I walked into the bedroom closet this morning (yes, I can actually see the floor and walk in) and discovered that Hubby has more shoes than me.
GASP!
Yes, this is a terrible tragedy.
I must have missed the shoe orgy, hot shoes all over each other, copulating like rabbits on Viagra. Several pairs of "work-out" shoes, numerous "office" shoes, shoes for messy jobs, and various casual shoes were obviously not practicing safe sex.
I noticed a predominant color amongst our collections.
Dark-brown.
Light-brown.
Reddish-brown.
Blackish-brown.
Tan-brown.
Brown-brown.
Ick.
Something must be done quickly to remedy this entire situation.
The first idea that came to mind was to sweetly ask Hubby to trim his collection but then I thought again. There is open space on the floor. I CAN BUY MORE SHOES!
Yes, that's it. This will surely solve the problem.
Does it matter that I don't need them?
I think not.
Doesn't every runner need at least four pairs of running shoes and at least two pairs for other sports like tennis, racquetball, cat juggling, or....er....fencing?
Definitely.
Surely I need some sexy shoes for those fancy events that I rarely attend.
Is it a problem that many of my shoes are brown and are supposed to be cushy instead of sexy?
Reffie's favorite pair of winter shoes,cushy-comfy and oh, so very sexy....
YES. This is beyond horrible. Not only is this color boring but I'm showing my age, resorting to comfort over fashion. Has the brain fog clouded my middle-age brain hindering its ability for footwear frivolity?
Apparently.
I have a small, narrow foot that fits no shoe. Shoes that feel wonderful in the store morph into a different animal upon their debut in the real world. I would love to have boots but I'm numb from trying them on, forever hopeful that something will fit. I'm betraying my native Texan status since I don't own a pair of cowboy boots.
Sigh.
I can see that this has come down to a fine whine. My humblest shoepologies. Please help me clear the brain fog by sending me your pretty, colorful shoes, size 6, narrow, or you can just leave me money in the comment box.
Thank you.
Photo credits: Geeky shoes: ReformingGeek, boots:Fran53 on flickr.com, Creative Commons license (see sidebar).
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39 comments:
I love those cowboy boots there. Turquoise and red, one of my favorite color schemes. Anyway, I have a thing for sneakers. My closet seems to be the breeding ground for all things "sneak".
mmmm... shoes...
Size 6 narrow? Surely you jest! Imagine having a shoe size twice that. Yes, as disturbing as it is to think about, the CatLady wears a size 12 shoe... and trust me... there's nothing remotely sexy about ANY shoe in a size twelve.... even if you can find them. *sigh* Hence the collection of man-sized Birkenstocks, sneakers, flip flops and hiking boots strewn across the floors of my home. We won't even mention cowboy boots... the horror!
@Me-me - I've got a lot of sneakers!
@Nooter - Here's a flip-flop. Enjoy.
@CatLady - Uh oh. I guess you won't be sending me any shoes. ;-(
I bought these black chunker shoes and started wearing them to church.
Yes, I'm a fashionista that way.
And then I see all these young girls with their 119-inch heels with frills, lace, rubber, and leather and I think to myself...
I'll keep my chunkers!
Ha!
I had the same surprise when I was packing our clothes. I realized that Joe was going to have to DRIVE his shoes home in a separate vehicle!
@Quirky - Good for you! I want it all: sexy, cushy, and fashionable!
@Dana - I remember the days when guys had one or two pairs of shoes.
You know, if you just got rid of all of your vibrators then there would be plenty of room for everyone's shoes! haha!
I feel your pain. I wear a 7-1/2 AA. Shoes morph into evil creatures on my feet, too, once I leave the store.
I think once you've passed a certain age comfortable is sexy.
Thanks for stopping by Think Spin yesterday and commenting. As soon as I put a period at the end of this line, I will add myself to your list of followers. Love your humor!
Those winter shoes you posted a photo of would be considered formal/dressy and so very sexy here in Maine.
God help me.
@otin - I may have to get rid of them anyway. I'm going thru batteries too fast. ;-)
@Lauren - Thanks! Shoes are definitely evil!
@Deb - I may be moving to Maine soon. ;-)
I'm not one for having alot of shoes for several reasons.One of them is I don't have enough room for them.But I do need a pair of boots.Iwere an 8 or 9 depending on the shoe.Try looking for a decent pair in a size 13.The only thing I have found in thatbig size is Rebocks,Adidis,or Nike.
If you hear from etterose,tell her I said Hi:)
Sorry, out of size 6 narrows. Here's six e-euros, hope that helps!
The Old Silly
@Donna - Um, 13? You win.
I have not heard anything from Ettarose. ;-(
@Marv - Yeah. I'll take euros narrow, medium, or wide. Thanks.
I have three pairs of shoes -- two pairs of tennis shoes and one pair I wear to job interviews. Shoes bore me, what can I say?
What you REALLY need are rechargeable batteries.
I think Ralf has more than me too. What's up with that??
@MikeWJ - That's good. You will have plenty of empty space in your closet.
@omchelsea - LOL
@honeypie - My thoughts exactly.
oh how I feel your pain. I have a smallish extra wide foot- rather like Fred Flinstone's.
I can not find shoes to fit so I wear boys or small men shoes. and my taste sucks
i take comfort over class any day...once i find a pair i enjoy, i wear them until the soles fall off.
@Jean - I feel so much better knowing you have Fred Flinstone feet. ;-)
@Brian - Yep. Those winter shoes in the photo have been with me for umpteen years.
You have such dainty feet! Size 6, narrow.
I'm pretty sure I could beat you up if I wanted. Just saying. : )
Yea, My boyfriend,MJ wears the 13.HA! I told him, if he were to get rid of those eagle talons,(his toe nails) he just might be able to fit in a smaller size. LMAO!!!
@Kirsten - I have large shoulder muscles. Just saying. ;-)
@Donna - Yeah. My hubby lets his talons get too long, too.
You piqued my curiosity. I counted my shoes and I have 27 pairs.
How the hell did I end up with 27 pairs of shoes?
Anyway I like your sensible brown jobs. So don't throw them away yet
My husband has more shoes AND more clothes than me. On top of that he has the nerve to come and tell me that I need to get rid of stuff because he's having trouble fitting clothes into the closet. Bless his heart, he lives in his own little world.
@Uber - 27!!!! Holy $@#$%@$%!!
Don't worry. I love those brown shoes. They are staying around.
@Wendy - That's funny and men (and cats) do have there own little world!
27? That's it? I can't even count how many pairs of shoes I have. I usually stick to the comfy ones, too. But I like to match my shoes to my outfits. I am a shoe freak! Not quite Imelda Marcos, but well on my way. I usually wear about an 8 so it's a pretty average size. Only problem is the store usually runs out of the ones I want by the time I get money to buy the ones I want. No size 6's here so I send these to you-$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
I know it doesn't really help but I tried...(((HUGS)))
Shooooooes! I love shoes! I can pick out a nice pair for you and you're husband will not be able to take his eyes off your legs! ;o)
@Collette - Thank you for the $$$$$$. Shoes are fun, aren't they?
@Bee - I bet you can. Please do so soon. I'm desperate.
Oh boots are great!
I think if your husband has more shoes than you then that is a definite excuse for buying as many more pairs as you can carry.
Kate xx
Can't help you. I covet your brown winter jobbies. I just splurged and bought myself a pair of brown Clark Wallabees, which are the antimatter to anything spiked and seductive that ever appeared on Sex and the City. I can't wear heels at all, in fact my 4 year old can walk faster in a pair of plastic princess dress-up heels than I can in anything other than sneakers or my beloved Birks. And she's been getting PT for two years. Sigh. My feet? They have a good personality.
@Kate - I think I'll go shopping.
@Kablooey - I will be great friends with your feet.
I agree with the last commenter: The hell?
Anyhoo...about shoes: I have a ton of shoes too. Most of them are sitting by our front door for some reason, unused. I think I wear like one, maybe two pairs. One pair of sneakers, white, not brown and a pair of black dress shoes. That's about it. So why do I have all the other shoes? I don't know. Time to do some pre-spring cleaning. Thanks for the motivation. :)
I have 6 WIDE. Will that help?
@Unfinished - Now that sounds like a man. Good Luck with the cleaning!
@AmyLK - I wish but thanks for asking!
Bahahahahhahahaha. Shame on your husband. LOL. Just kidding. Ah, I'm just giving him sh*t. You need to get some more shoes, girl. Seriously, I have four pairs (two dress, one casual and one running). My wife has about 35.
OMG!! I own those exact cowboy boots. They were given to me by a friend who's 80 year old mother found them, brand new, tags still on, in the alley in back of her house in Beverly Hills. True story. I swear!
Here visiting from CatLady's place. I'll be back!
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