Questions, already?
OK. OK. OK. Let me explain a few things before I continue.
No, you won't speak a new language in two hours.
No, you don't have to join my religious group where we eat Tex-Mex food and fart by the campfire every Saturday evening.
No, you won't lose 120 pounds in four months.
No, your penis will large grow to inches 12 not.
No, your breast size will not increase by four cup sizes after applying our product.
Whoa. Wait a minute.....
DANG!
I digress. I'm trying to tell you that my opportunity is amazing. It has the potential for real change in our country.
I have solved our energy crises. We won't need Ahab's oil or the oil from the Alaskan Preserve. We won't need nuclear power. I'm so happy about this part. I'm tired of hearing folks butcher the pronunciation by calling it "nu-cu-ler".
I have invented the ultimate device. Energy creation will be immediate, clean, and renewable.
Without further adieu, here it is:
The PURR-EXTRACTOR 2010!
Just put a kitty in the collection chamber, close the lid, and press the button. Purr energy will be siphoned and sent immediately to your home's electrical system. When the lights dim, insert a new cat. When you're out of cats, grab your neighbor's cat or contact your local animal shelter.
But wait. There's more. Options for cat collection and a breeding farm start as low as $19.99.
I shall be rich.
Fine print:
- Silly blond woman misusing the device not included.
- Cats not included.
I wonder why Cat has been avoiding me lately.
Super-fine print:
-I think Evil Twin must have come up with this scheme. I would never hurt a kitty.
Posts
37 comments:
Whoa!I thought to meself...is this the Refster or Da Evile-Refster?
You wrote an anti-cat post?
What is this world coming to?
hee hee
The Saturday nite Tex-Mex fart sessions could probably produce a lot of energy, if we could only harness farts. There you go. A fall back plan.
I don't know about cats but I have several neighborhood dogs I'd like to donate
Sounds awesome! I really not a cat person; so, I'll gladly do my part to help with this important environmental issue.
Here kitty, kitty, kitty.
Wow, that is a new idea. Now, if it was a fat extractor people would line up for miles and we'd never run out of energy!
Wow. Cat energy. Reffie you're gonna be rich! There's enough cats in our neighborhood to power the whole state for a year.
I;m covering my cat's eyes as I type (no small trick). I have to say, the price is right, but there's no "wait, there's more!"
There's got to be a "W,TM!", doesn't there? Ginsu? Free steak knives. Sham-wow? More Sham-wows. See? Just trying to be helpful.
@Quirky - I think Reffie forgot her meds.
@Gregory - **farting** Nice idea!
@Jean - I will work on the conversion.
@Me-me - Your expenses should be low.
@honeypie - Let's work on that together.
@Leeuna - See. Like I said. Cheap source of energy.
@kablooey - I'll make you a special deal.
Wha?! Did you get a new dog? I'm pretty sure an evil dog wrote this post. :)
Cute! but I am still going to go and hide mt kitties in case you need to do some more R&D on the unit.
@Marissa - Evil Twin does seem to like dogs. Hum.....where is Nooter?
@AmyLK - Good idea. Just in case.
Now that IS a good deal! I just upgraded my cell phone for $19.99 and got internet, navigator, keyboard and all kindsa smart stuff - figured it was the best deal goin down ... but THIS. Purrrfect!
The Old Silly
Nice...
How often do I have to change the hairball filters?
@Marvin - Thank you. When can I expect your check?
@VE - Shhhhh.
If the 12 inch penis thing would work, I think that we could generate some purr energy! LMAO!!!!
a few questions, please:
1. does it have a double locking lid?
2. is there room inside for more than one cat at a time?
3. does it have casters or wheels to facilitate rolling it out to the curb, oh, say on monday mornings for example?
4. the human wants to know if the woman in yellow is available for in-home demonstrations?
Happy New Year, Reforming Geek. I am sincerely sorry for being MIA. But I'm back with a vengeance, baby.
I'm attempting to catch-up on some of your back posts as we speak.
@otin - I'm sure it wood....er...would.
@Nooter - I'm working on a version for puppies. No wait. That's Evil Twin, not me.
@Constant - It's good to have you back!
Whoa! That's awesome. I have some cats I'd like to donate to your cause.
Fine print: I would never hurt a cat either but sometimes my two cats really annoy me.
Damn! I only have one cat, although she's a heifer. Maybe she'll be good for several loads of wash and a dishwasher cycle. Sign me up! Here Kitty, Kitty.
ha ha! that last comment was dump!
The purr-fect use for cats! I love it! Sign me up for one!
@Random - Yeah. Cats were invented to drive us nuts.
@Lauren - Maybe you could find some strays.
@Nooter - And it has been dumped.
@CatLady - Just send me your money and your all signed up!
HAS ANYBODY SEEN MY CAT!!!!!!!
TINKERS! OH TINKERS!!!
Great idea!! Only problem might be a terrible allergy to cats...Has this issue been addressed?
@Donna - I found Tinkers. The device rejected him.
@Mary - I'm working on a version to siphon squirrel energy.
Does it do pigeons? I hate pigeons
hee hee! NO wonder the cat is avoiding you!! although its really NOT a bad idea!LOL!
Who do I send my check to? I would like four, please. I'll UberGrumpy know if it accepted pigeons, too.
@UberGrumpy - Hum....a pigeon attachment. Great idea!
@Debbie - Thanks! It would nice if we really could siphon that energy!
@Deb - Me, me, me!!!! Pigeon attachment is in the works.
Too bad I can't see the pic, oh well, the post is descriptive enough. I have to admit, this idea must have come from Evil Twin, I just can't see sweet you coming up with this kind of an idea. Unless of course the kitty is being snuggled and cuddled in that box. Somehow though I don't believe that is the case. Although, with a bit of tweaking the device could be made to do that in which case the cat would purr more and you'd get more power output. Just a thought :D
Ahhhhh! No... Although I would invest in a Stupid People instead of cats version. There are far more of those around you know.
@Skye - Yes, it was Evil Twin but I'm trying to come up with a more healthy use for it. I love your idea!
Welcome back!
@Maureen - Stupid version. Yes. I like that.
Is it wrong that I cracked up at this?
My cat better not even look at me funny!
What a great resource!
There are two ideas here that I really, really like: compressing cats for energy (brilliant!); and a religious group that eats Tex-Mex while farting around a campfire. You're a genius, Reffie!
Post a Comment