Saturday, May 9, 2009

I am Fish

Remember the triathlon goal? Well, becoming one with fish is definitely a humbling experience for me. Yes, I can swim but I tend to sink so I feel like I have to work very hard to propel my body through the water. Then I learned that you're supposed to breathe while swimming. Um......huh? Can I have some gills installed and maybe a tail while they're at it?


I'm convinced it wasn't a pool. I was moving my body through this:

I must have made a wrong turn somewhere. Oops.

I don't have a pool but I have access to a very nice pool at a local health club. On my last trip to the club, I was finishing my lap swimming attempts when the Water Aerobics class was gathering and setting up their equipment and props.

So you think I'm a geek? Well, yeah, but some of these folks.... Yes, LOL's (Little old Ladies) with blue hair are funny but I'm happy that they are out there moving around. But the older men with man boobs almost made me laugh out loud. I went to the Internet to find a picture but this picture got my attention instead:

MAN BOOB MAN? Boob signing? I'm confused. Whose boobs are being signed?

But let's get back to the swimmers (Um, you DO know what I'm talking about, don't you?) I've definitely seen men with larger boobs than mine and that just makes me so very sad....and a little giggly.

Now would I seriously laugh at these class participants? No, of course not, considering I'm wearing a crooked swim cap and goggles (Ha! I typed googles).

No, I'm not laughing.

My evil twin? Absolutely!

It's funny to see some of the women attempt to get into the water. Like I said, this is a nice pool. The water temperature is PERFECT and I'm very picky about the temperature. I've taught my share of Water Aerobics classes where I was expected to be in the pool with the students. We've had some seriously cold, willy-shrinking, nipple-spazzing, glacier melt water, with the students whining through the whole class and I'm trying to teach while shivering.

OK, maybe not THAT cold but cold. Anyhowsit, some of the ladies act like they are about to get into an ice bath. I bet they are the same ones complaining about how hot they are five minutes into class.

I'm never surprised that people make such good blog fodder!

Hopefully, practice will help my swimming skills as I don't think the transformation into ReformingGeekFish with gills is an option.

Photo credits: manboob sign: San Diego Shooter on, Creative Commons (see sidebar), ReformingGeekFish:, ocean wave:


Anonymous said...

Mad witty and fun post, RF. :) Loved it.

Ehm, can you let me know when the next boob signing is and where? At my age I dare not miss out on those kinds of opportunities.

Anonymous said...

Hey I love the polka dot bikini top! You're lookin' good GF!

heh heh

And the tail doesn't look so bad either!

BTW, I cannot get enough of the meerkat kitty pic...I just LMBO everytime I see it or think about it!

Shawn said...

Yeah, I'm not good at the whole breathing-while-swimming thing, either. Not that I'm anywhere in the slightest realm of considering a race.

Chris said...

I'm actually still confused about the boob thing. I just can't seem to come up with a logical explanation for that sign. :(

Nooter said...

um, I Am Bull

ReformingGeek said...

@Marvin - Thank you. I'm a little scared that the men may be getting their boobs signed.

@Quirky - Thanks. I fell in love with that illustration and could not resist it even if it costs me some mullah. ;-(

I'm glad you like the meerkat!

@Shawn - I'm beginning to wonder if I can finish a "race".

@Chris - Yep. Too weird.

@Nooter - Yeah, you go get'm, Nooter.

Unknown said...

Funny.. when I try to breath underwater.. I drown. Maybe you are supposed to slit each side of your throat?

Marissa said...

Love the GeekFish! Maybe Kevin Costner can teach you some things he learned in Waterworld. You'd like that, wouldn't you?

ReformingGeek said...

@Dizzblnd - Yeah. That sounds about right.

@Marissa - Thanks! GeekFish is fun! Between her and Evil Twin, I'm all set.

Also, Kevin would be OK. I'd even take Bruce Willis but if Kiefer is out of jail, I'll let him teach me to swim.

Queen-Size funny bone said...

To this day I cannot swim so I'm going to need more than a tail and gills

Suzanne said...

Now we've discussed our super powers thing, you're just going to have to grow some gills, stop focusing on time travel and get swimming.

ReformingGeek said...

@Queen - We'll make sure you get the life vest!

@Sue - OK. Maybe next week. Isn't procrastination a super power?

Meg said...

Wow! I didn't realize Unfinished Dude had taken his act on the road.

Jean Knee said...

Man Boob/

I thought he retired a couple years ago. who knew?

ReformingGeek said...

@Prefers - Um.....guess so. Too bad I wasn't there to check it out!

@Jean - must be familiar with this

Elizabeth said...

See, you sink in the water because you have more muscles than fat. I do not have that problem.

"1.00s, 1.50s, 1.75s for the short arms. If you know what I'm talking about, you're probably old, too."

"Boomer brain fog: What was the last, middle, and first part of what you just said to me?"