First a Giggle, Then a Memory

It's Memorial Day, the unofficial or meteorological start to the summer.  It's already too hot here and yes, I'm whining and fussing about it to Ms. Fickle M. Nature.

Most of the kiddos have a few more days of school but it's essentially over.  Be careful out there!  Recently freed teenage drivers are EVERYWHERE!

I have something serious for you down below but before we get to that I have to share with you a warning that was posted in the manual for my new dishwasher:

To avoid dishwasher damage, do not load the dishwasher 
with paper products, plastic bags, packing materials, 
or anything other than normal, 
dishwasher-safe dishware and kitchenware.

Yeah, somebody probably did.

Now for the serious bit.    I'm piggy-backing on the Saturday Centus writing group today and using the following phrase in a story of 100 words or less:

"May I help you, miss? You look puzzled.”

“Mmmm… thank you, I’m just looking for my father. We came in together a moment ago, but he seems to have wandered off.”  

 *One Moment, One Memory

It's a typical July day in Texas, hot and muggy with a slight breeze.   White specks color the green hill on the horizon.

Reffie checks her purse for a tissue.

"May I help you, miss? You look puzzled.”

“Mmmm… thank you, I’m just looking for my father. We came in together a moment ago, but he seems to have wandered off.” 

 Reffie helps her mom and follows the others.  Words are spoken.  A flag is presented.  Heads bow.

Staring at the tombstone, Reffie whispers, "Mmmm....yes.  I think you are right. He is not here."  

I first noticed these stories over at Tom's Sophisticated Lunacy blog.  Tom is an awesome writer.  Check out his Saturday story here.

*My father was a veteran but he wasn't killed in action.  He's buried in the Veteran's Cemetery in Dallas, Texas.

I hope everyone is enjoying a safe weekend and pausing for a moment to remember.  

Have a great week!

A Special Tribute and a Whopper Devoured...

I mean the whopper will be revealed.  I must have been hungry when I was typing that title.

Thanks to all of you that tried to guess the untruth from my last post.

I will now reveal the "truth".  Hee Hee.

1.  I played trombone.

I was 12.  I had to be different.  It lasted a week.  Then I got a flute.

2.  I am missing a body part.  

My right kidney became infected when I was a baby.  It abscessed and had to be removed.  If my remaining kidney fails, I'm not worried as I know each one of you would offer me one of yours.
What?

3.  I breathe fire.

Well....I can do the Fire Breath in yoga.  Sizzle.

4.  I can stand on my hands.

Yes, but I like having a wall behind me.

5.  I can program a computer but I have no idea how Hubby connected our entertainment system.

True.  I'm ashamed.

6.  I was invited to an art school one summer.

Yep. I was 10. But I wanted to go to the music school.  ;-(

7.  I think I may have been a pig in a former life.  I sure do like bacon.

FALSE.  I doubt I was a pig.  Maybe I was a lone wolf or a bird or even a lizard.  Actually, I think I'm still on "the island", running around and whispering to those that are left behind, not ready to "move on".

Now for another episode of "The World Turns But Stupid People Never Fall Off".

Yeah, I know that I've never had an episode of "The World Turns But Stupid People Never Fall Off" but work with me here.

Try this at home:  Stand a few feet in front of your vehicle with your back turned.  Have someone get in the vehicle and activate the horn.  Ideally, they don't give you any warning.

Wasn't that nice?

No?

Well, that's what it feels like when you use your horn to say "Howdy" to me as I'm cycling or running.  I'm not talking about "GET OUT OF THEY WAY" greetings or "Oh, Baby, You're Hot" greetings (in my dreams), but the you-think-you're-being-friendly greeting using your car's horn.  There is a reason that thing is LOUD, 'K?

Also, if you're a photographer for a yoga class, NEVER, EVER, EVER take this kind of photo much less post it on the Internet:

No, that's not my class. 

If you've been guilty of these offenses, kick yourself and then enjoy your plaque:

Finally, for those of you that could not find the critter in the photo from the last post, here's a close-up.  Look towards the bottom, in the rocks:

Now, get out there and finish the week with a smile!

Snicker.

Photo credits:  Butt-shot: That's classified.  Special: stolen from the depths of the Internet, Hidden creature:  Reffie

The Long Nose Meets the Sun

Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire!

What?

OUCH.  OUCH.

Ahhhhh.  Thanks, Evil Twin, for turning the hose on me.  This time it was the right thing to do.

So what is this about lies? 

Why is my nose growing?

Leeuna is on to me.  She gave me this award:

I will admit to the occasional little white lie, fib, or mild exaggeration, but BIG FAT LIES?

Never.

Well, almost never.

But maybe one of these is a WHOPPER:

1.  I played trombone.

2.  I am missing a body part. 

3.  I breathe fire.

4.  I can stand on my hands.

5.  I can program a computer but I have no idea how Hubby connected our entertainment system.

6.  I was invited to an art school one summer.

7.  I think I may have been a pig in a former life.  I sure do like bacon.

Which one do you think is an untruth?

Also, every time I visit Ziva's blog, I hope she has cookies for me but last time I visited, I got a load of sunshine instead:

Although not very edible, it IS bright and shiny and I like that.  Thank you, Ziva!

I was out in the yard over the weekend and was about to yell at Evil Twin for digging AGAIN (I think she is hiding alien artifacts) but then I looked a little closer..

 Click to see Ms. Tortoise Creature "hiding" in the shade of the canna.

 

Photo credit:  Reffie's got an eye for creatures...or maybe the creatures are government spies.  ;-)

Mile High Morning Roasted Over a Texas Heat Wave

The weather is warming up and sure enough, after seeing a forecast for rain and not getting any, I criticized Mother Nature.  The payback was a bitch. She had me for lunch.  That's right.  She sent me a monsoon at lunchtime on Friday.  My yard was a lake and the trees pooped all over the place.

These warmer temps and higher humidity have not helped my half-marathon training.  The race is in June.  I know.  Why in GOD/BUDDHA/OTHER's name did I sign up for a race in June in Texas?

Don't answer that.

Yesterday's long run at the park was brutal. Two tortoises passed me while they were humping each other.  I was starting to become frightened of the circling turkey vultures.  SHEESH!

 

Even though I've had a busy week, Evil Twin, Cat, and I found time to resume our paparazzi spying and now have some dirt on a fellow blogger.  

This blogger made the mistake about whining about not getting any blog bling.  MikeWJ, over at Too Many Mornings, will now be tenderized, seasoned, and roasted by the Geek clan.

Michael has told me he works for the National Park Service.  I can't imagine they let him work there with this hairstyle:

Yeah....when can you start?

His son plays hockey.  It appears that his son practices with Dad and Dad got the short end of the stick:

Three cheers for the red, white, and blue.

Finally, Michael lives in a mountainous state and loves to pursue some interesting hobbies:

 Um....nice...um...bone?

Yep.  That's the scoop.

Now that Michael has been cooked and served, he is welcome to enjoy some blog bling:

I hope he will display it proudly!

For previous geek roastings, please check the sidebar.

Be careful out there.  You never know when Evil Twin, Cat, and I will be sleuthing.

Photo credits: Piercings: Alex the greek, flickr.com, Cast: Patrick Powers, flickr.com, Ranger: Ralphleon, flickr.com; all courtesy of Creative Commons license (see sidebar), Spy Girl: owned by Reffie.

The Past, the Pleasant, and the Neighbor

First of all, I want to thank Laura from Thoughts of a Career Woman for giving me this Sisterhood award:

She's a sweetheart and the baby sister I never had.  Yeah, I know she looks nothing like me, but work with me here, 'K?

Over at Diane J's blog, Contentedly Neurotic, Diane was responding to a tag that had questions about the past, present, and future.  Evil Twin and I decided to steal the question about the past:

What were you doing five years ago?

Me:  I was working a corporate IT job and was assigned to a project to "re-invent" the company's website. 

Evil Twin:  Yeah, I remember you talking about your boss.  Remember the time she....

Me:  Shhhhh. 

Me:  Hubby and I were working at my mother-in-law's house cleaning and clearing up piles of clutter while she was in a rehab facility after back surgery.

Evil Twin:  Gotta match?

Me:  I was teaching yoga at our corporate fitness center.

Evil Twin:  I can do yoga.  Watch this:

Me:  Whoa!  WHAT happened to your head?  Did you open the door to the cellar?  Remember I told you never to do that!

Me:  Hubby celebrated ten years at his company.

Evil Twin:  I'm speechless.

Me:  Good.

Me:  Hubby and I booked a cruise to Alaska.  We took our moms.

Evil Twin:  Wait.  I don't remember this.

Me:  Yep.  That's right.  You weren't invited.  Hee Hee.

Me:  At the end of 2005, I had my distance vision corrected via LASIK!

Evil Twin:  Yeah.  You were afraid of letting me come with you.  I was wanting to see what they did with the discarded eyeballs.
Me:  Um.....

If you're still awake, let's move on to the latest rendition of "Good Neighbors".

Neighbor: I see you had someone work on your trees.  Why didn't they take that bent limb out of your pine tree?

What I wanted to say: What?  Does the bent arm bother you because you can see it from your yard?   Wait.  How about you get rid of your gigantic rodent-attracting brush pile and numerous compost piles that are visible to us from just about everywhere.

What she probably meant:  That limb is broken and will probably die.  You had other dead wood removed and two dead trees taken down so why not that limb?

What I said: Um,  it's not dead yet.  We will just "let it be".

Sigh.

The photo is our pine tree with the broken arm.  It's hard to tell but our property slopes down.  I'm standing considerably "uphill" from this tree.  Knowing this makes this next exchange make more sense.

Same neighbor:  We are going to do something about this washout area here at the back of our property.  Doesn't the water that washes out my flower bed come from your septic system?

What I wanted to say:  **rolling eyes**  No. We've had this conversation before.  There is an underground spring that starts up the hill from my property, runs down my property and spews water out towards your property after heavy rains.  Why did you build a ##$%#$ flowerbed where the the water rushes out?

What I said:  Um, no.  The lines would not go this far.  There is an underground spring that starts up the hill from my property, runs down my property and spews water out towards your property after heavy rains. Good Luck with whatever you decide to do.

At least this is a neighbor I like.

Sigh.

Photo credits: Headless yogini:  Seven morris on flickr.com, Creative Commons license (see sidebar), broken pine:  Reffie

The Hills and a Dale

Finally, I'm sitting down and writing a new post.  I know you guys have been anticipating this event all week...

Um, yeah.

This Friday finds me singing about hills.  Last week I told you about a hilly running course and some of you turned up your noses and accused Texas of NOT having hills.

Well, I'll show YOU.  There is a song about the Texas hills:

The stars at night are big and bright

Deep in the hills of Texas

The prairie sky is wide and high

Deep in the hills of Texas....

Uh, ReformingGeek?

Yes?

The lyrics are DEEP IN THE HEART not DEEP IN THE HILLs.  Here's the song, you silly geek:

Dale Evans and the Muppet Babies

OK.  That's a cute video but now I have to start all over on my post.

Seriously, folks, I'd like to introduce you to hilly Guadalupe Mountains National Park out in west Texas.  Yes, I said mountains.  Hubby and I visited this park as part of a trip to Carlsbad Caverns in New Mexico. It's about an hour's drive from Carlsbad.

We hiked on a trail through one of the canyons.  It was a hot day so anything to block the sun was welcome.  I thought I had found a photo of the hike but it was a photo from Zion National Park. 

Oops.

I can't leave you without some idea of the beauty of the Texas high desert:

El Capitan. See you at the top!

That's OK.  I didn't make it either.  

Let's just enjoy the view from here.

After the hike, we headed back to Carlsbad.  Evil Twin insisted on a side trip to Roswell to check on her alien friends.   I was concerned.  I wanted to get back before dark because I think she made plans for a moonlight serenade with her favorite Martian.

A few years after our visit, Hubby and I started reading Nevada Barr's mystery novels set in National Parks featuring always-finding-trouble Ranger Anna Pigeon.  Sure enough, Ms. Barr has a story that takes place in GUMO (Guadalupe Mountains National Park).  The book is Track of the Cat.  The "cat" is a mountain lion. Had I known about the mountain lions, I might not have gone on that hike! 

If you haven't read her series and you like mysteries, give them a try.   She will put you right there in the parks with her and you might not want to put it down until you find out what's happening.

Yes, there are hills....and big hearts in Texas.

Have a great weekend and Happy Mother's Day!