Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Can I Have Your Keys Next Time?

Last week I did a post on student drivers. Now it's time to look at my own driving. Yes, it's confession time here at the ReformingGeek household.


It's always confession time here. QUIT STALLING AND FESS UP, GEEK LADY!

Wow. Sounds like one of my personalities is getting a bit rough there, huh?

OK. I hope you're ready.

1. I caused a car accident. I know. It's unbelievable that sweet little innocent me would do something like this. He's the story:
I was a teenager and I was driving with three other silly girls as passengers. We had one of those little hand-held flip signs that had corny phrases such as "You're cute!" or "Honk if you can read this!" or other such nonsense. Basically, you flipped to the sign you wanted to post and and held it up to the window. Yeah. Things were exciting back then.

My friends spotted a car full of....you guessed it, BOYS! They were cute of course and they were already glancing our way. So my friend finds the "You're cute" sign and flashes it. The guys held their glance a bit too long and rear-ended the car in front of them. Oops!

I floored it and was gone in a flash. I always wondered what they told the cops.

2. I will occasionally turn the wrong way on a one-way street. DERN IT!

3. I have locked my keys in the car. It was a LONG time ago!

4. I opened a passenger door and a moving car hit it. It was a LONG time ago!

Watch out, Others. ReformingGeek's driving.

That looks like Hurley ReformingGeek.

Um....yeah....well....weird things happen to him, too. I'll get back to the list now.

5. I don't normally run red lights but a cop thought I did one time. He was wrong of course.

6. I don't normally speed much more than 10 miles over the limit but again, some silly cop thought I was going 45 in a 30. Unfortunately, he was right. I was trying to slow down. Really, I was. After being incredibly rude to me, he let me go. Dude. I'm old enough to be your mama or at least your auntie. BE NICE or at least BE POLITE! I really wanted to kick his.....er....you get the picture.

7. I once scraped another car's door while parking and didn't leave a note. It was just a wee bit of a scratch; hardly noticeable.

8. I scratched my side mirror on a post in a parking garage.

9. I was stopped at a red light and a motorcycle rear-ended me. Poor guy. I think he had just picked up his bike from the repair shop. He buzzed away uninjured but with a dented fender.

Here's a few things I'm proud of:

10. I don't flip anybody off (or at least where they can see it). Afterall, I live in Texas and I know some of these folks are packing heat.

11. I don't scream obscenities out my window (just a little Gosh Dern It under my breath).

12. If you see my windows fogged up, it's not because there is funny business going on in my car. It's just me, breathing deeply trying to stay calm.

And appropriate for #13:

13. When I was in college, I ran over a squirrel and cried all the way home. ;-(

Anybody want to go to lunch? I'll drive.

Photo credits: Confessional: Mars Hill Church Seattle from flickr.com Creative Commons, Dharma van, Lostpedia.com


Unknown said...

lol...I will go to lunch with ya and yes you can drive

Ed said...

The VW bus still has about 200,000 miles before it implodes into rust flakes....

Marissa said...

LOL. I think what you're really telling us is that ALL this happened just last week. :D

If you're gonna confess - then CONFESS!

quirkyloon said...

Wow. Well there goes that idea that we could go on a road trip together!

Ferget it! heh heh

ReformingGeek said...

@Georgie - Great. I'll meet you at the Red River.

@VE - Yeah. Those things are almost indestructible.

@Marissa - Ha!

@quirky - I'll meet you have way!

Unknown said...

If it makes you feel better, I hit the same car twice within 3 hours...go figure..?

Bee (the one who muses) said...

Yay for running over the squirrel! Those suckers are already at my pots and I haven’t even planted anything yet! Bastards.

ReformingGeek said...

@dani - You win!

@Bee - Ahh...

Jen's Farmily said...

I recently hit a squirrel. I had actually swirved to the right to avoid hitting an already-dead squirrel and a live one ran right into my car. I called Mr. C right afterwards. I felt HORRIBLE!!

And seriously? You have mucho crazy driving experiences.

Deb said...

I hit a cat when I was 18. Damn thing didn't die. I hate cats, yet I felt horrible. I picked him up and wrapped him in a blanket. There was no ID on the thing but there was a collar, so I knocked on the doors of all the nearby houses holding the mangled cat asking if anyone knew it. Imagine opening the door to some 18-year-old in a waitress uniform holding a mangled cat? No one could help. I drove the cat to the vet. The owners were found but I don't believe the vet saved it. I spoke with the owners and they said the cat had been hit before. Idiots. Here I am missing work, worrying about a cat, and the freakin' owners acted like it was a daily occurrence. Squirrels are suicidal - you didn't hit it, it hit you.

ReformingGeek said...

@JandJ - Yeah. It's something about taking a life. It's sad.

@Deb - Cats must also be suicidal. It was nice of you to care, though!

Tracy Rambles On And On said...

You just had to go and leave it at number 13 didn't you?
Hey, listen, I'm not one to pee in anyone's cheerios or anything but I thought that your blog was titled "Confessions of a REFORMING Geek".
See, I'm confused because you don't cuss, you don't flip people off, you can't even type the words "I wanted to kick that cops ass", and you use terms like "Gosh Dern".
How long have you been "Reforming" exactly, dear?

Oh, and I don't flip people off..well not anymore. I used to flip everyone and their brothers off, whether they did something to deserve it or not they got the bird, or as we like to call it here in WV, the "Welcome to WV" sign.
But then my gosh dern offspring had to start doing it and it reflected badly upon me since I was with her.
Gosh Dern Offspring.

Unknown said...

Are you sure you aren't a Florida driver? That stuff all sounds normal to me ;)

quirkyloon said...

Reffie! Yoo-hoo! I hope you read this comment Sweetums.

You got memed!

You know you're my fave blogger to tag!

So, now? You're IT!


We're still friends aren't we?

ReformingGeek said...

@Tracy - I probably won't ever truly reform and sometimes my Baptist upbringing kicks in and I notice myself saying fewer words. But then again...you just never know. I like to keep you guessing.

Your kids sound hilarious!

@dizzblnd - Yeah. I've been to Florida. It was crazy!

@Quirky - Oh noz! You will ALWAYS be my friend, Girl.

Nooter said...

squirrel pancakes! hee hee hee!
oh can i get some syrup for that? haha ha ha hahaha!

Jean Knee said...

uh, I'll get back to ya on that one

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"1.00s, 1.50s, 1.75s for the short arms. If you know what I'm talking about, you're probably old, too."

"Boomer brain fog: What was the last, middle, and first part of what you just said to me?"