Tuesday, April 21, 2009

It's Not a Bucket but I May Get Wet!

"Happy Almost Earth Day!"

I started to do the "I Do NOT" meme but I kept wanting to do double negatives and I know that would drive everyone, including me, completely insane so I shoved that idea. Next, I thought about my bucket list. Well.....I don't really want to work that hard so I've decided to go with a just a few tidbits of things I'd like to do.

First up is more of a short-term goal. I've run a half-marathon (OK, 2 half-marathons) and I'm still undecided about a full marathon. I'm having some issues with injuries that will make training for this long of an event very miserable so I'm looking for other options for this here cardio junkie.

Next up is a triathlon. Good. Now I've said it so I need to commit to it. There is one problem: SWIMMING. I could swim like a fish when I was six but as an adult my crawl is anything but efficient and even though I'm in good shape, swimming laps kicks my rosy white ass.

I have access to a pool so I'll guess I will be putting on this hokey headgear and figuring out how to get from one end to the other:

Uh, ReformingGeek?


Your goggles aren't black.

Yeah, well, so they're pink, OK?

And you don't have those shoulders, Yoga-Girl.

Well, OK. Fine. Just rub it in.

That reminds me. I need a massage.

Another small issue with triathlons is this outfit. Swim, bike, and run without changing clothes? OK. But a visit to the cute potty box? Not OK.

I'm thin but with no boobs. I'm curious as to how much padding will be needed here. I guess kleenex will be really icky when its wet, huh?

Yeah. I know. I'm crazy.

I like purple though!

Now it's on to the bucket list. Where's that bucket? I just saw it.

Oh, there it is. Oops. It looks like the cat......oh never mind.
  • I want to visit all the National Parks and avoid dining with a bear. Afterall, I realize that I would be on the menu. Speaking of bears, if you encounter a black bear, which are sometimes brown, don't run away and don't climb a tree (They will come up the tree after you.) Fight back if attacked. If you encounter a grizzly bear, you'll know it. Don't run. Don't fight back and play dead. Oh, wait. I just heard not to play dead. It just makes it easier for them to eat you. So, in the end, if you end up in a confrontation with a grizzly, you're screwed. Nice knowin' you.
  • I want to go to Australia and New Zealand. I want to see the Great Barrier Reef. Yes, I've heard about the poisonous jelly fish and the other lethal sea creatures and critters in the Land Down Under!
  • I want to climb a mountain; at least a fourteener. Or better yet, maybe Hubby will carry me!
  • I want to hike to the bottom of the Grand Canyon and up the other side. Hubby just said I would be carrying him on this one.
  • I want to learn to cross-country ski.
  • I want to visit Russia. Hubby may banish me to Siberia.
That's enough. I like to keep my bucket list open ended.

Photo credits: Swimmer: istockphoto.com, Zootsuit: Some triathlon clothing retailer, Pink rose: ReformingGeek


Deb said...

I have the perfect solution for you regarding the swimming portion of a triathlon. You know those packing pillows filled with air that cushion the contents of thins being shipped, like from Amazon.com? Get two of those. Yes, just two or you will look like circus material. Use Gorilla Tape to secure them over your non-existent boobs under your snazzy spandex suit. Not only will you turn heads with your new rectangular endowments, but you will be able to do the backstroke with no problem. Thank me after you win.

Marissa said...

Husbands make the best sherpas and pack-mules. Keep that in mind for Everest and the Grand Canyon. And when you're at the mall with too many bags to carry.

Unknown said...

I am now exhausted from reading your bucket list. Go for the full on marathon! I KNOW you can do it. I have faith in you

ReformingGeek said...

@Deb - That's a great idea and it just might work. I'll work on the shape, maybe octagonal would be better. ;-)

@Marissa - Yep. Grunt work like hanging drywall and such. Shopping bags? Occasionally.

@dizzblnd - Thank you!

Kirsten said...

As far as I'm concerned, you've run two half marathons, that means you have run a whole marathon!
As far as the goggles and swim cap, just know that if I run into you and you say hello, I will pretend I don't know you! Be warned. :)

Shawn said...

I want to watch a lot of movies and rest a lot and not ever do any of the things in your Bucket List. Well, I wouldn't mind visiting one National Park. But that's enough.

Nooter said...

a bucket list.. ? you mean like this:
a plastic bucket
a metal bucket
an orange bucket

howd i do?

ReformingGeek said...

@Kirsten - Ah, you'd be embarrassed by me?

@Shawn - Come on, reach for it Shawn!

@Nooter - Yes. Any bucket will do.

Anonymous said...

Um Reffie? I have a couple of extra breast prosthesis you can borrow!


Machinist said...

Thank you for stopping by, Ma'am.

Unknown said...

Damn, you go girl !!

ReformingGeek said...

@Quirky - I may need those!

@Machinist - You're welcome.

@dani - I think I need to start listening to Yoda again. "Do or do not. There is no try."

Jean Knee said...

your list involves way too much movement.

you don't want to join my sloth movement to end global warming?

Marissa said...

Sloth movement! I'm in! It reduces our footprint.

Jen's Farmily said...

You crack me up!

Do you think it'd be illegal to use a small boat in the swimming portion? I mean as long as you don't hit other swimmers?

ReformingGeek said...

@Jean - Not if it involves Al.

@Marissa - Ha!

@J&J - Thanks. I like the boat idea!

Bee said...

BWAHAHAHAHAAAA! @ Nooter's comment!

My sister and I once wanted to do a "walk for ___" but it was super expensive.

Short term for this summer, I want to go to a few places in the area and will make my husband take me if it means I need to get myself a new husband! ;o)

Suzanne said...

I just thought of a new bucket list item while away for the weekend.
I want to sit in a cyber cafe drinking mocha and blogging on my laptop, I want to look that cool.

ReformingGeek said...

@Bee - Good luck with that!

@Sue - You are cool but you're about to be hot (roasted)!

Elizabeth said...

Wow, a half marathon! How long have you been training? I'm very impressed. I don't think I could run a mile if my life depended on it! Well, unless I met a bear. Last time we saw one I it was just a little too close for my comfort so ran back to my car and locked the doors! My poor husband had to knock on the window for me to let him in. I'm a bad wife!

Chris said...

Geeky, you've got some nice list items there. Can I just say - the great barrier reef is amazing. You should definitely go ... in fact, you've made me want to go back.

I know I'm Australian and biased but it is breath taking. :)

ReformingGeek said...

@Elizabeth - It was great and I really like that distance. I've been running consistently since 2006 after taking about 15 years off. Poor wittle bear.

@Chris - Absolutely and Hubby wants to dive there.

"1.00s, 1.50s, 1.75s for the short arms. If you know what I'm talking about, you're probably old, too."

"Boomer brain fog: What was the last, middle, and first part of what you just said to me?"