Friday, December 26, 2008

On a Scale from 1 to 12


Now that most of you have probably celebrated way too much or at least eaten your way out of house and home, how do you know if your holiday celebration qualified as successful?

So in the true spirit of an unreformed geek, I've come up with my own criteria to define SUCCESS:
  1. No celebration attendee is transferred to the ER either by ambulance or speeding vehicle.
  2. Fewer than 3 guests expecting to arrive at your house at a designated time to begin a meal are more than 15 minutes late.
  3. Absolutely zero toilets overflow at your home.
  4. No fire trucks arrive at your residence to put out any type of fire or explosion.
  5. Your smoke alarm only goes off 1 time.
  6. None of your guests break out in hives.
  7. You don't hear shrieks of "OH SHIT!" and/or hear the sound of breaking glass.
  8. You do not receive bathing products in your Christmas stocking or in a wrapped package.
  9. All major household appliances, including the AC/heating units are in working order.
  10. No living creatures set up housekeeping in your Christmas tree.
  11. Two-thirds of your Christmas tree is still intact and over half or your ornaments are unbroken.
  12. All of your pets have been located and de-costumed and are being treated for post traumatic stress syndrome.
In the spirit of the holiday, if you got 10 out of 12, you did good.

I hope your celebrations were grand and that you still have enough good cheer left over to give me a vote at humor-blogs.com.

Rest up for the New Year!

10 comments:

Nooter said...

(squeeek) (squeak-eee) (squeak)

MeadowLark said...

LOL... the broken glassware is a big one at our house. During the summer we hit all the garage sales so we can buy stemware. The "box for a dollar" works well, since I'm always breaking wine glasses. And it has NOTHING to do with the quantity I imbibe!!! :)

Thanks for stopping by and Happy Holidays.
-Meadowlark

ReformingGeek said...

@Nooter - Is that a squeak toy I see in your mouth?

@MeadowLark - Thanks. I asked for wine glasses for Christmas. I didn't get any so I think I'll hit the garage sales. Good idea!

Marvel Goose said...

No incestuous kisses under the mistletoe
Everyone left their guns in the car
All the promised side-dishes arrived
None of the animals ate any chocolate

Great post! Looks like you had a wonderful start to the Christmas season. Stumblesnsmileys

Chat Blanc said...

post holiday pet PTSD! ahahaha! :)

ReformingGeek said...

@Marvel - Thanks. Chocolate and animals....oz nos.

@Chat Blanc - Hypothetically, of course!

liz said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
moms crazy life said...

So glad the holiday os over..

Chris Wood said...

Hey, you forgot to include outbreaks of hideous diseases. But, since you forgot to include that (and hives don't count here), I'd have to say my own celebrations went pretty well. And quietly.

ReformingGeek said...

@moms crazy life - I'm already starting to take down decorations.

@Chris - Hum....diseases...uh oh.


"1.00s, 1.50s, 1.75s for the short arms. If you know what I'm talking about, you're probably old, too."

"Boomer brain fog: What was the last, middle, and first part of what you just said to me?"