to Smoking Pot - OK; could be worse. It's your business but can't you do that behind closed doors?

Tune in Thursday for a caption contest. Win the remaining souvenir from my trip to Maui (assuming the cat doesn't puke on it or I have to sell it to buy shoes).

And, get this? I'm not asking for votes on humor-blogs.com. Can you believe it? It appears that the site has been up and down since the weekend and the javascript inside my template linking to the site was causing my blog to load very slowly waiting for the site to time out or explode or whatever sites do when they die, so enough already. Goodbye. Maybe it will come back later. Maybe not.