Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Go Fish

We are gathered here today to pay our respects to Fish. That's right. Fish has departed this world for the great fish tank (or sturdy shelf) in the sky. Please pause for a moment of silence.

**Pausing**

**Snoring**

ALRIGHT! Enough pausing. You guys were waking the DEAD with that snoring.

Early Sunday morning, way before we could think about seeing dawn's butt crack, I heard a loud noise. The windows rattled and the house shook. Hubby didn't even wake up but I quickly remedied that situation as I jostled him alert, smiled sweetly, batted my eyelashes rubbed my eyes, and made him get up to look around.

He found nothing and was back asleep in no time. Me? I was wide-eyed for awhile, remembering the "boom" sounds the morning that the space shuttle exploded upon re-entry a few years back. It's crazy the thoughts that come to the mind in the middle of the night.

Anywhatsit, I finally got back to sleep and I remember dreaming in bold colors but it wasn't about puppies and rainbows. I checked the news the next morning to see if anything exploded overnight but there was nothing. I was pleased, of course, but remained curious as to what the heck caused the disturbance the night before.

Yesterday evening, I walked into the room Cat likes to call his own. On the floor, in several pieces, was Fish.


Its former home was on top of a desk. As you can see, Fish is/was big and we all know the bigger they are, they harder they fall. Poor Fish. He's not even worth his weight in sushi as this point.

What happened to cause Fish to jump?

Starvation? Isolation? A slight mishap with the meds?

Was it Cat with the midnight munchies?

Was it Mrs. White with the lead pipe?

Or maybe it was the vibrations of the black not-so-silent helicopters hovering outside of the window hoping to break-up Cat's secret meeting?



I'm totally at a loss (pun intended) here. You tell me.

May Fish rest in peace.


Thank you for attending today's service. Please leave money in the jar at the back. It's for my fish replacement fund the family.


Ahem.


Photo credits: Fish in pieces: ReformingGeek, Poker cats, Google

34 comments:

Quirkyloon said...

Cat did it.

No question in my mind.

Cat did it.

Perhaps he might like to go on that show Paw & Order?

Yeah, I'd like to see Detective Stabler go at him for awhile. Then let's bring in Detective Goren. No way no how the cat will get away with ANYTHING.


Cat did it.

I rest my case.

♥Georgie♥ said...

yep cat did it for sure lol...munchies!!! I would say cut back on the cat nip
;-)

mama-face said...

No doubt Cat is the culprit. The fact that you heard a suspicious noise and went back to sleep is kinda worrisome. :) And funny.

Did that fish land that way? If he's a Mexican fish I will pick you up a replacement next month!! Not that I'm saying he doesn't look Texan...

Me-Me King said...

Oh, what a shame. That was one cool Fish.

Kill the cat, kill the cat!!!

Quirkyloon said...

Oh so sorry... Fish? RIP.

ReformingGeek said...

@Quirky - You are so hard on Cat. If he didn't do it, I wonder how high he jumped when that thing fell off the desk.

@Georgie - Yep. No more catnip.

@Me-me - Yeah, Fish was awesome. Very colorful but extremely cumbersome to manage.

@mama-face - It probably was made in Mexico but it's the humuhumunukunukuapua'a fish found in Hawaii.

Nooter said...

gimme five minutes with cat, i will get the truth for you

Jean Knee said...

I'll send ya some super glue but really, really that thing shouldn't have to be replaced.

ReformingGeek said...

@Nooter - Cat has claws. Are you prepared?

@Jean - Oh but it's a very special fish!

Deb said...

What, are you in denial? You know Evil Cat did it. It has his signature all over it. Pieces of fish on the floor? It was Cat. End of story.

Brian Miller said...

and then the cat realised that it was not edible...

gayle said...

Yes it was the cat!!

ReformingGeek said...

@Deb - Sigh. Now I must devise a special punishment for Cat.

@Brian - Oops.

ReformingGeek said...

@Gayle - Poor cat is not getting much support here!

Funnyrunner said...

I think it's nothing a little superglue won't fix. have at it. I'll wait for his reincarnation....

otin said...

Maybe Dick Cheney was hunting nearby? lol

ReformingGeek said...

@Funnyrunner - It just wouldn't be the same.

@otin - ;-) Now that's a possibility, isn't it?

brookeamanda said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you during this difficult time :)

Leeuna said...

It was the butler, in the parlor, with a candle stick. bwahahah at Quirky's Paw & Order!

poor fish. poor poor fish. my condolences.

honeypiehorse said...

Dawn's butt crack????????

ReformingGeek said...

@brookeamanda - Thank you. It's a tough time for us here in the geek household.

@Leeuna - Thanks. The mood is very somber here. I forgot about the candlestick. I have some of those. That dang butler is nothing but trouble.

@honeypiehorse - Yeah. I'm not sure anyone really wants to see it, though. ;-)

On to your Tricks Marv said...

"There's something fishy about this family fund raiser thingy Reffie's promoting," said The Old Silly as he walked out the back door and dropped a quarter in the bowl, "something very fishy ..."

Kate said...

I have to agree cat did it.

Kate xx

ReformingGeek said...

@Marvin - Shhhh. ;-)

@Kate - Poor Cat has no friends.

Random Chick said...

Poor dearly departed fish. I hope he/she lived a good life because he/she will have to pay for it in that big fish bowl in the sky/underground.

I'll have to pay you later because I spent all my money on Starbucks...errr...ummm...groceries.

Marissa said...

Heheheh. Great fish story. You are HILARIOUS. "dawn's butt crack" lol.

ReformingGeek said...

@Random Chick - Thanks. Fish looked pretty but he was a stubborn old fool. You can pay me next week. ;-)

@Marissa - Thank you! I'm glad you came to pay your respects.

CatLadyLarew said...

Yet another reason not to have any cats.

Mary@Holy Mackerel said...

Of course Cat did it. Who else? Certainly not Dog, or even Bunny...

Here, we always blame the guinea pigs. They're vicious.

ReformingGeek said...

@CatLady - Yes, well, um....

@Mary - Maybe a stray dog came in one evening. I didn't think of that. Blaming the guineas sounds good.

Sorcerer said...

The Butler Cat did it!!

Collette said...

I came to pay my respect to Fish. Long may he swim (?) in our hearts.
I do believe it may have been Colonel Mustard in the library with the candlestick.

ReformingGeek said...

@Sorcerer - When you find Butler Cat, let me know. I have real butler work for him.

@Collette - Thanks for signing the guest book. Dang! Colonel Mustard is a sneaky bastard.

MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings said...

Was it Mrs. White with the lead pipe?


Nice reference, Reforming Geek! Love it.....

Oh, and sorry about Fish. I'm sure he'll be missed.


"1.00s, 1.50s, 1.75s for the short arms. If you know what I'm talking about, you're probably old, too."

"Boomer brain fog: What was the last, middle, and first part of what you just said to me?"